Most Viewed Family Blogs (545)

....corresponding to those in a sense of responsibility. Just was at the ex's, checking her vintage vehicle for an upcoming 600 mile trip to visit her family. We are both the oldest of many siblings, and with time parents are leaving us, so we were named estate executors/principal trustees. Sort of an old school decision on parents' part.
So very old school, that in both families, through hard work, they were able to acquire some rental property, to help with retirement, and to pass on to the kids. Some might say white privilege, as well, until they take a look at the realities of large working class families. Neither of us, both health care professionals, who have been in the roughest clinical trenches, the military and so on, could have done the same. Digressing once more.
Even without the family curse of the drink, there tends to be a fair amount of dysfunction in some such nuclear families. And in our honored administrative tasks, we're seeing our share.
Years ago, when many deals were sealed with a handshake, and renters were often friends, and even family, a damage deposit, first and last prepaid month's rent, and a lease, were often the exception in such circumstances. To make this short, in spite of free or low rent, every thoughtless act as tenants seems to come up. Arrears on rent, lots of damage, unannounced midnight moves and leaving things still there, drug sales in the apartment, police visits for same, and much more.
I know more modern and woke landlords are evolving with the sad changes in the times. But all the shenanigans bring anxiety and tears to the 93 YO one remaining great granny parent, Yet no one seems to want to change old ways.
Fairness in helping out is appropriate. But being mindful of the need to let go a little, and to realize our limits, sometimes have their places.

from university summer jobs start soon. First real jobs. Check out at our food cooperative. Pretty cushy gigs, if one can find them. I began work for pay to help family budget at around age ten, Saturdays, in season, veggie picking on local Azorean Portuguese farmers' truck farms, 35 cents US for a ful basket of greeen beans, but it migh tave been 50. All the stale bubble wrapped pastries on the truck we could eat, to and from the job. Free expired date food for the pigs. And a paper route soon there after. Are times diffrent for our kids, at least in paradise countries? Memoir fodder, all. Aa.

In a world where everyone is so ugly to each other I feel like reporting something beautiful at least it is to my heart. My Dad who has survived two Hospice situations, lived in a rehab for almost 2 years, fell out of bed twice once needing a hip replacement during the GD lockdown is still hanging in there. Mom went through hell getting him home but she did it and a nurse comes daily to help Dad, in and out of bed, to bathe and eat.

Yesterday when I was there, I bent over to kiss him and ask, "Daddy you know who I am?"
him "Well you called me Daddy, so..."
me "yeah that was a hint, do you know my name"
him...he sees my dog and says, "Bella"
me "Dad you know my dog but not me?"
He locks eyes with me and smiles a smile that just melts my heart - even though his elevator is stuck between floors.

Lately his blood pressure is swinging up and down. Mom called emergency services but they wanted to take him to the ER - she said no - she doesn't want him near all the covid patients, I thought that was a good call. A doctor comes to the house and redoes his meds but if he dies at home, so be it. That is what he wanted before he lost his mind, was to die at home. Mom seems to be at peace with that too.

The CUTE thing to report is that Mom and Dad still hold hands and it is the cutest thing to see. I've seen it all my life but there is a whole lot more beauty and love watching those two withered hands hold each other and r
adiate their love. At least Dad recognizes Mom completely.

So, I've been getting a lot of phone calls from my doctor's office about the situation I am in. They assigned me a case worker, who genuinely seems to care about what had happened and is trying to help me. But the biggest thing that is bothering me is I am just trying to get my life together without doing harm to anyone elses life. I don't want what transpired to turn into a legal case against the other half. I don't. I just wanted to make a clean break from it all and to be able to get my Dr appointments set up and not get attacked for the sheer pleasure of someone's ego being hurt. I'm not one to ever condone violence in a relationship ever. I am a firm believer in if it gets to that point it's already gone to far for too long. I understand I have issues that stem from staying because I believed what I was told time and again that nobody else would want me. I get that I stayed for the sake of another's children's security. I completely understand that I'm not blameless in the bickering. But when it came to the violence, I don't care who thinks what in this world. I didn't do it. Nor will I take blame for instigating it. Because each and every violent act stemmed from one thing and that was me trying to leave because there was no point in staying when in the only one who held those vows true to my heart and my actions showed it. Even if I were stupid in forgiving the same things over and over in the hopes of life becoming right. It never did and I'm still sorry for it not working out. I still wish peace to the other half and hope with every fiber of my being that they get the help they need. Like my profile says, I just need to talk and get it out. Even the Dr says to stay away and that's no problem. I have my job and I am content in doing my job. It's hard to take care of my health with the lack of options for healthy food, but I do my best. I am young as many point out. But to hear my full story, one would only wonder if I am just a glutton for punishment. And in some cases, yes I am. I knew better. But when the road less traveled is free and clear and the wide path leads to damnation, I'd rather take the one full of danger at every turn because it builds a strong mind even if it takes away the will. My own mother told me for years I have an old soul and I was destined for more than the mundane. I just never knew it meant for me to be torn apart by the vindictive behavior of others. I have truly traveled the country and parts of the world in search of adventure and knowledge. I never had the ability to settle down and I have plenty of regret because of that. But, it has made me who I am today. I'm not a wolf in sheep's clothing. I'm not a sheep following the masses. I'm not a lion with a heart of savagery fearing nothing. I am but a man who is lost in the madness of life and struggling with an inner turmoil that I am hoping to be able to turn into redemption. I wish nothing but peace and love and happiness and many blessings upon the world good or bad. Enemy or friend. If I didn't, could I really appreciate life itself? When others cringe at the sound of a crying babe in the middle of the market, with a poor over taxed mother apologizing for what life is, I just smile and say it's ok. Because why should the sound of life be something to cringe from? It should be celebrated. In all its glory it should be celebrated. When the poor are sitting there in their misery, I don't hold my cash and turn my head I share because if I didn't, wouldn't I be the same as who put them in that place? They should be lifted up and fed and cherished, because if not for their pain and suffering, we would not appreciate our own blessings. I am almost out of characters to finish my thoughts, so I leave you all with this..... I wish for a better life, I wish for a family of my own, I wish for the sound of children with my blood coursing through their veins, and I wish peace and love to this entire world because without you all I wouldn't be me. DJD

