Last Commented Limerick Poems (107)

There once was a pig named Fred
who sadly it has to be said
was a tad overweight
and couldn't fit through the gate
so spent all his days in his bed.

Summers ending hold on

not so fast, there is still time

to enjoy while it lasts

grilling, games, sunning

and summer concerts in the eve

eating outside and walking about

don't be in a hurry enjoy while it lasts

for winter will come as we turn away

from the sun so enjoy today

for tomorrow will come

wave after wave seasons change an the winters fade into the summer sky's ,where the seagulls fly an there hunger cry's like dreamers from a different time ,where dreams never live or never die drifting away it seem far beyond the wildest dreams ,with your eyes close follow the stars nothing else to say drifting away.......

In the depiction of Disney’s “Frozen”
Such a beautiful animated scene we see
Of helping one another and caring
Just the way it ought to be

As days grow shorter and cold sets in
Loneliness may become your new friend
Just think of the newness waiting to grow
All the beautiful colors hidden below
That will bloom in the Spring
With hope of love in everything

Bide our time and use this freeze
As we think of that warmer breeze
To extend a loving hug or touch
In a world where it’s needed so very much

Santa so fat in chimney got stuck
swearing and hot he got in a muck
kicking up much soot
boot fell off his foot
that night he was sure right out of luck

Turkey, Tom Turkey displayed on the table

come all and eat me if your able

Come and taste my breast of tender white

and enjoy my meal with delight

Fest on my wings, legs and thighs

and later we will shop for the Christmas buys

There was a blonde woman from Crewe,
who thought she had quite the great clue.
She said, "Yes, I'm quite smart"
I got a great head start
Changed my clock yesterday at 2!"

Mine to Keep
Oressie Simmons


I often thought of myself as an unique character, where events in my life were just a tab bit sadder.


No one could ever know such pain; no one could ever have a sadder story quite the same.


For who knows about tragedy of a sudden heart break or the timid steps to recovery one must take.


Yes,there is no one out there quite like me and I often ask myself and we agree.


Because no one understands the feeling to lose someone you love or how superficial hobbies may be there as their sub.


For who knows about being turned down from employment while all the time thinking this opportunity was heaven sent.


Yes,there is no one that could ever experience these feelings for I am the only unique human being living.

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......

Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

Its Called therapy.

I WON A POETRY CONTEST© by Barbara Cronin Harrington

I entered a contest, surprised I had won
Along with another thousand and yet some.
Only $50.00 to buy the leather bound book,
With my poem in it was to be the hook.

Proud t'was I to see my poem in print
Before I recovered, a new email was sent
With yet another offer…my name upon a plaque
Only $70 was the cost… but quickly must I act.

But that was not the end of it,
My poem was put to sound
On tapes, CDs and books galore
For just a hundred dollars more.

Though the price was mighty high
The benefits were worth the try
I'd read my winning poem aloud
amid a cheering thunderous crowd

Before I could respond and write a big fat check,
There was still more… the biggest yet,
News so great, it was music to my ear
I was now named Poet Of The Year.

And this is the winning poem…

I went for a pizza and to my delight
Stood Elvis before me, all rhinestones in white
Stunned, I was speechless but finally said,
"My God, Mister Presley, I heard you were dead!"

"How rumors do fly," the pelvis did say,
"I had it with work, so I just slipped away
Got tired of show biz, cavorting and swinging
Of women and booze and carousing and singing."

"Off went my sideburns, my hair I dyed white
Went on a diet until fifty pounds light
Wore a gray flannel suit that came with a vest
And sat in the park, as birds will attest."

"I soon became bored and worse than that, broke
For I needed to work and that was no joke
Filled with depression, my destiny blue
Until I remembered what best I could do."

"My swivel and wiggle reborn with a grin
When my pasta is tossed in the air with a spin,
My spirits elated, I no longer feel low,
So now I make pizza...I'm rolling in dough."


EPILOGUE

Shocked was I to see this guy
Who some believe had long gone by,
Rumors abound that the hipster t’were found
And he wasn't six feet underground

Twas just by luck, for the very first time
That I should learn of a contest to join
So I entered Elvis, and would you believe won,
Along with a hundred thousand and then some.