It's a natural gift - Plus my two best friends in the world and I have been gaffing each other for years. Once at a mountainman rendezvous, we were all three going at it - really laying in to each other - and entertaining the folks around us when I overheard someone say "Man, these guys must hate each other!" The guy he'd spoken to replied, "Naw, they're best friends - Each one would gladly lay down his life for the other two!" (I leaned over and said, "Yeah, but it'd be a piss poor trade!)
A biker was riding by the zoo, when he saw a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabbed her by the cuff of her jacket and tried to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The biker jumped off his bike, ran to the cage and hit the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumped back and let go of the girl. The biker then took her to her terrified parents, who thanked him endlessly.
A reporter saw the whole scene, and addressing the biker, said, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.'
'Why, it was nothing,' said the biker, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.'
'I noticed a patch on your jacket,' said the journalist.
'Yeah, I ride with an Israeli motorcycle club,' the biker replied.
'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist with the Post, you know, and tomorrow's papers will have this on the front page.'
The following morning the biker bought the paper to see if it indeed brought out the news of his actions. On the front page was the headline:
'ISRAELI GANG MEMBER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS FOOD'
(I would ordinarily use this space for an emoticon, but somehow nothing seems appropriate.)
Well damn! I'm 47, 6'1", have a 32" waist and weigh an even 200. I don't work out and I smoke like forest fire and chugged 2 1/2 Coronas before/with supper last night. And my wife is six years my senior (although I seldom remember that).
On the other hand, I never touch alcohol when I'm on the road during the week, my job and hobbies are physically demanding and I regularly ingest massive doses of humility because I tend to look at myself through the eyes of others in order to get a more realistic picture of me. Seems like I'm doing everything right!
Ok, so where was the world when I spent 2 years living without electricity or running water and doing my cooking and heating with a tiny woodstove and using candle lanterns for lighting?
I'm sorry, but I probably won't take part. I already live "greener" than most so-called "environmentalists" and I simply don't feel the need to prove myself. But I am willing to rent out a few candle lanterns if anyone wants to use 'em for an hour or so...
Hmmm... Could it be because those other sites pay to have their ads/links here and CS is 100% free to members? Gotta' pay the bills somehow!
To the OP:
Dating sites can be quite effective. If it weren't for this one, my wife and I might have been years longer in finding each other. At the same time, I think it's kinda' like life; You get out of it what you put into it. And it's okay to hope for miracles, but if you walk around expecting them, or feeling like you deserve one, then it probably isn't going to happen...
The_Kansan Forum Posts (3,395)
RE: Phrases you can use to take someone down a notch....
You know what they say - If your parents didn't have any kids that lived, chances are you won't either!