minor children involved? appropriate time to blend households? (96)
mindfful: you do it for me
i already resurrected like 2 or 3 of 'my' threads today
i dont wanna hear any crap about it-
i already resurrected like 2 or 3 of 'my' threads today
i dont wanna hear any crap about it-
haha I will
You 2, are 2 of the ladies I was speaking of and I do think of both as ladies..
Hell, I would bet both of you wouyld be worth the wait.. Just an old man's opinion though..
Hell, I would bet both of you wouyld be worth the wait.. Just an old man's opinion though..
HJFinAZ: You 2, are 2 of the ladies I was speaking of and I do think of both as ladies..
Hell, I would bet both of you wouyld be worth the wait.. Just an old man's opinion though..
Hell, I would bet both of you wouyld be worth the wait.. Just an old man's opinion though..
Awww.. haha I'm not sure about the ladies bit tho
Claayer: Awww.. haha I'm not sure about the ladies bit tho
I am!!
if/when i ever get involved again, i'll introduce my partner to the kids as a 'friend'. i'd try to avoid having her stay over when the kids are here (2-3 nights per week) and gradually get them used to her over a period then take it from there. my boys have had enough upheaval in their lives without getting used to having someone around just to lose her again. unlike my ex who introduced them to her new b/f before she'd even moved out 
162 views
37 posts
5 votes
i never was a good saturday nighter
37 posts
5 votes
i never was a good saturday nighter
mindfful: 162 views
37 posts
5 votes
i never was a good saturday nighter
37 posts
5 votes
i never was a good saturday nighter
And one abstention...
mindfful: i never was a good saturday nighter
I find that VERY hard to believe...
While I agree with pretty much everything that has been previously stated here, let me tell you my own story;
My <former> stepson is now 21 and serving in Iraq. His mother and I had been highschool sweethearts, but had moved away and each married other people. We got back together when we were both on the rebound from failed first marriages and our 'courtship' was brief and intense and she and the boys (he has a brother 4 years older than him) moved into my home after a few months and we were married a couple of months later. The marriage lasted 7 years and ended a few months after 'Marc' moved to Oregon to live with his biological father so he could attend highschool in a larger town with more opportunities.
'Marc' and I got back in touch, via phone, a couple of years ago and I found out in early January that, when he comes back from his tour of duty, he wants - after a visit to Tennessee - to move back to Kansas, the state he considers "home." When I mentioned that I knew of a "fixer-upper" place in Walker that he could have "really cheap," he told me that when he thinks of "home" it's my old place in Walker that he dreams of. When I told him that the elm tree seedling we planted in the yard when he was 10 as part of Arbor Day was now 20 feet tall, he got misty eyed and said something about "I wonder how long it'll be before I could hang a tire swing from it, like you did with the Mulberry tree?"
Long and short - My marriage to his mother - though definitely not a mistake - was ill fated from the beginning because she never really loved anyone but herself. 'Marc' knows this and even apologized once for his mother's behaviour. (accepted but not necessary) And - even though his mother and I "rushed" things - 'Marc' has turned out to be a fine and respectable young man. And at the risk of patting myself on the back, I'd like to think that I had quite a bit to do with it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes children can benefit from having a 'step-parent'. Especially if that parent is polite and respectful and capable of teaching those and other qualities to the children. 'Marc' told me, back last fall, that "Ya know... I call my dad, "Dad" and I call you by your name... But it feels kinda backwards that way..."
My <former> stepson is now 21 and serving in Iraq. His mother and I had been highschool sweethearts, but had moved away and each married other people. We got back together when we were both on the rebound from failed first marriages and our 'courtship' was brief and intense and she and the boys (he has a brother 4 years older than him) moved into my home after a few months and we were married a couple of months later. The marriage lasted 7 years and ended a few months after 'Marc' moved to Oregon to live with his biological father so he could attend highschool in a larger town with more opportunities.
