Happygolucky4u Poetry (159)

Chained and shackled as if one was a wild beast
The young lady stood in her barefeet
Looking up at the man who sentence her and chose her fate.
Like the sand blowing in a dust storm.
Like an angry sea rushing to the shore.
She had stood here one time before.
Broke free to run some more.
Eyes cast down but not from shame.
Tears flowing but not from fear.
She had no one to blame.
She did what had to be done.
Angry words that were thrown about
She tried to leave but there was no way out.
She searched in vain.
Reached a point of physical pain.
Decided to put an end to this.
Aimed her gun and did not miss.
She refused to explain to the man up high.
He would have to decide on his own.
If her reasons set her free.
Or if she to was doomed to die.

Sitting here listening to the women that surround me.
Thinking life sure isn't easy.
One to my right is crying as her loved one lays dying in the hospital.
I look at her and say I am sorry and I know just how she feels.
You could have heard a pin drop.
I felt all eyes on me.
But it's ok because you see.
I know it's not easy.
To act as if all is ok.
Might be fine for you.
But sometimes.
What one needs.
Is just some acknowledgment.
Then there's the beauty beside me.
She isn't happy at home you see.
She wants another.
And it is making her all so sad.
So once again I open my mouth.
I am just bad.
Let me give you some old women's advice.
Before putting the cart before the horse,
You better think twice.
Before doing something you can't erase.
Please don't think by doing this.
Your horse will win the race.
He want come close to even being in last place.
If you are not happy with where you're at.
Go live on your own.
But take the time to be alone.
You see life isn't how you talk.
It is really about how you walk.
Sure you might trip and fall.
Get back up and go on it is only a stall.
Just heed my words when I tell you.
It's not about the way you talk.
It's the way you walk.

I found myself today.
In the least possible place I would have ever looked.
It took hold of me when I realized I had found me.
A tear came to my eye and slowly rolled down to my cheek.
I did not know that I was lost. And that it was me that I did seek.
All of a sudden I remembered what made me happy.
What made me love life so much.
And I loved that feeling to feel again.
Some search for their special someone.
Some already have that one.
My joy has always come from others.
To know I can make a difference in another's life.
To be the port in a storm.
To see a frown be turned upside down.
To have compassion for another.
To lift up someone who needs a hand.
I turned my back on all so much.
The pain I felt deadened me.
But now I see.
It is humanity that makes me stay in touch with me.

I know not why my heart wants you.
There are so many here close to me.
They ask me out. They are good men.
Men who would treat me to a wonderful life.
But my heart and mind aches for you.
Some say it is me keeping love at a distance.
I wonder if it is the heart knowing what it wants.
It speaks and I listen.
I know not how to bring you to me.
If I told you would you meet me half way.
I fear not so I hunger in silence.
With the sound of my hungry heart echoing.

My feet feel the three inch beam beneath them.
Only for a minute then we become one.
Then I am at home.
I can dance in the air.
Without a care.
Backwards, forwards.
Spin around with ease.
Don't try this at home children please.
It takes practice and calm.
And strength you don't see.
But I dance and I dance for me.
A fool says watch where you lay your feet.
But a fool looks down and that is what they will meet.
So I dance with the grace,
Of feeling in place.
Turn around, bend, dip and spin.
I hope this dance will never end.

So sorry to see this is the road you chose to take.
It did not have to be.
It was your choice to make.
I still can't help but to pity you.
I know it has all been your own makings.
But now your life is thru.
They don't know it never really started.
Once we were young.
Ran with the same crowd.
Days have gone by.
And you still lived a lie.
You had every chance that any of us had.
Oh lord this is so sad.
What a waste you have been.
Now your life is over this is the end.
What were you ever thinking.
To shoot a man in the face.
That is not something you can take back.
Not something you can erase.
You'll live on in the stories they tell.
By people who have not seen your hell.

No words are really needed.
Sometimes they can get in the way.
It is so easy to misinterpret from ones lips to ones ears.
So do not breathe a word just show me what you want to say.
If you would like to start with your lips to my ears.
That would be ok.
Just keep your words I fear.
We said what needed to be said.
It brought us to this place.
Standing here so close I can hear your hearts pace.
Put your arms around me.
Our bodies know the dance of time.
I wake to find you standing here.
I shove my day dream away.
I still wish to reach for you.
But fear stands in the way.
You turn to leave the room.
I want to call to you.
But the thought of rejection hangs in a sullied loom.
Please turn to look at me and read what's in my eyes.
I don't want to let this day dream wither and die.
Come back, turn around please I can find the words.
Don't go. Oh hell go.

