There are some people out there with strange and bizarre phobias, a few of these are:
Xanthophobia – fear of the colour yellow
Turophobia- fear of cheese
Somniphobia- fear of falling asleep
Hylophobia- fear of trees
Trolliphobia- fear of shopping trolleys
Fluffiphobia- fear of fluffy things
These are just a few examples, will anyone admit to having a phobia and what it is?
We constantly hear from vegetarians that eating meat and other foods is bad and we should think of the animals...
What about the rights of vegetables? Surely they feel pain in some way or another?
I’m not knocking vegetarians etc. they have a right to their opinions.
I myself am a vagitarian when the mood strikes.
There is another group we don’t hear much about, it falls under the name “Pica” which (thanks to Wikipedia) means the consumption of substances with no significant nutritional value, This often happens with pregnant women.
Some examples:-
• Cautopyreiophagia (burnt matches)
• Coniophobia (dust)
• Coprophagia (feces)
• Emetophagia (vomit)
• Geomelophagia (raw potatoes)
• Geophagia (dirt, soil, clay)
Do you eat anything like this? (perhaps when pregnant) and why?
I noticed something yesterday, I had friends round for a BBQ and they are very much in love, I noticed that they had very similar facial features.
Ive done a lot of research and normal couples do seem to have similar facial attributes, these could be eyes, noses, mouths etc.
I did see that celebrity couples did NOT have any similar facial attributes, that explains why they always seem to have short relationships.
So when looking for that perfect partner and what attracts us to them do they have similar features to us?
Think back to when (if) you were once in a very happy relationship and look for these similarities.
Do you reject on looks?
Do you reject someone because of the way someone types or sounds like?
Do you reject someone if you feel they are either too dumb or too intelligent?
Do you reject someone if their manners and compliments make you think they are just after something else?
Do you reject someone because they seem to bombard you with messages?
Do you reject a person if they say the like you, and at that stage you don’t?
DO you reject on grounds of race or religious beliefs?
DO you reject someone too far away?
What are your thoughts on this? should be interesting.
Object sexuality or objectophilia is where humans are attracted to inanimate objects, They often feel love and commitment and believe that objects have souls, intelligence and feelings as well as being able to communicate.
Ive blogged about shopping trolleys, Toasters and today Ive mentioned my collection of cheese graters. In my case it seems I am attracted to smaller domestic items, Ive read about women in love with concrete and one who actually married the Eifle tower
Having once dated a shopping trolley I know too well what happens when seduced by other objects, let's just say it ended badly when I had an affair with a coffee machine.
Im not saying I dont like women, I love women, I love everything about them, a woman's smile, their soft skin, their eyes and scent are man's gifts from the gods.
Lets see how many of you out there admit you like inanimate objects...
THE STAPLER IN THE CAVEMAN DAYS
In the caveman days, staplers were free, they roamed the plains of the Serengeti to the highlands of the Alaskan Alps, living in small family groups they became fastidious in their methods of hunting prey, however inbreeding did create offspring with buck push down mechanisms.
The cavemen and their secretarial staff soon discovered that the staplers could be captured and trained to perform tasks, these included skinning antelope and making sabre toothed pocket books from Sabre toothed tigers.
As the years (they were not counted in those days) went by and history began, more uses were found, these new tasks took hundreds if not lots of years to evolve, as Staplentologists are still digging up the petrified remains of staplers from this and the cretinous period we can see that they were indeed scared of the cavemen and the cave secretarial staff.
Frogs were still really quite small in these times, and this is where the research stopped, CIA and FBI files from this era have not all been declassified, so we assume that through the ages staples have remained as being bigger than most frogs.
A revolution of the dinosaurs in this time was indeed the turning point the staples had been waiting for, a summit held at camp naive between the dinosaurs and the staplers is assumed, and we do know from fossil remains that deaths from the StaplerDino/Caveman war were vast, the species nearly died out, as luck would have it, an enterprising young stapler named Noah foresaw that the dinosaur blood would create a 40 day flood, drowning everything not bigger than a protractor (small species of numerical and angular origin) and set about building a stationery cupboard, where staplers gathered in pairs and boarded the vessel.
After the flood of dinosaur blood eased, the staples landed on a mountain peak somewhere in what we today call down town LA. A new era was born, and soon millions of baby staplers were spraining at their springs to go out and play.
Part 2 coming soon "The stapler in the bronze and silver age."
I have just discovered that I have been eating raw toast my entire life!
I visited some friends in the big city and they had a machine called a "toaster", they simply put 2 slices of raw toast in and within a few minutes it "pop-up" and there before my eyes were slices of perfectly cooked toast.
They told me these machines had been around for decades...no one told me!