'Marc' and I got back in touch, via phone, a couple of years ago and I found out in early January that, when he comes back from his tour of duty, he wants - after a visit to Tennessee - to move back to Kansas, the state he considers "home." When I mentioned that I knew of a "fixer-upper" place in Walker that he could have "really cheap," he told me that when he thinks of "home" it's my old place in Walker that he dreams of. When I told him that the elm tree seedling we planted in the yard when he was 10 as part of Arbor Day was now 20 feet tall, he got misty eyed and said something about "I wonder how long it'll be before I could hang a tire swing from it, like you did with the Mulberry tree?"
Long and short - My marriage to his mother - though definitely not a mistake - was ill fated from the beginning because she never really loved anyone but herself. 'Marc' knows this and even apologized once for his mother's behaviour. (accepted but not necessary) And - even though his mother and I "rushed" things - 'Marc' has turned out to be a fine and respectable young man. And at the risk of patting myself on the back, I'd like to think that I had quite a bit to do with it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes children can benefit from having a 'step-parent'. Especially if that parent is polite and respectful and capable of teaching those and other qualities to the children. 'Marc' told me, back last fall, that "Ya know... I call my dad, "Dad" and I call you by your name... But it feels kinda backwards that way..."
can't really vote on your poll.......like it's been said there is not a definite time frame.....given what you know about my oldest child, i have been very careful with my "relationships" he's met 3.....one i was married to who gave me his brother(but i was young and stupid and let him in too soon) the next one was many years later......and he forced his way into their life without my consent.......the last one didn't even meet my kids until about 3 months in and then he met them as a friend of mine and my roommate......then another 3 months or so before they met him as my "date"..........seeing how my oldest adapted the first time around i've always been careful because even at his age he's a lil too eager for a dad and kinda clingynow i just don't date
Aww thats lovely Kansan.. and I do agree that if it's the right kind of person it can be great for the children.
(Does Kansan mean someone from Kansas?.. I'm stoopid
)
(Does Kansan mean someone from Kansas?.. I'm stoopid
)StarliteFantazy: can't really vote on your poll.......like it's been said there is not a definite time frame.....given what you know about my oldest child, i have been very careful with my "relationships" he's met 3.....one i was married to who gave me his brother(but i was young and stupid and let him in too soon) the next one was many years later......and he forced his way into their life without my consent.......the last one didn't even meet my kids until about 3 months in and then he met them as a friend of mine and my roommate......then another 3 months or so before they met him as my "date"..........seeing how my oldest adapted the first time around i've always been careful because even at his age he's a lil too eager for a dad and kinda clingynow i just don't date
Hellooooo AaaMeeee SquAmeeeee
Claayer: Hellooooo AaaMeeee SquAmeeeee
helloooooooooooooo (why do i picture Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire every time i see that???)StarliteFantazy: helloooooooooooooo (why do i picture Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire every time i see that???)
hahha I dunno but I'm a huuuuuge Robin Williams fan
anywayyy.. why are you up and about at this crazy time??
Oh I meant to say on my post.. I have to do all that with my kids.. because they have bigger imaginations than me!.. and would have the roses around the door and us sliding up the aisle in no time. 
Claayer: Aww thats lovely Kansan.. and I do agree that if it's the right kind of person it can be great for the children.
(Does Kansan mean someone from Kansas?.. I'm stoopid )
(Does Kansan mean someone from Kansas?.. I'm stoopid )
Thanks Claire.
Yes it does - especially in my case - and no you're not.
The_Kansan: Thanks Claire.
Yes it does - especially in my case - and no you're not.
Yes it does - especially in my case - and no you're not.
Ahhh.. thankyou. I've been meaning to ask you that for ages.
