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A New Look At Relationships

So now the honeymoon is over and what used to be ‘oopsy doopsy, who had a poopsy?’ became ‘you will still shit me out of this house!!’ and you feel that it is going nowhere. Then it is high time to get the ground rules in place if the relationship is to survive. stuck

The most important thing now is that either the man or the woman has to be good at taking orders. Preferably, the man’s vocabulary should not exceed ‘Yes Dear’. There are no guarantees; if that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a stove or a fridge, depending on whether you want a hot very mad or a cold snooty relationship. devil

Relationships don't always make sense; especially to those on the outside. The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prison they let you play ball playball on weekends. Relationships, on the other hand, give you a steady partner to argue with. No longer do you need to argue with a different partner every night. blah blah

The secret of a long relationship is to take time off to go to a restaurant once a week; a little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. It is important that they go to different places. Ideally, couples need to live three lives: one for him waiter, one for her blah and one for them togetherbuddies . Men are from Mars, women are from Venus and they’re both marooned on Earth. Deal with it. grin

A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man. It's better to love and lose than having to do 40 pounds of laundry every week. idea
cats meow cats meow

Comments (66)

BeaPatient
Hi Cattie, if it is about getting your washing done, why don't you shack up with a washing machine?tongue
LucyMaud
40 lbs of laundry every week? help laugh
Catfoot
Hi Bea,
Do you want to marry me? laugh
wine hug
Catfoot
Hi Lucy
With a woman in the house, we can cut that down to a quarter of that. My clean and dirty clothes often land up together and then I wash whatever is out of place.grin
wine hug
BeaPatient
Foff. I'm not a washing machine. dancing
Catfoot
Maybe I must start an affair with a dishwasher. I don't have to do washing three times a day. grin
Yep, Catman. Nice blog. And you mentioned the most important words for a man to use in a relationship with one of those complicated female creatures. "Yes Dear". And one can always add for efffect---"that was about the best idea I've heard for a long time, you beautiful genius".
Catfoot
Hi VK
Hmmm, I can see you're a man of vast experience. Maybe we must work together in compiling a book on the aspects of relationships.devil
cheers wave
LucyMaud
Being called a beautiful genius by a man who thinks Trump is brilliant is definitely not a compliment. cheers
Catfoot
Hi Lucy
I'm going to vote Trump for newsmaker of the year. I don't know how he manages it but no matter how hard I try to avoid him, somehow he works himself into my blogs time and time again.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
LucyMaud
laugh Right....back to relationships....if you sort and load your laundry, I'm certain there are any number of suitable women who would cheerfully press the Start Wash button on your washing machine. hug
mollybaby
The most important thing now is that either the man or the woman has to be good at taking orders.

I would ague that a relationship is better if neither is constantly forced to have to give orders.

If something needs to be done, it should be done by whoever is in the position to do it at the time.

Then neither partner is put in the position of having to give orders aka nag.
johnjjm
with someone you just do together but some things the woman has to do is never nag ...a nagger has to be corrected or they could get worse by the day so you need stamp it out at once this washing cat I do same I forgets whats clean and just stick them in better than sorting so how you know how much it weights I don't know have no scales but I say just shove in till it takes no more
LucyMaud
No nagging from either partner. hug
Multifrutas
why should it survive if two people are exasperated with each other it is over
M4_Mischief
yes dear......professor
What doesn't work? How I count the ways.--- You are just like your mother. Remember when you said that thing about this topic 20 years ago? If you stopped stuffing yourself, and lost weight, you wouldn't be so unfair with me. You always... You never... See, talk like that is making our kids abnormal. All my friends think you are nutso. I saw you winking at the milkman. You are most of the cause of our financial problems. I should have married your best friend rather than you. I know you have been faking o*gasm for years. If you were more of a man/woman, I'd be much sexier. Your choice of dress makes you look like a street walker. The cooks overseas in the army were much better than your disasters in the kitchen. Lots more, but this should do for most couples.
MiMiArt
As for Art and MiMi’s relationship, one of the way to make it work is Arty bringing his MiMi to Goodwill ( thrift shop ) at least once every 2 weeks!!! applause


Thank God not for the United States Marines but the Goodwill stores!! yay


P.S Art’s sisters are amazed that their brother is not only allowing the MiMi to shop at Goodwill but to wait for her there while she shops!! laugh
Catfoot
Hi Lucy
I can push the button on a washing machine myself. But I have other buttons I want to be pushed.devil
wine hug
Catfoot
but Molly,
Nobody is ever forced to give orders. It is those under orders who are being forced.laugh
wine hug
Catfoot
Hi JJ
The truth be told, I have no idea how much it weighs. The design of my bathroom scale does not allow for the weighing of clothing. It was just a figure that I grabbed out of the air. laugh
cheers wave
Catfoot
But Lucy
Men don't nag.
Not unless when it is needed.rolling on the floor laughing
wine hug
Catfoot
Hi Multi,
Just for the hell of it. They have to suffer for all the good times. The preceding blog was to pave the way for this question. I knew it would come, I just did not know who'd do the asking.rolling on the floor laughing
wine hug
Catfoot
Hi Mischief,
No, no, no! that is my line.
You're supposed to say: "Did you take the garbage out?"grin
wine hug
Catfoot
Hi VK
Yep, this is the stuff I referred to when I spoke about the punishment. I hope ol' Fruitsalads look at this. laugh
cheers wave
Catfoot
Hi Mimi
The honeymoon is phase one, make it last forever. wink
wine hug
Embedded image from another site
Jigsore
Hello again my good man, Catfoot.If I may contribute to this particularly interesting thread.

