ANGER AND HOW IT AFFECTS OUR LIVES
With all the dark and negative emotions, again, gifted to us, this sentiment of being angry, is one that most experienced not only once in while but even perhaps how many times in a day when it comes to us.After reading and or familiarizing myself with this emotion, I am rather convinced that this is in fact a very good feeling, as long as it is not left to an outrageous level.causing us more damage than when and how it started in the first place.
In short don't make it out of control But here is the question, when does our emotions go out of control? How do we monitor and keep it within the accepted level of being positive? While I believe, it is triggered by someone and or something that has done us wrong, how do we address it to become a tool in understanding and or finding a solution to a problem?
I would love to leave so many variables as I am interested in sharing the inherent characteristics of this emotion on our individual experiences.
So do we know when anger is out of hand? What do we normally do to avoid confronting it so it wouldn't escalate to a more serious problem? Lastly when do you consider this emotion to be really positive if at all?
Thank you all for your continued participation on my blogs and I am grateful.
NOTE: In my country, we do have some social interventions for some cases as domestic violence, work harassment and any kind of anger dissertation that can lead to a more serious commitment of major crimes related to this emotion.
Your country may have some programs that is similar and or even better, I would like to share them?
Thank you so much.
Comments (39)
the victim will always want revenge, and if the wrong walks happily free and rich and the victim labelled bad for life, only to be more persecuted, will certainly turn to major crime and take on and infact even enjoy the label and identity given.
The law is only their for the perpetrator and the corrupt, because the law cannot and does not understand pysicology and manipulation,
only facts, which can easily be contradicted and manipulated by the clever perpetrator to his own advantage.
the perpetrator can easily play the victim and fool a judge with manipulation.
I believe that anger is out of hand the moment he sticks his head out. When I was younger I had a bit of a temper and I have realized that the moment you get angry you have lost. I have resolved never to get angry again. The count to 10 rule works well.
I have not been really guilty of such and outburst but it does come once in a while and how I deal with it results in my level of being hurt and or annoyed.
Thanks Cat.
Maybe I should qualify on it a bit. I do get irritated sometimes and it may even reach the stage of annoyance but that is where I start counting to ten.
I also believe that temperance came with the age. But that does not mean that I won't tell somebody to buzz off. Only I do it with a smile now where I did it with a growl when I was younger.
DAN
thanks Godaniel and how is Christina?
SR
DAN
So I gave up on the program albeit it cost me a lot of pay. But no regrets..I was much happier after that.
SR
thank you all.
SR
thanks for the depth of your blog topic
'How do we monitor and keep it within the accepted level of being positive?'
i don't monitor it... i use it to monitor what's happening inside of me... in essence i ask 'what's being triggered within me and why.. what needs attending to, within me?'
knowing this is critical for me, and the one i love... how can i truthfully respond to the one i love, In Love, if i don't know what's going on within me?... i cannot
I learned at a very young age that if I threw a tantrum, I would get my way. Unfortunately, that same behavior followed me into my adulthood. I would use my frustrations and anger to manipulate people. Thanks to some very close friends, they pointed this out to me. Ever since, I have been monitoring and paying attention to my anger.
After studying a highly note-worthy person's teachings, I have learned to subside my feelings of anger. Don't get me wrong, when something upsets me, my natural reaction is to feel angered, but then my rational side kicks in.
To me....what good is there to anger? When you are living alone, it does nothing. The only good to it, in my opinion, is to do harm to your health. Yes, it is good to have that initial feeling of anger arise in you to alarm yourself that something is not meeting your approval, but there is not much in life that cannot be talked out in a mature way. Also, if there is nothing you can do about what is upsetting you, a person has no choice but to accept it. Learn from your mistakes and try to avoid similar situations for down the road.
Thanks again SR....very interesting blog. Happy V-Day....Friday is around the corner. :)
But ultimately it is in knowing who we truly are and how best we relate to others. Only then we can truly establish a peaceful, tolerant and compromising relationship to our love ones, people that we encounter nd the whole world in general.
thanks so much again Johnny.
SR
thanks
SR
A person can get angry at a injustice and in turn, uses that anger to change it. In that case, anger results in a positive.
On the other hand, a jealous lover see's their partner just talking to someone else, gets angry and hits their partner. In this case, anger results in a negative.
