Most Liked HowTo Blogs (280)

Dr. Map is available to answer all your questions, from problem Bears in your garden, to tuning a Webber twin Carb, relationships and general woes and agony questions, from Sex to medical and your mutton curry issues.
All questions answered, don’t be shy, I’m here to help.

I hear so many women complaining about how unloved they are. How their significant others are clueless on how to satisfy them. Even more surprising are their frustrations when their man cannot bring them to climax. It's very easy to satisfy your woman. You see, after licking her entire body from head to toe. Including placing your tongue between her a** and licking it. Nice, Slow. Methodical strokes. Then, proceed to licking her pu**y. Alongside both lips then, slowly with long strokes. From her a** all the way to her cl*t. Lick the cl*t softly, suck it, pressing you tongue atop it with a bit of pressure. Take two fingers n gently press against her vaginal wall, immediately inside her pu**y. Then, listen to her moans n screams. She might even squirt in you.

To turn your head is so
Out of the realm of my reality
Knowing this, I'll take it, willingly
As I share stories and you inhale
Willingly
You are a mystery, my favorite genre

You pass without turning your head
I watch and admire
The time apart is fruitful
I think of a peach, it's sweet smell
Soft against my cheek, I hold with reverence
Just one taste would be enough but always room for more

You turned my head
With kind gestures, distracted me
From scary monsters ready to pounce
My guard, trespassed, welcomely
I offered a seat
On an ancient couch touched by only 2 others

This time of year we remember those persons who are no longer viable; we welcome those newly viable persons to celebrate their first season to be jolly.

Gifts allegedly made by vertically challenged non gender specific persons are placed under a holiday tree adorned with colourful multi-cultural decorations.

Non-affiliated Reindeer, one nasally challenged lay peacefully in a neutral diorama that was once called a nativity scene prior to becoming offensive, lyrics of songs of the past are now seen as racially insensitive and we now simply nod at each other while sipping on a glass of non-alcoholic egg and lactate based beverages, Long gone is the scent of roasting Turkey bird, replaced by a vegetarian nut loaf made from organic and free range non guilt complex forming ingredients.

Mistletoe is now banned due to the unwanted invasions of personal space with the sole purpose of s*xual assault against the opposite gender.

As midnight approaches the tension increases, the great genial non gender specific bearded person requests permission to enter private abodes by way of chimneys, archaic pieces of coal for the bad and gifts for the good are placed under the holiday tree, provided this person is left a small token of non-alcoholic sherry or a non-animal suet based pie our genderless giver will be happy.

Happy Holidays

How would i say "when i am old enough i will find some love"...Maybe It's funny words. I am feeling wonder I still get a change or not?

When we finally get to meet the women of our dreams we are often disappointed because the object in our dreams is not quite as she described herself in her profile. Now don’t get me wrong; I not saying that women are liars, they just speak a different language than men and we often interpret their jargon incorrectly. Please note that I’m not blaming the women for this, the problem is with us.

Ok ladies, this is where you get off the bus; this is for men only. If you read on, it will be at your own risk because this may get vulgar. Don’t complain about it later.

And now that the ladies have left us, I’ll try to give you guys a few guidelines on how to read female profiles. I cannot go through all of it but here are a few good examples of the phrases/words they use in their profiles to describe themselves and what they really mean. If the time permits we can look at what they expect in a partner at afterwards.

When they say – It actually translates to
Accommodating – I take in boarders
Athletic Body – I can lick you any day, so watch your step
Caring – I’m looking after my sickly mother who lives in
Decent – I only curse when it slips out.
Elegant – I usually overdress and overdo make-up
Enjoy good food – I expect to be treated on expensive meals
Flexible – I don’t really know what I want
Friendly – I’m a flirt
Good Humored – I like to hear new dirty jokes
Good Looking – I can see well without specs
Healthy Body – I’m HIV positive but on ARVs
Honest – I only lie when I have to
Like Traveling – I commute to work every day
Literate – I passed Grade 4
Love Animals – I hate men
Modest – I m not a good conversationalist
No Mental Issues – I just blame it all to PMS
Religious – You won’t have sex with me until you promise to marry me
Sensitive – I have a short temper
Serious – I cannot take a joke
Sociable – I play the field
Sophisticated – I drink cheap wine out of fancy glasses
Understanding – I speak several languages
Well Informed – I gossip all the time
Well Read – I have a lot of comic books
Witty – I know a lot of dirty jokes

Sorry guys, we’ll have to cut this short. I think our private meeting had been infiltrated because I can smell Malaysian cupcakes and Irish home baked scones.

Memorize these phrases and their true meanings and you will understand their profiles so much better. I hope it helps.


And as always, you don’t have to pay me for this most valuable advice. I render it as a free service in order to promote a better understanding between the genders.

In the unlikely event that anyone would like to reply to Lee's rant, this is the place to do it.

Outburst No.1
Yes it seems like a simple thing to do, but sometimes they pose as a regular poster, someone who wants to just have a laugh and join in, but in time their true agenda is revealed and they start to attack others with personal attacks and they always try to justify their wicked ways to everyone…they will play the role of the harmless victim, while at the same time throwing disgusting insults at their target….

They start to stalk their target and try to provoke them, but some targets are smart, have seen it all before and learned from the experience, so those trolls must walk with their devil tails between their legs, because their spineless tactics don’t work….

..Don’t let them get into your head, don’t allow them to feed off your reactions, your angry reply posts is like gold in their hands, your emotional outbursts are like heaven in their hands, because they do want to break you down and make you blow a gasket….
They want you to be their puppet and be able to pull your strings, anytime they want to, so watch out for their tactics….

Please let me hear your opinions.

Is it right to add, Late Mr. So and so & Mrs. Cordially invites........

I am not sure. It doesn't sound right. It's a happy occasion. Do we have to bring up the sad situation that my daughter's father is no more? It's sad alright.

If I put only the couple's names, Miss abcd and Mr. Efgh cordially invite...

Do they sound like orphans?

I can hear some outside views on this matter.

No jokes please. This is serious.


Thank you!

............

But will it work you ask? See for yourself.



With any caliber upper you wish to make or buy to stick on it.

Gun registration, a moronic 19th century solution to a 21st century problem.

Ban people, not trees or guns!