...Born a male? Your chances historically, and almost exclusively today, of active participation in land combat warfare and all THAT entails, are set at birth. Sure, there have been exceptions, as with the IDF and more recently with Kurdish female units, but no one can deny these facts, although watch a few try. And so it is with being female. Males are muscularly more robust, and likely smarter tactically, not to mention in terms of bravery, so they carry sword and shield. Don't hold you breath for the girls to meet the brutes in real contact sports on the pitch any time soon. Rugby, hockey, boxing, American football, anyone? Or for REAL military units, as with our US Marines, Rangers, SEALS, etc., to bow to PC liberal fads any time soon. Females are typically built for a different purpose, which includes the supreme privilege and RESPONSIBILITY of bearing and nursing young. Both genders, of course, have always had a role, each evolutionarily different, in rearing the little ones. And so it goes. Different biology, different life roles. So when (only some few) women insist that their "rights" to control their own bodies somehow TRUMP those of natural womanhood, it's at once the height of many things silly. Fear of pregnancy, the birthing process, laziness with regard to available contraception, hate of children, and so on. None come near to cavalierly rejecting and denying true womanhood. You can participate in the grand illusion that somehow CFM is perfectly OK, and without many risks of it own, But you can't fool the rest of us. And you must stare into that cracked mirror daily.

It's been a few years since I visited my brother in Dayton, Ohio.
The last time was for the funeral of his wife, about 4 years ago.
I was running out of excuses and got on a plane and made the trip. I got to see nieces, nephews and their kids. Today it was happy times for all of us.
We left hot humid weather in South Florida and the first day here was highs in the 80's with low humidity. Tonight it's 67 which would be considered winter in my hometown.

I'm here for the weekend and have a list of 'things to do, places to go and people to see' that includes the aircraft museum with it's iMAX theater and 3D movies.

we bought a puppy for my son

Seems everything in life has trade offs so one just has to take the bad with the good. Luckily I've been told many times throughout life that I can find good in any bad situation. I like that compliment.

I know how lucky I am to still have both parents, especially for putting up with all the challenges us kids put them through. I'm also learning that trying to help them in their aged years is an honor and a chore.

Minor example; I love to cook, however I'm finding it is difficult to cook fairly bland and to make enough so there isn't any leftovers as they don't do leftovers. They have always had them but all us kids would go by and grab those leftovers throught the years, we loved them. I don't want left overs of bland food so I'm trying to cook differently than I'm used too. Challenge and figuring out what to fix is another challenge.

Today I'm going to make mango/strawberry smoothies for their lunch because having mango and strawberries in the freezer. I need to work on the foods from two households as Mom must have been grocery shopping before the accident and both our households were full. So have to plan meals around what is going to go bad first. Challenge.

Seeing Mom getting better, she now has the strength to walk on her own, just slowly. Blessing. Bone doctor put her shoulder in a different sling and gave her some therapy exercises as it is now frozen. Pain & Agony.

Repair man is on his way to fix heat/ac unit. Life is good. I love my home and being in it, near to the folks. I spent much of my life on the other side of the country, was a little home sick but truth be known I hate this state EXCEPT in winter when I love it.

Love Hate relationships? I love/hate my state and I love/hate technology but I LOVE LOVE my dog.

I'm not a football fan (I was when my son played though) but I come from a strong football loving family. Mom, Dad and my baby sister have long held season tickets. Of course Mom and Dad had to give theirs up when old age started stripping life from them.

Tampa's team is the Buccaneers and Tampa is hosting the Super Bowl. Ironically the Buccaneers are playing in the Bowl. The Bucks color is orange. I will always have the memory of anytime I visited my folks they would always be dressed a like in supporting the Bucks on TV.

I don't know how long football has been going on but my folks were at the start . Last week when the Bucks played in the playoffs they watched it together, Mom watched from home with the phone and Dad with his phone in his hospital home. One with their mind, one with a wandering mind but both experienced some joy or happiness during that short span of time. I'm sure today will be special for them.

Today is Super Bowl - I only get excited about the commercials. I bet my family is going to have a specially fun day and if the Bucs win - not only my family but this whole town is going to be Mardi Gras HAPPY.

I just may throw myself a tailgate party while I watch a movie during the bowl.