The_Kansan Forum Posts (3,395)

RE: Joke Off tell em

And I heard about the goose who forgot to duck and wound up with quacked lips.

RE: Joke Off tell em

No but I heard about the duck who got his feet tangled up and goosed himself.

RE: What do you call an event which has not happened....YET?

I finally broke down and bought me one of them new-fangled Cellulite phones... I think I'm gonna' take it back though 'cause when I talk on it I get a fat head...

(So much for a non-event!)

RE: Joke Off tell em

A camel walks into a bar. The bartender comes over and says, "Hey guy, why the long face?"

...Wait, these are supposed to be good jokes, aren't they?

RE: Joke Off tell em

Two blondes walked into a building.


































(You'd think one of 'em would've seen it!)

RE: What do you call an event which has not happened....YET?

SEE? I told you he was ANTICIPATING it! /`~~~~~<()><

RE: What do you call an event which has not happened....YET?

...If all the zeros were stacked up in one place you'd sure have a hell of a pile of nothing...

RE: Joking vs. Being Intentionally Mean Spirited

I once knew a man who studied trigonometry until he found out nobody could speak it...

RE: What do you call an event which has not happened....YET?

I understand what you mean, Diane, but it still opens a can of worms for me.

For instance, if I were to think about the possibility of the O.P. someday out-fishing me, that would be considered a possibility or - on his part - an anticipation. (Especially so because there's a pretty good chance that it'll happen because we've fished together in the past and I look forward to fishing with him again in the future.)

On the other hand, if I were to think about the possibility of, say President Obama, someday out-fishing me, then that would be a NON-event because there's pretty much ZERO chance that it would ever happen because we're never likely (also a NON-event) to fish together.

Given that the O.P. posited that the RATE of Event is Zero, I'd still have to interpret that as meaning non-event. (And that's not to be confused with non-existant which describes my ex-wife's house cleaning skills.)

RE: What do you call an event which has not happened....YET?

Zero = None + event = event, So zero event = Non-event.



(I was gonna' toss in something about Pi r Squared, but everyone knows that Pie are round - Sheetcake and brownies are squared!)

RE: What do you call an event which has not happened....YET?

What happens in the event horizon stays in the event horizon.

RE: We Need a Wedding, Canada & the U.S.A., Mexico can be the Maid of Honour.

Thanks, Joel, I'm just calling it the way I see it.

RE: Is CS the modern equivalent of IMAGINARY FRIENDS?

Wow! I love the concept and I could easily wax poetic and prophetic here but I'll refrain and simply put it this way:

The friends I've made on CS, but have yet to meet in person, (and those I've made indirectly because of the tie-in to other members of CS) are at least as real as all of the pins in the world that I've never sat on or all the fish that I've yet to catch.

Then again, am I really sitting here typing this or just imagining it because of the really good drugs the Doc gave me yesterday for my back?


/`~~~~~~~<()><

RE: Ever had your IQ tested?

Sorry, but I've gotta' ask - Is that why your cap is backwards?

RE: The Jockey or the Horse

In horse racing and relationships, neither is more important than the other. True, if you didn't have the jockey to guide and urge the horse to it's best effort they wouldn't win the race, but it's also true that without the horse, the jockey would be just one more short person walking around in funny clothes.

I couldn't make my wonderful marriage work without equal - though different - effort from my lovely wife (whom, if you're not familiar with our story, I met here on CS!) and without my input, neither could she. We are equal but different...

We are both integral and equally important parts of the wonderful, mystical and totally amazing state of being that is our life together. And it's not "her marriage" or "his marriage" it's OUR marriage...

RE: Saying Good Bye for now

We'll have to take your word for it - If he were REALLY nice, he wouldn't ask you to leave your friends behind!

Good luck, just the same. Hope your match works out for you as well mine did for me!

All the best to both of you!

RE: "QUOTES",

Morgan

Here's another of my favorites:

" .... . -.-- --..-- / .-.. --- --- -.- / .- - / - .... .. ... / -. . .- - / -.-. --- -.. . / .. / .. -. ...- . -. - . -.. -.-.-- "

Samuel Morse

RE: Who has been on this site the longest ?

I've been on here since I was "The guy from Kansas Territory."

Seriously, in my first incarnation here, I was KsPlainsman and that was about 3 1/2 or 4 years ago. Now, I'm "The guy from Kansas who found his other half on CS and moved to Tennessee and lived happily ever after but stays around because he likes to send her virtual flowers and because of the friends he's made in the forums."

RE: "QUOTES",

Or how about:

"_________!"

Marcel Marceau

RE: "QUOTES",

"QUOTES"

Ok, I'll play!

".. .. .. ... .. .."

William Shakespeare

RE: CAPS

If you want to whisper, do it...

like this...

(Shhhh... Don't tell anyone!)

RE: ILLITERATES

Yes, but could he read?

RE: Ever had your IQ tested?

Ever had your IQ tested?

Yes. It was positive.

RE: ILLITERATES

ILLITERATES

I will have you to understand, Sir, that I am NOT illiterate! (My parents had been married for several years before I was born!)

RE: I don’t know what to do!

Uh... Make that THREE....

RE: I don’t know what to do!

Ya' caught me! I confess! It was ME, ME, ME!

I shot the feathered son of a b* because he crapped on my convertible! He drove me to it - always launching bird bombs when I drove past the square! I didn't mind so much when it was cold and I had to keep the top up, but when the weather warmed up and I took the the top down and he couldn't even show the decency to aim for the hood, but instead chose ruin my leather seats...

Forgive me... Please forgive me. I haven't used a slingshot since I was a kid and I honestly just wanted to scare him a little bit. I never dreamed that I'd actually kill the dirty little b*! But now that I have... Oh, the remorse... (Ok, remorse mixed with gleeful exuberance!)

I promise I'll never do it... Wait! Here comes another one of the stinking little flying s* machines! Hang on - Gotta' re-load...


POW! Right in the freakin' boiler room!

C'mon ya little commie b*! I've got slingshot and a pile of rocks and all day long to sit here!

Uh... Mr. CaptainBeirutIII? I think maybe you'd better go check on the crime scene - There's TWO of 'em, now!

RE: Say Something, someway, somehow to someone, but be nice.

Say Something, someway, somehow to someone, but be nice.

Damn, I'm tryin' really hard, Lela, but sometimes the nicest thing you can say about someone is that at least they don't take up too much air...

RE: New to Connecting Singles

Welcome to the asylum all you newbies!

('Course compared to me, damn near everyone here is new!)

Just a word of encouragement: CS can indeed work and mine is only one of the many, MANY success stories here.

Only two real rules you need to remember for the forums:

1. Don't sweat the small stuff.

2. It's all small stuff!

Now, pull up a stump, kick back and relax. Mostly we're all just friends here...

RE: Hear me whine....

Hiya Charli! She's doing great and getting prettier every day! And I'll agree with you - She's certainly an inspiration to me! (Anyone who can put up with my tired old butt has GOT to be pretty special!)

RE: Hear me whine....

I was like you, once (only taller) and got so discouraged that I quit looking all together. It was then that I finally found the one who was looking for me.

Kinda' like looking for a woodworking or gunsmithing tool that I've misplaced; When I quit obsessing over finding it, it usually turns up in short order.

...Doesn't always work for everyone, but it sure worked for me!

(There's pretty gals, big fish and beautiful scenery in East Tennessee - come on down and take a look!)