The Importance of Being Honest When Dating
Relationships can quickly become complicated if you're not clear about your expectations. If you're not looking for a serious relationship, it is best to be honest right from the start. All too often, people become stuck in unhappy or even abusive relationships because they don't express their true feelings. Suffering in silence can lead to lying and cheating. Couples may find themselves spending the majority of time of arguing, rather than enjoying being together. By being honest and stating your expectations, you can avoid making yourself and others miserable.
It's not uncommon for people to get mixed signals when dating. In some instances, a couple of dates can lead one person to believe that the relationship means something quite different than it does to the other person. Perhaps one person is sending mixed signals, or the other person is misinterpreting the seriousness of the developing relationship. You may have just dated someone a few times, and suddenly she is calling you constantly, dropping by your place unexpectedly and suggesting you move in together. She's moving too fast and you're not ready for that kind of commitment. You're not sure if you want to commit to her at all. She's smart, attractive and fun to be with, but you're not sure if you feel "that way" about her.
So what do you do? Well, first of all, it's wrong to let her think you feel the same way she does. If you're dating others while this woman thinks the two of you have something special, she may be crushed if she sees you with someone else. She may also be vindictive. You can save both of you time and trouble by communicating honestly with her. Perhaps you don't know what to say or how to say it. Maybe you don't want to hurt her feelings. Maybe you're not sure how you really feel about a relationship with her. Examine your own feelings and be honest with yourself.
If you are recovering from a previous relationship and are hesitant about getting involved again, tell her that is your reason. You don't have to tell her the intricate details of your previous relationship, but you can explain that you are not ready for another serious relationship. If you think there might be potential for a relationship between the two of you but she's moving too fast, clarify how you feel. On the other hand, if you care about her as a friend, but know there are no romantic feelings toward her, you should be clear so that she does not continue to hold onto the possibility of something more. Trying to spare her feelings will only make the situation more difficult in the long term.
She may not want to hear that she is not the love of your life, or that you don't want to settle into a life of married bliss, but she will appreciate your honesty. At first, she may not be too appreciative because she's hurt, but later she will appreciate that you didn't keep leading her on. If she is a great person, and you genuinely enjoy being with her, do the best you can to keep the friendship alive. A good friendship is worth a little effort. Sometimes a valuable friendship can be just as meaningful, if not more so, than a romantic relationship. It is beneficial to know what you want when you are dating. Whether you are just looking for someone to hang out with or a future spouse, be honest with yourself and your dates.