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I thought I'd tell you one of those "It's a long story ", story's.

I am a the product of a very middle class family, that had skeletons in it's cupboards,( oh hell yeah, we had a whole bloody graveyard full).
I'm the youngest of 6. I had three brothers, two sisters, an uncaring mother and a violent, abusive farther. I never saw my dad hit any of the rest of my family, just me,( I may need a violin for the next bit). He'd hit me with any thing that came to hand, a stick, a shoe, a belt, And if nothing came to hand there was always the good old fist in the side of the head. The last time he hit me was with a can of beans, More, about that later.
My brothers emulated his behavior towards me, I took quite a few nasty beating off of them, up until the point I could give them back as good,(Or as bad), as I got. I was 7 when they realised they could put me down, but I wouldn't quit an being only 7 I fought like a cornered rat.(pull hair, scratch, bite, Gouge kick, up close and nasty). after that My dear brothers acted like my mother and sisters,and ignored me.


This is how it went on for 3 more years. regular poundings from my daddy, and being excluded by every other family member. To spite him I would never cry, he could hit me as hard as he wanted to, but I wouldn't give the bastard the satisfaction. This was Normal,(with a capitol N even ), family life to me.


The one time I told someone about what my dad did to me, was when I was 10 a PE teacher at school, asked me where I got the bruising .all down my back. So I told him,( my dad had taken using his belt on me).
He informed social services. I didnt know this until a few days later a social worker came came to call. Talk about happy family's.

Two weeks later....A social workers report ......
"..... The child is a liar, He makes up story's, He's careless, Clumsy, Sullen, "why I wouldn't put it passed him to have thrown himself down the stairs." (that was the family explanation for the bruises) ,We never saw or heard nothing, ect ,ect "
Was basically what the social workers report said.

My dad saw that as his cue to, (In his words,) "Teach(POW),You(Thwak) Not(Thunk), To(Bash).Drag.Outsiders(SPLAT). Into. Family . Matters.(KERPOWIE)", and he punctuated his words with the previously mentioned baked bean tin.
I dont clearly remember happened next Whether this was down to the blow on the head I had just got, or the fact I blew a fuse.
I do know I lost it big time. Red mist is the best way to describe it. The next thing I do clearly remember is my two oldest brothers struggling with me trying very hard to restrain me, and remove a cricket bat from. My Farther was sitting on the floor across the other side of the room, his noes all over his face looking totally shocked.
What I'm told happened is I headbutted him, then shoved him across the room where he fell against the wall. Then according to my brothers, I picked up the cricket bat and went for him
(Charge) and proceeded to give him 10 yrs worth of poundings. The one thing I do remember is Shouting over and over "You touch me again and your dead!" I know I meant it, and so did he. The look on his face was one of fear.
It's a shames to say, But for a long time I thought of that look on his face as my happiest childhood memory, (I dont now)

The upshot of this was When that school year ended, Having passed my 11+ with a passing mark that was in the top 5% for that year, in the City we lived in, (not bad for a worthless, brainless Idiot) I was destined to go to a grammar school, but my parents decided that I would be sent to a boarding school instead.

(Cont in part2) (if you wish to comment do it under Part 3)

