Men: Questions to Ask Yourself If You Are Single and Unhappy About It

Dating often completely confuses people who are otherwise successful in other walks of life. They don't realize that their internal thought processes might be sabotaging their efforts. If you're a man who isn't enjoying being single, you may need to change the way you look at women and dating, so that it's a more enriching experience for both parties

Let's consider a potential scenario that may or may not apply to you. Say you are a single man in your 20s or 30s, you've spent a fair part of your youth working hard at your job, and you've achieved a reasonable degree of success. You are fairly popular with your friends and your family members, and they all seem to think you are a catch. However, for some reason, you've never really been able to succeed with women. They seem like a mystifying puzzle that you aren't able to solve and you have bumped your head on the wall with different tips and tricks, never achieving the actual results you wanted. Maybe you used some lines and techniques and managed to get a date or two, but it never really translated into anything else.

Does this sound familiar? You can probably identify with some parts of the above situation, if not all. And if you can, there is a high probability that your mindset, and not your looks or your bank balance, is holding you back. Let's look at a few questions you need to imbibe in your way of thinking to help change the results you have with women.

Instead of thinking about whether she'll like you, ask yourself 'Will I like her?'

This is a fundamental shift in thinking that will often change the way you look at dating completely. Stop trying to impress people, and make yourself the prize. Look for people that impress you, not the other way around.

What will she say that makes this conversation interesting?

Again, instead of rehearsing a dozen lines and conversation topics, if you go into the situation with the above mindset, it will benefit you greatly. The onus of making the interaction interesting lies with her, so you can sit back, relax and just be present.

What should I do while she waits, with bated breath, for me to call her back?

Fundamentally, if you don't have an interesting life, there is no one who will find you interesting. Your life doesn't need to revolve around a person who you might've met just a couple of times. Indulge yourself in living a great life, and let her wait for you to respond instead of sitting by the bedside with a bottle of wine, staring expectantly at the phone as you expect it to ring.

Is she good enough to receive my approval?

Too much of our lives are spent seeking approval from people that we may not even like in the first place. If you bend over backwards trying to win the affection of someone you just met, it's simply not attractive to people. Since you are the catch in this relationship, maybe this time you should let her be the one to wonder if she is good enough for you.

When do I want to kiss her?

Okay, you've had a great date, and now you have to move on to the next step. Instead of looking for 78 different indicators of interest that you might have read about in an article, just realize that as a man, you make the choice. If you decide you want to kiss her, go for it, and let the chips fall where they may. Don't spend needless time calculating and formulating algorithms. Just take charge.

So you've read through the above, and if the first thought that went through your head is 'That sounds so arrogant!!'... you have a problem. Every single thing mentioned above is just a part of having boundaries and exercising your choice as an individual. Why would you want to compromise your ideals to be with someone that you didn't even like in the first place? Stop worrying about what she thinks. We only have a limited amount of time on this earth, and it's a complete waste of time to tie yourself up in knots about trivial things like these.

None of what you've just read has anything to do with experience or dating a dozen different women so you can have the confidence to say no. It's just about having high standards, and only associating with people who meet them. There are no tactics, no techniques, no sequences of clever lines that will work if you are fundamentally insecure about who you are.

The bottom line is dating is all about self-improvement. Become the man you would tell other people stories about, and women will recognize it.