Five Reasons You Can't Get (or Keep) a Good Guy

Relationship troubles are an interesting thing, ladies. They often indicate problems with not just a partner, but usually problems in the person seeking the partner to begin with. Yep, it's a two-way street; if you're having trouble landing quality men, then point your fingers inward at yourself. Chances are, you are doing one of the following things that can quickly drive a man away or else send the man you've already got screaming:

1. You've Intimidated Him with Your Intelligence

It shocks women to find out that many men seek to date those who are not their equals. Sometimes he feels more in charge and more like a man when his woman is letting him lead, has a lesser paying job, or doesn't use as many $3 words like "discombobulating."

This tells you quite a bit about the man you are pursuing. If he won't feel comfortable around you from the start, then even if you somehow stayed together, there would be trouble down the road. Find someone who is more sure of himself and who is not put off by your intelligence.

2. You've Put on Some Pounds

Those looks he keeps giving your arms, shoulders, and sides as you sit for coffee--those don't necessarily mean he is admiring you. Those might well be his way of "sizing you up" to see if he will be okay with how heavy you are.

Maybe you are carrying some extra weight. It's not a pleasant thing to think about, but it is a reality in the dating world. Fitness is a big factor for men and women. The lesson here is twofold; one, take care of yourself; and two, be as selective as he is. You'll thank yourself for it later.

3. You've Lost Your Game Tension

Let's make it clear from the outset--getting too comfortable in a relationship is as bad as letting the relationship go completely. And all relationships, on some level, are games.

Relationships take work, but if you get together with your man and can't take care of your body, your image, or the time you spend together, then expect things to go south real fast. Just as in addressing a crowded room of people, a little tension is good.

4. You've Become Too "We" Obsessed

You aren't giving him his space. And worse yet, you aren't spending your days with activities that involve your own friends and/or hobby partners.

It is the sign of a healthy mind to have lots of different things to do in a day. If all you can do is hold onto him and declare how "we" will be doing this and "we" will be doing that, then you can expect your latch-on mentality to get to him. He'll feel drained and wearied in a few months tops because "smothered" is not a good way to feel.

5. You've Been Trying to Change Him

Go right ahead and make any indignant speeches you care to on how he doesn't measure up, about how he doesn't clean as much as he should, and how he doesn't manage his finances very well. You may be dead-on right about every word, but even if you succeed on changing him, he will grow to despise you for it in times to come.

Humans don't change well, which is why the groundwork of selecting a man who is a good cleaner/planner should have been done already if these were priorities for you.

Where are you now? Now, you're feeling stressed and pissed. Why? Because you didn't do the first and most important thing pursuant to any relationship--you didn't self-assess. A good man can be selective in his mates, so why shouldn't you be? More often than not, it ends up being the women who have the power in the dating game. Use it well... by looking out for yourself.