I think the word “open” is starting to get misconstrued on this thread. I did not mean it as being extrovert, or more flamboyant in showing your emotions. I meant it in the respect of being more likely to express your heartfelt, deep feelings rather than someone who is more guarded in their expression. IMO
I express what my heart tells me – good or bad. But I certainly would not consider myself an extrovert.
I totally agree "being too open is never the cause of a relationship failing". Ive never said that.
"Open people express their hurt more openly". Dont agree with that, sorry. Im open with my feelings of love, but if Im hurt I withdraw into myself, to morn,if I need to, in private. Love, anger, like, dislike - yes, Im open about it. Hurt is an emotion that requires introspection and healing..IMO
That could, if you like, also be construed as "silent suffering". Hurt is a personal, private emotion - in my own experience - suffered in silence, without moaning or whining.
I know where you are coming from, Ambrose, and I truly appreciate your thoughts. Think we are basically "singing from the same hymn sheet"; just expressing it slightly differently!
I said "Agreed", Ambrose, because I do really and truly agree that it is best to be open and honest..I only doubt it sometimes because its is often open and honest people that get hurt the most..In the scheme of things though, Id rather be true to myself and risk the hurt..
Found this on the net - quite interesting, so I thought I would post it!!
"I wouldn't go to a bakery to get advice on planting crops, and I think that the best place to get advice on men is from a man. That being said, the secret is VERY simple. Be a REAL woman. My advice doesn't apply to all men, but it DOES apply to the men you would want to have as your partner, now and forever.
Being a REAL woman is fairly simple, so without further delay, the secrets to being a woman (in a man's eyes).
1. Be Strong - When a man is ready to settle down, and wants to find a wife, the assumption is that he will most likely want you to bear children with him. That being said, who in their right mind would want a weak woman to help raise their children? We want someone we KNOW will look out for our kids, as well as keep us in line. This in no way means we want someone who is bossy. Quite the contrary, we want someone who is level headed, and doesn't need constant reassurance.
2. Have Confidence - Don't wear make-up, don't look for validation, and believe in what you do. Men don't want someone who seeks our approval. We want a woman who knows who she is. The most beautiful woman in the world can turn any man off with any number of questions resembling "Do I look fat in this dress?" The answer that is always in our head is "You tell me."
. Figure Yourself Out - A lot of people, both men and women, think that finding their significant other will complete their life. This is far from true. Only YOU can give yourself a satisfyinglife. There is much joy in sharing your life with someone, but don't expect to find out who you are because of who you are with. The strongest, most intelligent, most handsome man in the world can be your husband, and you could still be lost. If you are totally unsure of yourself, your life, and your beliefs, don't expect to be settling down anytime soon. It won't do you any good, and isn't something mature men are looking for.
4. Men Don't like Projects - We don't want to tell you what to do, how to do it, etc. That isn't to say we won't give you advice when asked, but if at all possible, men DON'T want to change you in any way. That being said, we don't want you to change us either. If you are going into a relationship, or find yourself in one for years, and feel the inkling that you can "make him better," drop that thought. It can only lead to bad places.
5. Don't Compromise Yourself - If you are ever in a relationship, or considering one, but realize you will have to give up part of who you are, then stay away. Often I see men and women falling prey to this. If you can't be yourself, you won't be happy, and you also won't be everything you should be for your mate. If you choose to give something up on your own, that is different. Whether it be smoking, drinking, or college, don't give anything up for ANYONE. Always be who you are, and in this way and this way only, can you find your perfect match.The bottom line is, love yourself for who you are, and love your man for who he is. If you can do both of these things, you will find love. More importantly, however, you will be happy. That is the most attractive quality you can have."
A Real Woman... Recognizes goodness Delights in truth and beauty Respects herself and other people Stands up for what is right Gives compliments and praise Is concerned about others Knows how to listen and be a friend.
Thank you buzzy. I dont need to heal though! Im quite happy with my situation and my way of dealing with things. I posted the thread because ts always interesting to find out other people's opinions, is all.
petalbabe Forum Posts (3,101)
Definately..
Being Open and Honest..
I think the word “open” is starting to get misconstrued on this thread. I did not mean it as being extrovert, or more flamboyant in showing your emotions. I meant it in the respect of being more likely to express your heartfelt, deep feelings rather than someone who is more guarded in their expression. IMOI express what my heart tells me – good or bad. But I certainly would not consider myself an extrovert.