Welcome to South Africa.
We are so fortunate to have 11 official languages. How many do you have? We can think in one language, sanitize our thoughts in another, express ourselves in a third and deny our statements in yet another and still have 7 other languages in reserve. We are probably the most politically correct nation in the universe. We don’t talk about ‘black-outs’ anymore when the power fails; we refer to it as ‘previously lit’ places.
To save time, I will answer a few frequently asked questions.
No, we don’t live in mud houses.
No, we don’t have lions roaming in our streets.
Yes, there are still some whites.
No, we have no cattle straying on our highways.
Yes, some of our roads have potholes.
Yes, our government does create jobs.
No, our police force is not very effective
Yes, we have free public transport.
Yes, we have skyscrapers.
Yes, we have satellite TV
Yes, we have a reasonable degree of literacy.
Ok, now that I have answered all the shit questions, let’s get serious. If you have any other questions about South Africa, I’d be glad to answer them.
Bear up, it is small Saturday.
