For the first time in my life,
I knew what it was like to want,
To feel the unremitting pain,
To need, with my whole being,
To be so close,
Yes….. Really want,
With no hope of redemption, no chance of refrain.
You were dancing, framed in the doorway,
What you were thinking, I couldn’t for sure say,
My thoughts, Like your body movements,
Seeming uncontrolled, yet, fluid in the light,
Clearest sparkle in your eyes,
Speaking, in a way I couldn’t understand,
Yet paradoxically clear and bright,
I knew then, if, I had of a sudden been struck blind,
Instantly lost my sight,
If, You were the last thing I should ever see,
I would have been intent to endure,
Forever seeing your perfection
In my own corrupted and imperfect reflection,
In the perpetual darkness of my night.
Wretched, as I felt my gut wrench and twist,
Caressed by butterflies,
On that exquisite knot of hurt that is like a balled fist,
At peace in my torment,
The pitiful fragments of my soul almost together,
But Not……..Quite.