I find if a woman has a pair of good sturdy hips awning muscular thighs such as the women you might find in my glorious country of Nepal, a man is ill-advised to demand much at all from his wife; our heavy iron cookware can debilitate when heaved in anger Of course there are occasions when the man must put his foot down and relegate his woman to the cow shed for a few nights, or harness her to the field plow for a day or two, but generally on a day to day basis it's best he lets her be.
Catfoot
Hi Jigs,
If I get much more of this I'm going to wet my pants. rolling on the floor laughing
You are too funny for words. I hope you stick around for a while. Of course, you are too adept to be new around here. I just wish I knew who you are.
laugh rolling on the floor laughing wave
Jigsore
My good man, Catfoot, you honor me with your reply.

I am nothing more than a simple goat herder who wishes to share the Nepalese warmth, mirth and should the opportunity arise, a seductive dance before a special woman should she be willing to venture upon my mountain. I have a very big mountain that hasn't felt the presence of a woman in a long time.
robbyreal
Hi Cat

Some very simple and basic principles may help us men to make a more harmonious marriage or partnership.

1. Men are always wrong, women are always right! It is often difficult for us men to completely understand why this is so, but we must simply accept it.

2. On the same day a man can do 99 useful gestures which can range from simple things like cooking dinner to cleaning out the garage and he can expect little praise or acknowledgement for these daily ‘expectations’. However if he fails to complete one single task correctly, he can expect the 99 great gestures to be totally disregarded and be mercilessly admonished and nagged at for that 1 unfortunate error. So lads, we have to be 100% perfect or else we better hide. grin

3. Women do not possess logic, so no matter how much us men can’t understand the reasoning behind her wanting something a certain way, we must not question it, but simply comply and wait for that sudden moment a week later when she says ‘ahhh..maybe it would be better your way after all’. *but we must not say ‘I told you so!’ ....avoid that!

Follow these 3 simple principles for a happy harmonious relationship!

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing grin
robbyreal
As for jigsore....your style and turn of phrase has a certain ring to it. A man who makes maps perhaps? A ‘mapmaker’ ? hmmmm...I wonder confused grin
Bearwoman
What is considered a relationship?
Catfoot
Hi Jigs,
I can imagine women to be in rather short supply up there in the mountains. You should turn your head to Africa where a few heads of cattle will secure an equally sturdy and unruly wife. You may google 'labola' for more information. Of course, you breed goats but a man with your qualifications and abilities should be able to secure a bank loan to finance the acquisition of a few heads of cattle. Some tribes allow more than one wife and if you have the finances, five or six wives can only be an asset. Our African maidens are familiar with goats and will be of great help, leaving you with plenty of time to pursue other ventures. That is if you can leave the new in-laws behind in Africa.

I am acquainted with several proud fathers who'd be quite willing to deal with you and I'd be more than willing to act as a mediator on your behalf.idea
cheers wave
Catfoot
Hi Robby,
You're gambling with your sick leave. hole laugh

By the way, what happened to Mapmaker. So many people went missing during my sojourn in the real world. I hope he was not banned as well.
cheers wave
Catfoot
Hi Bear - I was tempted to say Barewomanlaugh
I'm not always sure but I like to compare it with two dung beetles fighting for control of a piece of dung to roll away. Of course, I'm not the expert on the topic, VK may be of more help.grin
wine hug
robbyreal
Cat....yes ai miss old mapmaker - one of out most entertaining bloggers!

As for what happened, well no clues on that except I currently have a theory that he has ended up in the Nepal mountains and no longer produces maps, but jigsaws ..lol
Catfoot
Hmm,
You're probably right. His profile is missing and if it was not done by the Mods then he's legal. That's if it is him. confused
cheers wave
BeaPatient
Hi Cattie, quite frankly, I don't know why you bother about your laundry. As far as I know, your sister sees to it.roll eyes
usha123
Cat,
As I get older, I don't find relationships interesting. I can't live 3 lives. I want to live mine to the fullest. A man in it should be like the TV. I can switch on or off when ever I want. laugh rolling on the floor laughing

And 'yes dear' will bore me to death. I like when I am told No. That motivates me as I am a stubborn person.

Relationships are hard work. I am lazy.



hug bouquet
Sounds like you've experienced some...crappy...relationships. laugh

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