Claayer: hahha I dunno but I'm a huuuuuge Robin Williams fan
anywayyy.. why are you up and about at this crazy time??
anywayyy.. why are you up and about at this crazy time??
you tell me and we'll both know dunno just not sleeping well these daysyour very smart about the way you handle things with your kids........i always hated watching ppl introduce a different "uncle" to their kids every week.........swore i would never do that(and never have)
josh is the one who would have me runnin up the aisle with just about any one i dated.......that's why he never met them
StarliteFantazy: you tell me and we'll both know dunno just not sleeping well these days
your very smart about the way you handle things with your kids........i always hated watching ppl introduce a different "uncle" to their kids every week.........swore i would never do that(and never have)josh is the one who would have me runnin up the aisle with just about any one i dated.......that's why he never met them
your very smart about the way you handle things with your kids........i always hated watching ppl introduce a different "uncle" to their kids every week.........swore i would never do that(and never have)josh is the one who would have me runnin up the aisle with just about any one i dated.......that's why he never met them
Yep.. I haaaate that.. and soo soo so unfair tot he children.. I have a few buddies like that.. (men and women)... and their poor kids get so confused
Claayer: Yep.. I haaaate that.. and soo soo so unfair tot he children.. I have a few buddies like that.. (men and women)... and their poor kids get so confused
confused and terribly hurt, just not fair at all
StarliteFantazy: confused and terribly hurt, just not fair at all
One of my friends had some come and stay over on Christmas Eve.. When they got up in the morning.. she smuggled him out of the window.. but the kids saw him.. and asked who he was (they were only young then)... she told them it was Father Christmas..
Must have looked quite funny though because he had a broken leg and was on crutches.
SomeONE*
Claayer: One of my friends had some come and stay over on Christmas Eve.. When they got up in the morning.. she smuggled him out of the window.. but the kids saw him.. and asked who he was (they were only young then)... she told them it was Father Christmas..
Must have looked quite funny though because he had a broken leg and was on crutches.
Must have looked quite funny though because he had a broken leg and was on crutches.
oh my...........well at least she had a semi plausible(hey look i can use big words with no sleep 
go me)excusei could never see me doing that......to me Christmas is just for me and my boys........i've only shared it with their fathers and one other ........i take my time with my kids too seriously to play head games like that with them
It's lovely that they have that attitude Flower.. and absolutely right that you are all only a quick plane hop from each other.
and I love that picture.. you both look so happy.. (and) you look soo gorgeous!
Claayer: It's lovely that they have that attitude Flower.. and absolutely right that you are all only a quick plane hop from each other.
and I love that picture.. you both look so happy.. (and) you look soo gorgeous!
and I love that picture.. you both look so happy.. (and) you look soo gorgeous!
Hugz_n_Kissez: True...Not to mention...if I don't know him well...How are my kids going to...So I would have to say it would be a substantial time frame...Getting to really know someone is not a short process...
To protect my children, I am just talking about my kids here other's may feel differently, but I think at least 4-6 months of getting to know someone before they even MEET my kids. Of course my ex feels differently but that's on him.
Last time he went on a date he went out one night and came home and told me he was going to take the kids on a date with her in 2 days. Thankfully she told him she didn't want to see him again so my kids weren't traumatized.
HJFinAZ: No "NEVER" option... My kids are raised and gone..
Me too thank goodness.
Everybody here seems to be giving sensible answers, wait until you're sure etc etc....but so many times I've met kids who have been introduced to a succession of 'uncles' and are very unhappy.
At the very least, it is very unsettling for them.
I have no magic answers because it's not something I have ever had to think about.
Hi MF
that's why god created boarding schools and military academies!!
..It's what I do!!
..It's what I do!!shipoker55: that's why god created boarding schools and military academies!! ..It's what I do!!
Do they still have boarding schools these days?More Threads
Kultur-multur
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- Kultur-multur
- Democrats destroyed America
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- More Proof The GOP is a Criminal Organization
- Unions support Democrats!
- Would you hire this guy - for any job?
- The GOP Representatives owned by Vladimir Putin
- s*xual skills
- Ladies
- Why is this shameful?
i already resurrected like 2 or 3 of 'my' threads today
i dont wanna hear any crap about it-