I'm a bit of a gypsy, and have moved I think 22 times since I was born - when I bought my current little house, which is quite an ugly little house, I thought oh well, it will be fine for a year or two. Thirteen years later ... I got home from work today to find a big box on the doorstep. Wait until Christmas to open it? Aye, that'll be right!
This ugly little house is now crammed with memories. I brought favourite stuff with me when I moved to the UK, inherited more when my father died, then when my mother did, things from my childhood that I had loved. My daughter's room is like a time warp of her life, unnerving for visitors perhaps but she loves it when she comes to stay. Changes and improvements for my comfort have been made by people who cared about my happiness. It isn't even that ugly any more - some bits are now downright pretty. And the big box contained a fire to dress up the lounge.
Love it.
and so does the dog
Memories can be happy or sad. I choose happy.
Is it wrong for me not too celebrate Christmas, it's only just another day in the year
who has a job, but it doesn't pay much. A night job, from 6 at night till 2 in the morning. What we call suckie hours.
The man she lives with also has a job, a better job, with daylight hours and 3 times the money.
The have been together for 5 years. They began in his parents house, living in the basement, then in an apartment, now he has leased a house, and his parents talk of marriage and she thinks of it.
Not too long ago she noticed her man's facebook page no longer says 'in a relationship' and he has some new female FB friends she doesn't know.
Loke any couple they have up days and down days. He likes her cooking, but leaves his socks on the floor. The usual stuff.
Her car died two months ago. She had enough money for a new used car, but thought that if she could get him to co-sign a loan, she could put half the money down and still have some money so she could buy some things for the house. She was a little hurt when he simply refused. Gave her a spiel about learning financial responsibility and not wanting to tie up his money yet. She thought about the times when his salary didn't cover enough for the apartment and furniture so she picked up the payments on the furniture and bought the food too, but she said nothing. Instead she took all of her money and bought a new used car. She has no more money, but at least she has a reliable car.
This is Christmas week. She got a line of credit at a store and bought a big screen television for him. She has been hiding it at work and was planning on bringing it home tonight.
Yesterday morning he told her he was going to the gym, which he has been doing every morning for years. This time she decided to surprise him with a brunch after his workout. So she went to the gym to get him. He wasn't there. Worse the clerk told her he hasn't been there all week.
So she goes home puzzled. She thinks also she may be coming down with the flu. Last week he had the flu and lay in bed all day. She nursed him as best she could, but she had to go to work. This week he announced he felt better and was going to the gym again. He has said so every day this week.
He comes home a few hours later freshly showered and tells her he had a really good workout and played some basketball too. She is both stunned and hurt, but says nothing.
Later, they argue. Something silly about how much hot water the washing machine uses. A normal argument or discussion in any household, but last night it took an ugly turn.
He tells her as she is getting ready for work, this isn't working out, I think you should move out.
And there it sits. The dream is being smashed in front of her and she has no clue why.
Grey sky day after day, they said it looked like going to snow, snow may be fun and can colour the world , but I am afraid that I no feeling to enjoy its beauty ...
Though I keep my room warm like early Summer, the temperature is about 23. but the daytime looked like gloomy without sunshine. I want my air-conditioner have a rest in the Sunny afternoon, but it seems like an extravagant hope...
I love to see the power of sunshine though it have to be kept out of the windows... I miss the Sunshine, where you gone? where you hidden? Somebody told me if the Sun didn't appear, then draw a large Sun on the wall in the room. But I just wonder is this kind of illusions can work?
Anyhow, May the sunshine smile at my Dad 's bed often.
Warm regards to you all.
And greatly missed.
I do not stand alone. What's always standing behind me to be strong, and do the right thing is the honour and love of my father. I try never to fail you. Even when I did, you were behind me.
To all the fathers on this special day. But always in our hearts.
Where's she?
Anyone?
Just left us without a word?
Jen....I hope all is fine with you.