New Rules for Playing Hard to Get

Playing hard to get may sound too much like grandma's advice from the old generation. Even though the dating scene has changed dramatically in the past 30 years, there are many reasons why playing hard to get is still the quickest way to land a quality mate. A lot of women have misconceptions about the reasoning behind the concept. Some men say they are turned off by women who "play games." However, when applied correctly, the new rules for playing hard to get won't come across as game playing. That's because playing hard to get is not a way to trick a man, but a way to weed out the wrong men in the dating pool.

Having a life

The first new rule of playing hard to get is to have a life. Women who have lives aren't sitting at the computer, sending text messages or posting items to Facebook all day long. They are out having fun with friends or dating men who treat them with respect. With that in mind, a woman who plays by the new rules of dating doesn't respond instantly to every phone call or text message. Men who are truly interested reserve a spot in a busy girl's calendar.

Kissing on the second date

A woman who respects herself doesn't kiss strangers. Even if a woman meets a man from the office or through a mutual friend, she doesn't share a romantic kiss with a man until she knows him better. As far as sex, a woman who protects her body and heart doesn't have sex until after the fourth date, at very least, and only if the man professes love and asks for an exclusive relationship. Some women wait until they get an engagement ring or marriage, which is also smart. Men respect women who respect themselves.

Meeting the family

A so-called "rules woman" doesn't need to impress her boyfriend's parents or family. Instead, it should be the man who is bending backwards to impress his girlfriend's parents or friends. When a man truly falls in love with a woman he detaches from his mother and bonds with his future wife. While it's essential to be polite to a boyfriend's mother, make sure not to go out of the way to impress or seek approval. A boyfriend will sense insecurity.

Recognizing the signs

A rules girl knows when a man is in love with her. He buys her flowers just because. He opens the door, quizzes her about what she likes. If a man doesn't show he is interested from the beginning, don't accept another date. If a man doesn't pursue, a woman knows he isn't interested enough. Even though it's tempting to go after a man, the fact remains that men can't develop deeper feelings for women unless they have the chance to pursue them.

Earning a living

The new rules put women in control when it comes to finances. Men are often attracted to women who are financially successful, but they also fall in love with women who live on a small salary. The important thing to a man is that a woman has a career that brings her happiness and satisfaction, especially if it's a helping profession. When a man is in love with his girlfriend or wife, he doesn't demand that she stay at home with the children or earn a high salary. He just works to ensure her happiness and the happiness of their children.

Before writing off the playing hard to get approach to attracting the right dating partner, consider whether pursuing a man has ever worked. In most cases, women who pursue end up dating a man for years or possibly living together. Women who playfully flirt with men and let them pursue often get married to the man they want within one to two years. Playing hard to get has worked for centuries because it taps into the man's basic instinct and natural drives. Women can drive men wild by playing their greatest assets.