Falling in and out of love for some is a pattern, and we only know something is a pattern when we have done it several times. Mainly the young who cannot risk self doubt, but even in mid-life some have not gained enough ego strength to reflect on the wisdom of their choices, as they set off in search of a new beloved.
Sometimes you just have to recognise the enemy within.
The problem with projections is they are made unconsciously. If those projections are of equal strength and depth by both people, the 'in love' psychosis takes over and the roller coaster ride begins. Of course it can't last, and who would want it to? It's when those projections...(this person can save me, make my life complete, make me a better person) fail, as they will eventually, the blame game starts. And guess who gets the blame...that person who did not fulfill the expectations I loaded onto them, they were supposed be someone else...how was I to know they had their own agenda (life to live)?
You're never really 'in love' with anyone. You're only in love with your prejudiced and hopeful idea of that person.
"When we soberly review the history of our relationships, we are obliged to acknowledge they began at one place and evolved to quite another. If one could stay in that permanent state of romantic excitation I suppose one would so choose, but it's not possible. Of course joy in the Other, trust, deep caring and commitment may abide. We have a word for this continuing feeling, it is love. It's not as intoxicating or illusory as romance, but it has the potential to last."
Indeed, it's no accident that the primary motive, the hidden agenda in any relationship, is the yearning to return. It's the unconscious underpinning of the 'fascination' with a potential partner, the search to find the lost paradise of childhood.
I embraced it with all it's falsehoods. It soon goes away when confronted, and when it receives my full attention.
"Loneliness is a human condition of human life, an experience of being human which enables the individual to sustain, extend, and deepen his humanity. Efforts to overcome or escape the existential experience of loneliness can result only in self-alienation. When man is removed from a fundamental truth of life, when he successfully evades and denies the terrible loneliness of individual existence, he shuts himself off from the one significant avenue of his own self growth."
bodleing2 Forum Posts (6,132)
RE: Share what you are listening to, part 3..
Roy Harper...One Man Rock 'n' Roll Band...Wonderful live performance.