Depression sucks. I'm doing my best to keep myself positive and out of trouble and away from the bad things in life. Like boredom. I don't like those Damned phone app games that people spend hours and hours on ignoring what the universe has set before them. And yes, I do know it's contradictory to be typing this on my phone so I can see the ironic dilemma I am in. But I would much rather be typing this than draining my mind binge watching TV or playing games. I was approached this morning by another driver that had some serious issues going on with the company he drove for and his personal life. I helped him with some advice on how to get to a better place in his heart, being completely honest with him that I have my own issues. He started bawling his heart out because of how heavy it weighed on his soul. He thanked me a bunch of times and I have a feeling he'll be ok. But it just brought me back to my own problems and I do believe that I don't want to deal with mine because I have been trying. I keep feeding the pigeons that are waddling around my truck and it keeps pissing off the trucks around me, but too bad. God gave me those birds in my life temporarily to feed and watch and wonder at. I'm upset because I found multiple grey hairs in my chin whiskers and at my temples. I'm barely in my mid 30s and having white and grey hairs isn't supposed to be happening. And yes I do believe each one is a lesson learned, but did I really need to get a reminder to each one? I wish my phone didn't glitch. I had the most beautiful words typed after that question and then it glitched and deleted it all. I wish I could just write it all down in one shot and get it all off my heart and mind. I thank you all for allowing me to be able to just get it out. I've noticed that once the scam profiles realized I actually wanted something real that they stopped wanting to send me to their sites. Thank you. The real people on here, I truly appreciate your comments and suggestions and I know it seems like I ignore certain things, and I am sorry because I'm not. I just get busy with work and driving that I don't have much time to respond to it all. I have been trying my best to alleviate some of the boredom with walking around or counting stars to just sitting there and drawing little scenes in a tiny notebook I keep in my shirt pocket. I have been thinking alot about the fact that for 12 years the game she dangled of a possibility of her getting a tubal reversal and us having children together is a good thing it didn't happen. I'm still dealing with the pain of her getting having an ectopic pregnancy that ended in miscarriage and the horrible things said to me because of it. I'll put it this way, what happened happened. God's will be done. May the unborn child be at peace in heaven. I truly hurt because of it and I wish something other than that being told to me was God's way of saying I'm not worth a damn and all the other harsh things said to me over it over the years never happened. I wish that it wasn't the knife in my heart every time because you saw it as a game and I saw it as a loss of a life not met. I wish that it wasn't dangled in front of me thinking that the possibility was what kept me around. I do wish for children of my bloodline. But that didn't mean I didn't have enough love in NY heart to raise yours too. Money was never an issue. It was the selfishness and childishness. That was. I always showed that from the very first day. I always protected them from the harsh things said. Ones just short of adulthood by a few months and the other has just a couple more years and he will be a young man who has issues. I told you they always come before I do because a relationship is never worth a child's expense. Ever. I held those words true even before we said our vows. I just wish I could tell the whole story. From beginning to end. I'm going to just smoke a cigar and watch the smoke disappear into the sky.

I love my Grandkids, but unfortunately 2 of them live quite a ways so I can only see them maybe twice a year.

So, that brings me to the close by Grandchild, Leo. Leo was born almost 2 years ago and he's quite a little dude. His relationship with his parents is so beautiful and healthy. They adore each other.

So, yesterday when I went to go see Leo his Dad, my wonderful son, tells me I am going to be a Grand Dad again!! Seems like it's going to be a little girl. I am so happy. My life is so great! And I give the Almighty God all praise, credit, honor and glory, Amen & Amen!!

I am often reminding myself how lucky I have been to still have my parents as I approach my 70th year. Lord I don't feel 70. It's getting harder to focus on how lucky I am as I watch Dad's disease kill him oh so slowly. It's no fun either to watch my Mother fade away in grief. Hospice was called yesterday, this will be my first experience with "End of Life" care which I actually suck at.

I actually did not live with my parents for much of my childhood so I'm not affected as harshly as my baby sister & brother. The two babies grew all the way up with Mom and Dad, so the loss is killing them much harder. I'm more ready to let go because I would not want to be alive in his condition. I could call a Mercy Death if it were up to me but most of my family members wouldn't understand. They want to keep the body alive no matter what. I have no problem honoring their wishes and not saying how I feel.

I have a DNR on myself so I shouldn't ever get to the place of where Dad is and hopefully I can avoid my children seeing me in AS sad a condition as I see my Daddy in. All recognition is gone from his eyes.

Two sides to the same coin, one is the bright side and the other dark. Mostly the coin lands on the bright side but sometimes it doesn't.

I don't need condolences as I am not grieving but feel free to share your experience if you had one with Hospice?

I socialize with a group of octo---nonagenarians here at Mickie D's, where I get the endless java for a buck, and the decent wifi. They have a grand time with themselves, and I have learned a good deal just listening. Topic number one is their medical care/conditions. But in this New England town, where many, exept perhaps for military service, have rarely ventured 100km away, a lot of talk is about their and others' families. Some, many, have been here since our revolution, or earlier. Do you know tall Mary Lou? Is she a Seeker, or a Reynold? No she is a Pendleton, but married a Lynch. Our parents are first generation here, and we have lost touch with folks in the old country, so my elder pals' experiences are so foreign to me, but quaintly of great interest. Aa-V.

HOLLAND:
Jonathan Jacob Meijer, 41 a sperm donor who has fathered 550 children is being taken to court and sued over accusations his frequent donations are increasing the threat of accidental incest.
11:40 AM · Mar 28, 2023

A Dutch non-profit is suing a sperm donator, who has fathered 550 children, for increasing the risk of incest.

The Donorkind Foundation, a Dutch non-profit which reunites donor children with their birth parents, is bringing the suit against 41-year-old Jonathan Jacob Meijer, accusing him of lying about the number of children he has fathered, according to Yahoo News.

The suit asks the court to stop Meijer from donating sperm and destroy all his remaining semen samples, except for those reserved for women who have already had one of his children and want a genetic sibling, reported El Pais English. Dutch guidelines say donors should limit their contributions to a maximum of 25 children, or 12 women inseminated, according to Donorkind.

