Being rejected by your partner is one of the worst feelings in the world, especially if you didn't see the blow coming. If you've been dumped by your boyfriend, don't let yourself lose your grip on reality. Stay calm and try these 8 strategies.
You may or may not get back together with your ex in the future, but at first just listen to what he has to say. Arguing with him about the break-up will make you look desperate. It could also cause him to feel guilty and change his mind, but do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?
Instead of arguing with him, listen to what he's saying. Is he telling you that his personal problems are interfering with the relationship or that he just doesn't feel the connection anymore?
Give yourself some time, at least a few days, to think about what he said. Then, if you still want to have a conversation, go ahead and express your feelings. Recognize that he might not see the situation the same way you see it.
Even if you plan to stay friends, take yourself off his social media accounts for now. Seeing pictures of him is just going to hurt you, especially if he starts posting about another woman.
When you've given your heart some time to heal, you can always add yourself back.
You're not leaving this relationship with nothing. You still have good memories of happy times you spent together. Remind yourself to be thankful for those times instead of angry and sad.
You also might have learned some lessons about love and life, and that's valuable even if it's hard.
You may feel like moping around the house in sweatpants, but it isn't going to get you anywhere. Give yourself a day or two to wallow in it, and then force yourself to stop.
Put on clothes you know look great on you, fix your hair and wear makeup. You are going to feel much better if you are happy with the way you look. A bonus is that if he sees you out and about, he'll remember what he's missing.
Laying around on the couch eating ice cream may ease your pain for the moment, but it's going to hurt you in the long run. Instead, battle your sadness with something that's good for you. Go for a hike, jump on your bicycle or ask a friend for a game of tennis.
If you're angry, go to the gym and pretend his face is on a punching bag. Do whatever you can to keep moving.
Is there something in your life you used to love to do? Maybe you enjoyed painting, building furniture or playing the piano. Or is there a project you've been putting off that you could work on? Being productive and finishing a project will take your mind off your loneliness and give you a sense of accomplishment that will make you feel good.
This is the perfect time to remember how much you loved an old hobby. If you don't have anything to go back to, try something new. Take a yoga class, learn to sew or join a softball team. Your goal is to put your positive energy into something that takes your mind off the relationship.
When you feel ready, accept a date or ask someone out for coffee. Don't start looking for another commitment, but remember that you are attractive and desirable. Keep it light, and have fun flirting with new possibilities.
If you are still sleeping with your ex-boyfriend, stop immediately. It relieves the pain for a little while, but it's only going to break your heart over and over again. Intimacy with an ex creates a huge barrier to healing. Don't do that to yourself.
Being dumped is a horrible experience, but there are smart ways to get through it with as much positivity as possible. Try these 8 strategies to keep you going after a break-up.
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