Sometimes I hear a song playing on the radio it takes me back to a time of yesteryear.
When I had the whole world ahead of me. And plans as big as the sea.
I thought all those plans were going to be wrote in stone.
Little did I know what life had in store for me.
I can't say I haven't enjoyed the roads I have traveled.
I have lived many life's in this life time of mine.
But I can say I miss some of the roads I know I will never cross again.
I use to think all the time.
Don't know how I would get in so much trouble with all that thinking.
I have seen so much.
Learned so much and loved so hard.
I never knew how heart rendering this life could be.
Thank you God thru it all you loved me.
When I was young and starting out you would have never thought I would be the woman I grew into.
But in life if nothing else I have learned one does what one has to do.
And my conscious was the dictator of what I had to do.
I am sorry for the pain I have caused others.
I wish I could say that statement was not true.
That I have never caused pain.
I have seen first breaths being taken by new born babes.
I have seen the last breaths taken by those going home.
I have felt so loved and so alone.
Sometimes I have felt them both at the same time.
I have never felt the need to push myself or my opinions on another.
I have also never let people push theirselfs or their opinions on me.
I have always known right from wrong.
No matter what I decided to do I knew.
Now here I am with so much behind me.
Wondering what is left to be.
It reminds me of something I heard before.
The best is yet to come.
And with all the wisdom I have gained.
I know it will not come till I am ready to recieve.
I also know if I had of refused the pain.
My life would have not been the happy one I see.

I got the car started I heard you calling me.
It's a beautiful day and I'm heading your way.
You make me feel good. Like no other could.
I'm a lucky gal found you when I needed a smile.
It seems like I have been looking only a short while.
And here you are.
Come to me.
Lets make some memories.
You fit just right.
I can't complain.
Some would call our love insane.
But to make me feel this good.
To let you slip by would be a shame.
So we're heading to the door.
I am holding on tight to you.
You want get away.
I'm surely going to pay.
Huh, what's that your saying.
Fifteen percent off.
Cool.
What you are kidding and they are also reduced thirty more percent.
Oh my.
We are headed to the door I can hardly wait to get you home.
You caress my feet and make my legs look all so toned.
I got to call my daughter.
Where is the phone?
There is a shoe sell.
Now really did you think it would be anything but a shoe.
That could brighten my day.
And make me skip this way.

You were meant for me. I knew right from the start.
I felt the stirrings of love deep in my heart.
We started off slow.
Plenty of time to share.
We could let our love grow.
And enjoy the feeling of care.
One day turned into a week.
And time just flew by.
You were just what my heart did seek.
I never questioned why.
We were meant to be.

I have always thought of a person being jaded.
As one who has had a bad relationship.
Not as one who has loved with the passion of an echo that could not be silenced.
I thought of the man who sat waiting endless for his lady to come home.
To wake to morning light alone. (jaded?)
Of a woman beat and crying. Thinking of a love that was past dyeing (jaded?)
Not the woman or man who had loved and been loved like a birth of a storm.
How could they be jaded?
The mirror shows the answers I seek.
Is jaded a feeling one will keep?
Jaded.
The heart breaking in a million pieces.
Tears that flow at the thought of you.
Not being able to let go.
Not wanting to.
Not an unanswered love.
A love of passion that was built to last a life time.
It seems like not yours, but mine.
Jaded.
Sometimes I want to erase every reminder of you.
But that means I would have to erase me too.
We were so entwined with our love.
My heart is broken and I am wondering what was I thinking of.
So in the mirror it speaks to me.
I am not free. Jaded.

Dang it. It want go.
I can't seem to move forwards,
or backwards.
Just stuck here in the middle of no where.
I don't know,
But it seems like I've been here for ever.
The windshield wiper fluid has run dry.
The windows starting to look a little dusty.
Can't seem to see in front of me anymore.
I feel like I have been here before.
Try to start the engine up.
But the motor just groans.
What good is a cell phone when the charge is all gone.
Who would I really want to call.
Who would I want to see.
Me sitting here in the middle of no where.
Wondering what is to become of me.
Plenty of gas, lots of miles behind me.
It is now a growing of dark across the land.
I just need a helpful hand.
To lift me up and help me see.
The miles left in front of me.