Thats exactly what I mean! Think we are just getting a bit too cautious. Its understandable, because of all the horror stories we hear, and there are some nasties out there, both male and female, but its a sad world if we cant just go with our gut and try it.
The more we talk about scammers and players, the more we can talk ourselves into thinking thats all there is out there. Its not true.
Think most of us on here have had bad experiences; instead of them making us weaker they should make us stronger, and make us make the most of the time we have, rather than being too reticent.
After all the recent threads about how many scammers and players there are on these sites, I just thought I would try and see the other side of things perhaps.
Are we too sceptical about people and their intentions? Do we cut ourselves off from possible friends, dates and possibly romances because we are so worried about their intentions?
Are we talking ourselves into actually thinking that everyone out there is "after something" and not really genuine?
Its one thing to be cautious; its quite another not be willing to go for it at all, "just in case"..
Difficult when you dont know the people involved, but maybe, just maybe, she has fallen for you big time in the short time you have been going out, and doesnt want to tell you yet, in case it scares YOU away..
If I knew the answer to that, Id make a mint on these sites, selling my secrets..
Truth is, I dont know. All you can do is look at the potential player objectively, dont rush into anything, think with your head and not your heart for a while at least.
Alot of the danger signs were already discussed in Vinny's Scammers thread of a day or so ago.
I guess its because we are all looking for love (those of us who are still single) and sometimes we wear blinkers. Compliments and constant flattery and empty promises can be devastatingly effective to someone who is lonely, or simply looking to be loved.
This is what makes these "players" (male and female - they are both out there) especially cruel, because they feed on people's vulnerability.
If they run a mile, they are not worth the bother anyway, Thedeise.
I experienced it from the other side actually. Was going out with a lovely guy a few years ago, all great, almost moving in together.
He then discovered he had MS. Wouldnt talk to me, wouldnt let me near him. When he eventually told me about the MS, I said it didnt make a blind bit of difference to me, I loved him for who he was. But he couldnt take it, and pushed me away because he didnt want me to have the burden. I was gutted, and very hurt.
Anyway, just try and get to know someone slowly; find out about your likes and dislikes first. See how compatible you are and then take it from there.
Welcome, John! I posted on your first thread on the Irish Forum last night/this morning, but thought Id just officially say hi. The Intl Form is great!
Didnt understand some of your post, my friend, but get the gist of it. You friend needs to get some self esteem I think. He is an ok guy, and whatever reasons this woman had for doing this is up to her. He cannot control her. Tell your friend to move on, and find someone worthy of him.
By the way, it is good to see new people here in the Irish Forum. Post away!!
Wouldnt it be nice, just for once, to have not man-bashing, or woman-bashing posts?
What is wrong with everyone? Have we all been so hurt and made bitter that we cannot move on? I for one, am not bitter. Just seasoned from life and moving on.
Still don't think that qualifies as a politically correct or incorrect issue, by my understanding of what that term means. For instance, one wouldn't call someone politically incorrect for asking "Do you dye your hair?" or "Have you had plastic surgery?" Those kinds of questions would generally just be considered bad-mannered because they're (possibly) invasive. If you're going to use "politically correct/incorrect" to label those kinds of behaviors, then the term would apply to virtually every manner of objectionable behavior, thereby rendering it worthless, no?[/quote
I agree. It shouldnt have been a PC issue.
It was not me who labeled anything! Thats the point! I think it was ridiculous.
petalbabe Forum Posts (3,101)
Hi Wex
Too Many Sceptics - Not Enough Believers??
Thats exactly what I mean! Think we are just getting a bit too cautious. Its understandable, because of all the horror stories we hear, and there are some nasties out there, both male and female, but its a sad world if we cant just go with our gut and try it.The more we talk about scammers and players, the more we can talk ourselves into thinking thats all there is out there. Its not true.
Think most of us on here have had bad experiences; instead of them making us weaker they should make us stronger, and make us make the most of the time we have, rather than being too reticent.
JMO