I let other people put the divider between out groceries. Yeah wash your hands after having been to the toilet then open the door grrrrrrrrrr. Shopping card ugh too many things are like that. Take money how dirty is That? The list is endless.
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating to reveal. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a dozy to explain the bandage on my crown. In this case, the truth hurt.
I mean it really hurt in the place men feel the most pain. The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.
As the daily routine prescribes, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Ed!" she hearkened. "The garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it." "You know where the button is." I protested through the shower pitter-patter. "Reset it yourself!" "I am scared!" She pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" Pause. "C'mon, it'll only take a second." No logical assurance about how a disposal can't start itself will calm the fears of a person who suffers from "Big-ol-scary-machinephobia," a condition brought on by watching too many Stephen King movies.
It is futile to argue or explain, kind of like Lloyd Bentsen telling Americans they are over-taxed. And if a poltergeist did, in fact, possess the disposal, and she was ground into round, I'd have to live with that the rest of my life. So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence but it was I who would suffer.
I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances.
Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. it was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs. She ("Buttons" aka "the Grater) had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.
Now when men feel pain or even sense danger anywhere close to their masculine region, they lose all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements. Instinctively, their nerves compel the body to contort inwardly, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed. Not even a well trained monk could calmly stand with his groin supporting the full weight of a kitten and rectify the situation in a step-by-step procedure. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome; men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option.
Fleeing straight up, I knew at that moment how a cat feels when it is alarmed. It was a dismal irony. But, whereas cats seek great heights to escape, I never made it that far. The sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while suppressing their hysterical laughter. My wife told me I should be flattered.
At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"
I wonder where we pick up some of our idiosyncrasies where did it begin and why?
My dad always told me that I could ask more questions then 10 wise men could answer. Well daddy how else did I get to be so wise? By asking questions lol
Does wanting to be "different" count? Is that abnormal? If the anwser is yes then I have another problem. Oh boy I just know I am in for it now. Lol just another attention getter.
You are a brave one to come here all by your lonesome self. Only those with idiosyncracies can join the club so you qualify. I used to do a lot of counting to six or twelves, lost that one along the way
Original message Can You Read This? - A Cambridge University Research Advertisements Do you have a strange mind?
Cna yuo raed tihs? if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid, too.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulatcly uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Azanmig hhu? Yaeh, and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
Only you can KNOW that answer, but now you will not be able to sleep not knowing and you know That is true. I won't tell now as you had your chance lol
Sometimes I can not fall over ha ha so just stand there for awhile. In the mean time attracting more attention and it that not why I do it in the first place? Of course it is lol VBG
Now ask me what V B G stands for and I may tell you.
Are you VERY sure I am normal, so I don't need to get help with this? Oh thank you I feel a bit more normal already. You are a friend for sure for helping me with this.
Several men are in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues:
"Hello?"
"Honey, It's me."
"Sugar!"
"Are you at the club?"
"Yes."
"Great! I'm at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?"
"What's the price?"
"Only $1,500."
"Well, okay, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much."
"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2007 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."
"What price did he quote you?"
"Only $60,000!"
"Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options."
"Great! Before we hang up, something else..."
"What?"
"It might seem like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...well, I stopped by to see the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beachfront property...
"How much are they asking?"
"Only $450,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
"Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000, OK?"
"Okay, sweetie. Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
"Bye."
The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and asks aloud, "Does anyone know to whom this phone belongs?"
I hear some men saying when women get older they become hard. I find this very unfair. I try very hard to always try to put my feet into their shoes. I leave myself open for new hurts all the time but I can not do otherwise. Yes I have had my heart stumped on too and more than ones. I do not want to put up a shield.
I never liked making the first move but have found that men are more afraid of rejection. Hey had that happen to me too but never blamed the next guy for what the last one did wrong. I always start over.
There is a blonde on a plane to New York. She is sitting in the first class section, but her ticket says that she should be in the coach section. A flight attendant realizes the blonde's mistake and asks her politely to move. The blonde won't move. All she says is, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
The flight attendant goes and tells all of the other flight attendants. They all try to persuade the blonde to move, but she won't move. All she says is, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
The flight attendants go and tell the pilot about the obnoxious blonde. They tell him the only thing that she says. He puts the plane on auto-pilot and whispers something in the blonde's ear.
Immediately, she gets up and moves to her normal seat. Then the pilot goes back to fly the plane. The flight attendants are all very curious about how the pilot made the blonde move so quickly.
They ask him and he says, "Oh, it was easy. All I had to do was tell her that the first class section wasn't going to New York!"
It would not work for me, I would get hurt for sure. Where I live many couples have hooked up but each stay in their own home that would not work for me either. I want to find him next to me the next morning.
hollandgirl Forum Posts (4,464)
Can you read this?............Who said spelling is imporant?.............
Ahah forgot to use a T in there. Thank you your a sweetheart.