There are some who control their anger well and others not so much. Its our ability to deal with it that ultimately determines whether its good or bad.
Sometimes we need to vent anger so it don't build up and explode. Other times, we need to cap it off so we don't do something we will regret because of.
Lots can be discussed about this, there are so many variables that you would need a book to discuss it all.
Phyllis
SR
I was having wife problems and boss problems. I wanted to pummel my ex and kill my ex-boss. I am a hard worker and I did all I could for my family. It wasn't enough for either one of them.
I got divorced and I got fired. That really made me crazy! So, instead of going to jail for both things I just about did I got rid of everything and left home. For 10 years I cruised around America working here and there.
I accepted Jesus Christ and things have turned completely around. I am back home and I have a great relationship with my children. We see each other all the time and now I have Grandchildren. I have been told many times that God doesn't exist and I just ignore and pray for those that don't believe because of what prayer did for me. I know there is a God!
And you are absolutely correct. Anger works but not when it gets out of control.
Thanks again and happy Valentine's. Ed.
SR
Anger or choler increases adrenalin in a body( similar to extreme sport ) and pushes people to increase their power and performance.
I use my anger when I ran and I use my anger when I deal with working issues. I try always to keep it under control and use it in positive way as motivation.
My alter ego= voice of conscience,does not agree many times with the way I treat my co-workers, but it is the best way how to provoke them to accept me seriously ( I am too young, too slim, too cute, too feminine, and they are all BIG GUYS
When I feel self-disctruction caused by anger starts to be about me and anger can be disseviceable, I go for running to get rid of adrenalin.
Good topic, interesting blog SR
Many forms and levels of anger, some very destructive, some just natural I would hate not to experience full range of emotions, makes me know I am alive
When anger is not channelled or dealt with it can be very destructive towards others and self.
I personlley will go to gym these days ti che or physically moved in excercise. Or put drink lunch in back pack and go for days solitude walking to sort mess in my head out.
sometimes I yell
Indeed it must not be easy tp be up there running a bunch of strong men. Do tu you ever feel like being bullied sometimes?
Thanks again
SR
Thanks again
SR
I will not bore anyone with the stories about working with men.
But... I never forget the morning I joined my first team after promotion and one or two of Alfas sent me to make coffee before I started first meeting
They just were not able to understand woman was not only created by God for one purpose ....to serve Man!
I ignored them, said nothing and enetered the meeting room with mug of my coffee. Put in front of me with sentence " Don´t touch! My teritorry! My property! " It was joke, but I did not smile and they understood...that short girlish person in high heels is serious about her teritorry. No refreshment provided by company during short meetings, one of my first decisions, we have been in recession last couple of years....
They hated when I watched them, smiling, sipping coffee and said... nothing for longer time. Especially when they were manish noisy. My teritorry my rules guys!
Running 4 times a day minimum 45 mins. 15 mins warming up before and streching after. I need it.
Now is my turn to share my personal experience on Anger. I have so many brushes with this emotions and sometimes I can just shrug my shoulder like everybody said but there are times really when my understanding limits my capacity to just forget about it.
My big point in life \is to learn and I can't learn unless I understand, then I become frustrated and almost immediately I become geared in the overdrive of catching up what it is that I am not seeing. When you were taught very highly on the orders of taking things in order, you are expected to be the cream of the crowd. Much like a pundit, only it is not just one particular edge but almost everything in life. Well it is too much of an expectations sometimes that I put unto myself. So I am not angry at those that make me feel frustrated or things but myself. Most of the times.
What I do when that happens is I go to my room, (my children and my ex husband know this all too well) wanting to be just alone. Throw all my clothes on the floor and all drawers emptied everything.
I create my own chaos, but that chaos is the key for me to unwind, I then re organize everything. What I discovered is that in my mind, sorting out that temporary presence of anarchy in my life makes me find peace and serenity on doing so. Then I discover so many of my things that I have been looking for a long time, and it just brings smile on my face. That item now leads me to a journey unto itself, as to where I bought it, (if I did) or who gave it to me or when and what was the whole story. In my mind, now the imaginations and remembering come to play and it is like a movie, only it is mine.
Whne I am already finish (sometimes, it takes two to three hours or whole afternoon) When I open my door, Voila, I have dozens of roses and my favorite ice cream Ben and Jerry's chunky monkey.
