What Does It Mean to Be Tolerant?... Has it changed?

Rules of this site state that members treat each other with respect and tolerance. But what does it mean to be tolerant? The use of the word "tolerance" has changed in recent years. While it used to mean that you defended a person's right to hold a different belief, it now appears to mean that everyone is right, regardless of their beliefs. This article presents tolerance as being free to state disagreements, while maintaining respect for opposing viewpoints.

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Historically, the meaning of tolerance has been summed up in these words often attributed to Voltaire. Even if you strongly disagreed with a belief or an opinion that was held, you could state your disagreement and attempt to persuade the person with your arguments. As you did so, you would maintain your respect for the person's position.

In recent years, though, this understanding of tolerance seems to have changed. At least, it has changed in the popular usage of the term. Today, tolerance appears to mean that everyone must agree regardless of what is said. No one is permitted to state an opposing viewpoint or accuse another of being wrong because that would be considered intolerant.

This "anything goes" mentality squashes a person's ability to think freely and formulate a belief system. This understanding of tolerance is manifested primarily from two opposite extremes:

1. Personal attacks on those who hold a deviating position.

Consider how personal the attacks can become over the issues of abortion, same-sex marriage, and religion. You likely hold strong beliefs regarding each of these issues; how would you respond to someone who holds an opposing opinion? What kinds of labels would you apply? Would you call people "homophobic" because they might hold a deeply held belief that marriage should be a heterosexual union? Would you accuse people of being "baby killers" when they express a pro-choice opinion?

It is possible for a person to hold a dissenting position for reasons that do not involve prejudice, hatred, or bigotry. The person may be wrong in that position, but there may be reasons that support it. Instead of immediately going on the offensive, it would be better to keep a cool head and engage in a civil discussion. You might discover that the person has some good arguments.

2. Proclamations that any and all positions are equally right.

From this extreme, anything a person says must be accepted as valid and true. This, though, is not tolerance in the traditional sense. After all, if everyone agrees with everyone else, what is there to be tolerant of? Ironically, people who adopt this understanding of tolerance believe that everyone is right except those who make the claim that their way is the right way. They are tolerant of everyone with the exception of those they consider to be intolerant.

While it is true that every person has a right to his or her opinion, not every opinion is correct. The very nature of truth is exclusive. If something is right, then by definition something else is wrong. Two plus two always equals four, not five. As "tolerant" as the prospect might sound, it is impossible for every conflicting opinion to be equally right. That is why open and honest conversations without the threat of confrontation or accusations are important. The goal should be to discover which position is truly correct, not insist that every position is equally correct.

The rhetoric used in relation to politics, religion, lifestyle choices, and just about every other controversial subject has never been more heated. No... tolerance does not mean that you have to agree with everyone. But it does mean that you listen, you show respect, and you state your disagreement in a controlled, reasonable manner.