Dr. Maps Advice - All Questions answered

Dr. Map is available to answer all your questions, from problem Bears in your garden, to tuning a Webber twin Carb, relationships and general woes and agony questions, from Sex to medical and your mutton curry issues.
All questions answered, don’t be shy, I’m here to help.
Post Comment

Comments (110)

Dear Dr. Map,

How do I make my Arty to eat them yummilicious chicken feet, succulent sea cucumber, nourishing bird's saliva aka bird's nest and delicious fish head?

Please help.....help I just wanna make my Arty more Chinese without resorting to taping his eyes up with cellophane tape.. uh oh
Mimi, This is a conundrum, Arts stomach is unable to digest such delicacies due to the American diet, For chicken feet I suggest deep frying them and pouring Maple syrup over them (ensure the claws are removed).

Sea cucumber is often mistaken for window cleaning cloths, perhaps deep fry them and pour maple syrup over them.

Bird saliva can be mixed with peanut butter to appeal to the American digestive system, Fish heads are difficult, but flatten them with a hammer, cover in batter, deep fry and serve with maple syrup.( the eyes should be removed and used to decorate the plate with seasonal salad items.
Hello again Dr. Map,


Since the solution to all my problems can be resolved with using only one item, I guess I just gotta get myself the biggest one there is, eh? wink

Embedded image from another site
Why do married couples begin to look like each other as years go by?
Mimi, Maple syrup will solve all your problems, buying a "help me fit it in a truck" size will save you money in the long term.

Molly, Mimi would feel the same if she was subjected to your Irish national dishes like boiled tripe, We should embrace the international tastes as one day world peace may rely on it.
Geline, Married couples tend to look like each other due to apathy and laziness, wearing matching clothing occurs when this phenomena reaches the 20 year anniversaries, This may also have something to do with cross contamination of genetic material swapped between the couple over time.
Mimi!! wow

What have I ever done to you? uh oh


I'd prefer the chicken feet moping
The Durian fruit has a great taste but unfortunately sticks of sewage, It may be eaten by blocking the nostrils with plaster or cement and then covering with wet hessian.

The fruit is banned on public transport and should therefore only be consumed when drunk and in the privacy of your home.

Embedded image from another site
How tight can I feasibly make my hotpants before I develop a mooses knuckle and pass out?
Pat, Hotpant tightness and alleviation of mooses knuckle and probable fainting can easily be determined mathematically.

Tightness problem and stochastic evolution equation arising from fluctuation phenomena for interacting diffusions
is determined primarily by the hotpants material, the more dense and less elasticity would result in a higher kiloNewton of material tightness and discomfort. (P8k=1 kpk 1)

Therefore I would suggest purchasing different hotpants made from different materials and sizes, try these on and stand in front of a mirror, you will soon find a suitable pair that will allow you to strut down the street without embarrassment.
Wise choice, Molly wink

Chicken feet contain lotsa collagen.

Since my mom runs a dim sum restaurant, I get to eat them whenever I helped out in her restaurant applause




Map, the smell and taste of durian is like no other....smitten smitten smitten

Malaysia has got the best durian in the world! applause
Thank you so much, Map

I shall see if I can get an emergency order in before the weekend activities dancing
Hell Mimi, I have eaten Dim Sum

maybe I have eaten those without even knowing help
You wouldn't possibly have missed 'em, Molly grin

Embedded image from another site


I can eat 5 or more plates of those!
Map, I have checked

£55 for one

And I could get hog ties at the special rate of £12 laugh
Yes, last time I went to Malaysia, I was saddened to see so many chickens without feet. I'd just assumed it was landmines, or a ploy to make begging at the train station easier, but obviously I was incorrect in my beliefs.
Molly, go for it, those hog ties are an absolute bargain.
Pat, legless chickens are not unique to Malaysia, Ive seen many in Africa, along with legless ducks and storks, I think they were used for black magic rather than being boiled and served as a meal.

I will point out that anti chicken mines were not often used by our enemies due to heavy import tax.
Pat, did you by any chance stumble upon any headless chicken running?

Embedded image from another site
Mimi!
That's horrible blues
Molly, the chicken is very much alive!

Google 'headless chicken' ?
Gotta go now. Din din time! applause


Embedded image from another site
Chat soon, Mimi! hug
Doc I need emergency help, yesterday I was wondering around and backed up to the back side of a tree and I was Tick attacked.

Now I am afraid of coming down with Lyme disease what do I need to do.

I did put up a good fight.
Do not disturb . ..rolling on the floor laughing
Map I see you've become the site doctor /psychologist now? ×
What's happened to Dr. Blue? Got the chop did he?
daniela, Dr.Blue is on a golf playing sabbatical, he will return to his role in due course.
Role,or hole.help 9 or 18?tongue
Blimey Dr Map this is an allencompassing service you are offering.

How do I turn the clock back? About 6 years would probably do nicely.
Good evening Biffy, One must service the entire community.

To turn the clock back 6 years requires that you cross over to the dark side (temporary).

Take a jam thermometer and check the temperature near to your body, note this and then find a dark space, under the stairs or under the bed is fine, check for a much colder temperature, once located pour olive oil over your entire body and rub pink Himalayan salt vigorously everywhere, once done lay down in the colder dark place previously located and remain there for 4 to 6 hours.

After emerging shower and use baby shampoo on your hair, once dry look in the mirror and you will indeed have taken 4 to 6 years off yourself, you will be pink, shining and skin taught with youthful vigour.

For more years off simply rinse and repeat as often as required.hug
Pink rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
That's one year removed, per hour and I did this overnight.8 hrs.help heart wings Darling. Before it wears off.
Ash, Thank you for correcting me, I have been awake for many moons with man flu and not grammatically well yet.hug

As for the golf, People play to win trophies and stuff.
Embedded image from another site
Mappy, why, why, WHY did you not tell me this before I left the cold dark place behind me forever? blues
doh harmless,you promised. rolling on the floor laughing
I must put down the phone and drive....see you later.hug
Biffy, Not that kind of cold dark place, dark cupboards and under the stairs is where magical people live, its their spells plus the olive oil and salt that gets the skin TAUT (Thanks Ashlander).

On the subject, ice baths do help, and trust me when I say paint flakey skin and hair is very alluring and actually downright beautiful to see.
well the only dark cupboard under the stairs here is the dog's bedroom and she climbs out looking more wrinkled and popeyed than ever uh oh

if you like the paint-spattered DIY type your eyes would fairly pop over me right now. wow
Biffy, excuse the delay, I was on a telephone consult.

If your dog is emerging wrinkled I would assume you didn't cover him with olive oil and sea salt.

All flakey?.............on my way super
Post Comment - Let others know what you think about this Blog.
Meet the Author of this Blog
Mapmakeronline today!

Mapmaker

Inland near Jaen, Andalusia, Spain

Can we be truly honest in self-description? This is my attempt. And to ensure it has some degree of truth, I’ve asked a female friend to give her opinion also. So here goes :

ME:
I’m not rich or very good looking; I’m overweight but working on th [read more]

About this Blog

created Oct 2017
3,413 Views
Last Viewed: 5 hrs ago
Last Commented: Nov 2017
Mapmaker has 116 other Blogs

Like this Blog?

Do you like this Blog? Why not let the Author know. Click the button to like the Blog. And your like will be added. Likes are anonymous.

Feeling Creative?