I went to a shop and found dozens of these weird machines, my toast is now raw now.
Anyone else know of this?
I had been worried, no one seems to care about the plight of shopping trolleys, so I decided to investigate and what I found shocked me.
I parked my van in a supermarket car park near to closing time with a hamper of food and a flask of coffee to keep me sustained and waited until everyone had gone.
After an hour nothing happened, the same after 3 hours, I had by this time finished last my egg mayonnaise sandwich and tucked into a Marmite and cheese baguette, suddenly I noticed a few trolleys move away from where they had been locked up, how they opened the chain I can only guess, one of them seemed to have straight wheels, and no bits of paper stuck inside its metallic frame, this was the obvious leader, the group moved slowly and with stealth near to my van, I ducked down and hid, trembling with fear, they came right up to the driver's side window and I could feel them checking to see if anyone was inside, unfortunately the combination of egg mayo and Marmite with cheese created a large amount of small flatulettes, these combined into one large expulsion of a noxious gas, afraid for my life I could not open a window or the door and simply passed out.
I awoke later and found myself tied up on the car park floor surrounded by a mob of angry trolleys, they were shaking their wobbly wheels and making a noise a bit like a washing machine with coins left in a pocket.
The leader approached me and spoke in a very quiet voice in English " What do you know pusher?" I told him that I was sitting in my van thinking about the International space station, he lashed out with a wheel and hit me hard, the others laid into me, beating me harder and harder, after a while I fell unconscious.
I woke a few hours later, but in the van, I checked my face for deep cuts to find none, they had obviously patched me up and put me back in the van, I started the engine and drove away, as I passed the trolley bay I saw that they were back and chained up, I felt the threat and drove off home.
So be careful!, treat your trolley with respect and you will be safe, they will arise one day and those that were kind to them will survive, the others will not and spend the rest of their lives in trolley park hell.
Ecoterians
We have all heard of vegetarians and the more sinister vegans but there is a new group out there called Ecoterians.
They will only eat recyclable materials, no animals or vegetables are consumed at all.
Some examples:-
The Martin family from London only eat recycled bricks, sometimes in dust form other times in small pieces; although completely toothless they all seem to be in good health.
A sect in Cork, Ireland live purely on old kitchen furniture, they find these in skips and dumped on the roadside, the leader Paddy O’Kelly said it was great as a single old kitchen feeds his followers for weeks. The spokesman mentioned that because he had scurvy he was suffering and had to eat McDonald’s burgers.
Other less extreme Ecoterians live on cardboard and plastics and there are numerous recipe books available that will help new followers transitioning from normal foods to recyclable items.
Would you become an Ecotarian? If so what items would you eat?
My Special Place
Away from my house, there's an outdoor lounge, plush sofas and a fireplace, a view over the town and olive trees growing on the hills.
Trees, shrubs and a multitude of flowers greet you as you walk to my special place, scents of flowers and the sounds of birds singing.
Visitors come, some are sad, some are happy, they sit there in that special place and feel OK, they smile, they leave happy.
I sit there and think, I sit there and carve wooden sculptures...I sleep there sometimes.
At night the Moroccan candle holders and lights create a perfect atmosphere, it can be romantic, or it can be functional.
A fire warms you in winter, faces glow in its light, all happy and serene.
It’s outdoors but indoors, it’s indoors but outdoors...a special place.
Do you have a special place?
Hundreds of innocent wooden chairs executed in the desert.
Its been reported that the scattered remains of hundreds of chairs have been found in the arid desert near the small town of Harare.
Evidence of ethnic cleansing by lay-z-boys and Laura Ashley Patterned upholstered easy chairs will no doubt create yet another conflict in our violent world.
Lets try to forgot the CS issues for a while and think about those chairs that are less fortunate, If you have a wooden chair please hug it.
UOST (Union Of Shopping Trolleys)
With British retailers now charging a staggering 5 pence per plastic shopping bag shoppers have begun to steal trolleys, this has prompted a new Union set up by the association of trolleys and carts.
Membership has been unprecedented with over a million trolleys joining in just a week.
A spokes trolley issued a press release citing the blatant theft as well as physical and mental abuse of its members due to shoppers being really silly and standing firm on a lack of principals over the cost a fecking plastic bag.
The Spokes Trolley stated that Government has not been supportive to the plight of its members and abuse has become untenable, he mentions that members were left abandoned in strange streets, used as BBQ's and thrown without mercy into canals and streams.
Images (not for the weak) show a trolley found crying and abandoned on the side of the road and trolleys kicked and overturned by non bag buying shoppers.
If you are or know a trolley in distress join the UOST now and the recovery agents (Trained in France) will come to your aid.
Viva the UOST...........down with silly shoppers!
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