Donorkind is bringing the suit on behalf of the mother of one of Meijer’s children, identified only as Eva, who birthed the child in 2018. She said “If I had known he had already fathered more than 100 children I would never have chosen him. If I think about the consequences this could have for my child I am sick to my stomach,” Yahoo reports.

Meijer has been blacklisted from Dutch sperm banks since 2017, but still donates to multiple sperm banks worldwide including in places like Denmark and Ukraine, according to Yahoo. Yahoo also reports that Meijer, who now lives in Kenya, solicits prospective parents and sometimes uses the pseudonym ‘Rudd’ when making donations.

Meijer first came to light when Dutch gynecologists’ association NVOG alerted the public to his prolific donation rate in 2017, after it was revealed he had already fathered at least 102 children, according to MSN.

Many people ignore or are in denial when the early signs of dementia start showing up blaming the brain on aging. Many signs are simply normal after all how many times does one walk into a room to get something only to forget what they are supposed to get? That happens to even young people. I will not go into all the research I did but I will hit some of the highlights. I know my Dad had all the symptoms in the beginning but my Mom refused to believe it until it was too late, I think we all were in a bit of denial as well as uninformed on what to do.

The early stages of dementia are totally reversable. Quite a shocking revelation to me. Diets are very important but I'm not touching that subject for awhile, however the main culprit (for almost anything evil in our bodies) is sugar and cheap oils which are full of horrible situations to take place in our bodies. Anything processed, especially in America is awful for us yet we consume it daily anyways.

One of the most important things the elderly can do is stay active and excercise (my weakest link is excercise). Other ways to fight the early onslaught of dementia is to "Change it Up". Do different things to excercise the brain and try not to follow a rigid routine. A routine has its benefits but once ingrained the brain is not getting any stimulation. Try a crossword or jigsaw puzzle, try a new food, go to a different restaurant, in other words, change up that routine to stimulate the brain. There are many ways to change it up if one looks.

This blog is just a summary of a lot of research I'm doing and not the whole story. Also no matter what there are exceptions to ANY rules. The medical field has done a great job of keeping my Father alive, however the great man and family leader no longer resides in his body. Where did he go? He was always a very proud man who now has been stripped of his dignity completely. At some point when dementia starts, if steps aren't taken early on, it is NOT reversable anymore.

If my Dad didn't have fantastic insurance I don't believe the medical field would have kept him alive but he is like a meal ticket for lack of better wording so he lives. His life isn't horrible because my Mom & the caretaker takes excellent care of him, someone that doesn't have this kind of care - oh I can't think about how awful that is. I know in nursing homes there are many patients in a wheelchair just staring and drooling blankly in the halls. You actually have to navigate between the wheel chairs. There is no life in their eyes yet their lungs are breathing in and out and the medical staff is getting paid. I don't believe Japan or India suffer as much as Western Europe and America in brain decline.

I was taught to be a proud American and maybe compared to some countries we are but compared to some others we aren't. My opinion is the Sugar Industry is the satanic symbol of the anti-christ and has won most people's hearts or controlled their brains with sugar addiction. The sugar industry wins the battle when the FDA ruled that percentaqes of how much nutrition is in a product. Look at an ingredient list on any food product and you will see the amount of Calories with a percentage amount of daily values. The same percentage shows for fiber, or carbs. But when you get to the sugar there is NO percentage. That's because the sugar industry fought and won. That stinks out loud when sugar has so much power they don't have to obey the rules. If an industy is hell bent on power knowing it is hurting it's people hardly makes me proud to be from that country. I'm very disappointed in America and don't know if any leader has ever really cared. The only one I saw make an attempt was Michelle Obama with our children but the other side of her political party blew a gasket.

I wish more people would take charge of their lives and quit believing in doctors blindly. It is not in their interest for you to be well.

Have you thought of what would it be if
you were the same age when you were so active in everything?

You are in a stage where you want to bring back the real you to life. You might have had a tough time till now and coping up with it would have been difficult but there is always a way to get out of it if you are willing.
Focus on the brighter aspects of life, Keep yourself engaged. Meet new people, spend time with friends and family, focus on accomplishing career growth and most importantly give yourself time everyday and talk to yourself, positive talks, The way you talk to yourself can make a huge difference.
This can help you

Anyone have the twitter link please?..................


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and non parents as well. What are the differences between raising girls and boys? An old Joke about the latter, is it's much easier, because then you only have one dong to worry about. Never had boys myself, but they might be easier, for lots of reasons.