I now get out and greet my loving and patient family and life starts rolling again.
thank you all guys and my appreciation for all your contributions on my writes.
SR
Happy Valentine's Angel and stay warm. It is chilly here on my side of the Coast and the sun is hiding for right now? Still snowing up there?
thanks my dear Angel.
the Bhagwad Geeta is the world's first and also the only comprehensive lifestyle management manual written to date.
what does it say about anger management?
krodhad bhavati sammohah
sammohat smrti-vibhramah
smrti-bhramsad buddhi-naso
buddhi-nasat pranasyati
( From anger, delusion arises, and from delusion bewilderment of memory. When memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost, and when intelligence is lost, one falls down again into the material pool. )
i guess i might be digressing a bit, but you would be surprised after knowing how contemporary and relevant the geeta still is.
naty-asnatas 'tu yogo 'sti
na caikantam anasnata?
na cati-svapna-silasya
jagrato naiva carjuna
( There is no possibility of one's becoming a yogi, O Arjuna, if one eats too much or eats too little, sleeps too much or does not sleep enough. ) lord krishna advices orjun at the battle field that sleeping and eating too much ( modern fast food and other unhealthy eating habits ) or too little ( anorexia resulting from ftv hangover ) will not result in becoming a true medidator.
not only in all leading b-schools of India - the lessons of geeta are widely taught worldwide including harvard. if all people of earth try to follow half of it, all problems of the world will be solved.
can you be calm while angry? this is indeed an intriguing concept. and is it ever possible to practice? at least one man did so.
Gandhiji.
( if you mean laws by social interventions then we have similar laws too. )
and yes I do believe these teachings that are prevalent long before this new world took over, are by far deeper and simpler yet more useful if we dig into them. Your last presentation, believe it or not is a byproduct of counsel of times, wisdom acquired and lessons learned trough our mindfulness with our individual growth and edevlopment.
If you haven't read OSHO, and synchronicity, and Zen and Buddhism, and even Tao principles, they do have one in common. that is the effect of PEACE AND SERENITY WE evolved to in our lives as long as we let it reign over us. But the real world is so difficult and emblazoned with all these evil forces and being good sometimes that would totally void anger and all the negative emotions are but impossible to avoid.
Well we can add a lot more AK and I am sure with your exposure to the higher and elite schools, there are so many things that we can share the world, but then it is not the direction you are about to be in as I know you have a very busy life relative to making the dough and what it can offer you? then again who knows, I am mistaken and so it will show?
thanks AK
SR
well anyways, my oldest is like you. Very good person but very RESERVED. Introverted is a very mild way of putting it. She is so independent yet she can't be bothered by anyone or anything. But when there is something wrong with her I will have to pull my own teeth to get to it. I do not like it because it leaves me and all around her walking in an eggshell when that happens. Then when she can't take it anymore she explodes, much like you, although it happened only once it almost caused her dear life. She eventually changed of course and slowly and consistently she managed it through help and she is so different now.
I am so thankful and she is now very involved with others, share her feelings and when something upsets her, she would acknowledge and go from there.
I believe our personalities are so different and that is a part of our genetic and environmental make up.
But being angry for the right reason and for the right time and for a good cause, yes I agree with the benefit it provides us all.
thanks Leah and happy Valentine's dear.
heading to Tahoe this weekend..
Take care Leah.
SR
Thanks AK
SR
Second, my first time to see you and I am indebted with your gracious participation.
You are very right on all the presentation you have laid out. If anything it is a very tool to better understand why this most useful emotion can really be a very good trait if under control and use it perfectly for the right reason, at the right time.
You have said it so good but what I am con, concerned about is how you become totally out of control when it comes to your GF? I think I can surmise that because when it comes to the one we love, we become so defensive and or so hurt and we let our angry emotions over run us. I am relating to your feelings. As civilized and as diplomatic I try to be, it sometimes, just become and outburst which will make me regret later and or say the thing like: WHY ON EARTH DID I DO THAT?
Dr. Paul Ekman, considered as the guru of emotions, also offer us some explanation why such a level and rapid escalation of this emotion si such when it comes and involves the one we love. the one who holds the key to our hearts.
thank you so much again and please do fell free to mail me if you want.
SR