It says: "Press Any Key" It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving."
It says: "Press A Key" (This one's a programmers joke. Nothing happens unless you press the "A" key.)
It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no. 1A4-2546512430E" It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem."
It says: "Installing program to C:\...." It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:\windows and c:\windows\system where you'll NEVER find them."
It says: "Please insert disk 11" It means: "Because I know darn well there are only 10 disks."
It says: "Not enough memory" It means: "I don't CARE if you've got 64MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K."
It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...." It means: "... However, if you put the CD in correct side up..."
It says: "Please Wait...." It means: "... Indefinitely."
It says: "Directory does not exist...." It means: ".... any more. Whoops."
It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close." It means: ".... Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your work back."
A man died and his wife phoned the newspaper to place an obituary. She called the obituary department and said, "This is what I want to print: 'Bernie is dead.'"
The man at the newspaper said, "But for $25 you are allowed to print six words."
The woman answered, "OK. Then print: Bernie is dead. Toyota for sale."
j/a, yesterday (its 03:20 AM over here) went to see my 2 youngest friends, who are 7 year old twins and gave them their Christmas presents. Really love their look of anticipation in their eyes and their reaction once they tear the wrapping and see their gifts!!
really love kids at that age, as even the smallest and cheapest thing will do for them, they will just feel special that you've got them something!
A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together.
St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homes where they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter's holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy! And if there is anything you need, just let me know.
Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack. St Peter says, "Here you go" and goes to leave when the forester says "Wait minute! How come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?"
St. Peter says: "Well, Foresters are a dime a dozen here, we have never had a lawyer before."
During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up...
The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn't know what to do. His congregation suggested that he consult a housebound 98-year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple. The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was, so he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation.
The one whose followers stood during Shema said to the old man, "Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?"
The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition."
The one whose followers sat asked, "Is the tradition to sit during Shema?"
The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition."
Then the rabbi said to the old man, "The congregants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whether they should sit or stand..."
The old man interrupted, exclaiming, "THAT is our tradition!"
p_seg Forum Posts (4,497)
Katie!! 
to all the ladies! 
RE: Happy Birthday p_seg!!!!
Dear All,thanks for your wishes! grin
to be honest, you make me
well, its not over yet, as its still evening over here, and will be going for out for dinner with one of my mates!