Settling for less than perfect
and yes I know I have been snooty about others putting up multiple blogs. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em
This is in part inspired by Mimi's blog, which was inspired by Calm's comment, so there you are, we have a chain of blame.
It is also a genuine question but one, for once, I don't think CS can answer because on CS we are, I think, all about finding the perfect match, and nothing less will do. That's why we are single, you know. Perfect is very rarely on offer
Sometimes, we don't get offered what we want, but we do get offered what we need. Yet because we want perfect, we sneer at the idea of 'settling' for less
If you have ever said 'he (or she) is nice, I like them, but there's no leaping pulses, no WOW factor, so I'm not going to bother, I don't believe in settling' please kick yourself, cut the 'settling' word out of your vocabulary, and let this nice thing quietly grow legs, if it can.
If things don't work out (and here we are back to that chain of blame) well, they don't work out. So what? You got out there, you struck sparks and lit a fire, and it burned out. Not enough for an everlasting flame. There's no BLAME!
Anyone dares sneer at you, well, have they even got that far or are they stuck for eternity on that shelf, peering into the distance for the perfect and ignoring everyone else? Hmmm. Good luck with that.
Comments (30)
And I suspect yours will be the only comment I get
Time to go
Anyone else find it a really fiddly process deleting a blog???
So yup I use we and hope that it isn't in fact only me
I'm single for my reasons, you are single for yours, everyone has their own reasons and there's as much variety there as in every other aspect of our lives.
But be fair, you've read the blogs long enough, can't help but notice that the same 'got to be perfect' sentiment crops up a LOT?
I think most of us are actually pretty happy with our lot. It WOULD have to be perfect to make us change. But that is just my opinion
I don't like that word "Perfect" as nobody is perfect.
IDEAL would be more appropriate
Like GG, I realise that I'd rather have someone I feel chemistry with and a soul connection, someone exciting and a bit wild, rather than a perfect partner. Perfect means boring to me!
Also, part time rather than 24.7 as I like my own space to do my own things.
so... what are you saying is, I should settle for the first 50 that come along???
Jesus
That's a few of us on the comments who prefer part-time. Maybe we should set up a subgroup ... and CC makes a good point, perfect is better when its perfect-for-you ...
Go on, pull her pigtails. Dare you. DOUBLE-dare you
My late husband used to brag about what a perfectionist person he was.That got on my last nerve.
I told him that no one was perfect and that I never expected them to be but perfect for me.
BTW, difficult living with a perfectionist, you have to keep the balance for both of you or it can go quite OCD. You obviously got it right, a tricky balancing act though
BTW, difficult living with a perfectionist, you have to keep the balance for both of you or it can go quite OCD. You obviously got it right, a tricky balancing act though handshake
Biff I've far from perfect myself and not afraid to admit that I have plenty of flaws.
My guy friend knows he's not perfect and has admitted several times to me that he's a long ways of being perfect and glad to know that I haven't expected him to be.
Yes Biff at times it was a tricky balancing act.
But that is good. We can't all be the same.
Somebody doesn't have to be classically good looking for me to be attracted to them. They just have to be attractive to me.
Personality will always be the number one for me, without that it simply won't happen. But I want it in a package I want to unwrap
If there is one thing I have found about in my relationships, it is that no person is perfect. 2 people will have different opinions, different things they want to do, a different rhythm or simply a lot on and a bad days.
It has nothing to do with settling either for me. I either connect with someone or not, and if someone is on paper "pretty perfect", it doesn't mean that I necessarily like him. I could never settle for someone.
I think you have to give people a chance. If there is someone I liked and that seemed ok, I have given it time to get to know him. Sometimes it was a waste of time, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.
There is always the chance that things don't work out, but there is also a chance that it does.