leostartingover Forum Posts (1,685)

Should you choose your "best friend" for a long-term relationship?

There ya go PA - you already have one possibility!!! ... and he is a sweetpea - a heart of gold!

Should you choose your "best friend" for a long-term relationship?

Don't lose faith PA.... Honestly, life is all about learning, both from our mistakes and from our experiences. I think some of the lessons are hard, but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. I'd rather open my heart to the possibility of love than keep it tightly closed and not ever give myself the chance to experience it again...

Should you choose your "best friend" for a long-term relationship?

Yes sad. I suspect in certain situations people do not allow themselves to feel too deeply or get too entrenched in a relationship to avoid the possibility of being hurt. It is much easier for these people to move on...

Should you choose your "best friend" for a long-term relationship?

Yes... I guess that is true to a certain extent. You'd have to know my childhood/history to understand why that was. Anyway, we live and learn eh?!!!

Interesting history lesson!

Oh dear God! What a terrible thing! I am sure I cannot possibly be related to that bloodthirsty, alcoholic idiot.... but perhaps when I visit I should keep quiet about my heritage????

Especially around the MacIans?

But seriously, I can feel the Scottish blood coursing through my veins. One of my favourite movies EVER is Braveheart. I love that movie - found it very moving...

Should you choose your "best friend" for a long-term relationship?

So c'mon Boban.... enough of the pithy little sayings.... out with it!

Should you choose your "best friend" for a long-term relationship?

Thank you for sharing this! You are so incredibly fortunate to have experienced that. And I am sad that you weren't able to realise your dream. My sister found the love of her life and married him (2nd marriage) and they had 15 wonderful years together before he died last March. Life is so bloody unfair sometimes.

The big C word - commitment. Yes, it is a very big part of what one needs for a long-lasting relationship. So easy to up and leave when times get tough - much harder but more rewarding to stay and work through it!

Interesting history lesson!

Very interesting stuff, thanks Rohaan! Perhaps we need to keep a history thread going all the time.....

Interesting history lesson!

Thanks Medsummer!!!! Hope you're having a lovely weekend, and no more sparring with he who shall not be named aka MM!!!

Interesting history lesson!

Sadly no. Not YET! Next year I want to do a tour of the UK... Will ya show me your neck a the woods then?!!! Have a pint of Guinness? (ugh) It looks beautiful, and my grandparents were Scottish - Campbells! My mother's name was Una and the girls are named: Debra, Heather & Fiona - all good Scottish names, no?

RE: Which of the following women over 40 is the hottest?

I think it is her natural way and her warmth!!!

RE: Hidden messages in water

Yes, thanks femjkw. Very interesting. In my opinion, there is absolutely no disputing the evidence that thought affects matter. I did a fascinating course a couple of years ago - PNI, psycho neuro immunology. It was run by a neurosurgeon who has gone into the field of quantum health because he could not find medical reasons to explain why some of his cases, particularly brain tumours, reacted to treatment one way and others did not. One of the things he talked about was how water can be imprinted with memory, even if you separate it. Let's say you poured a glass of water in California, then separated it into two different sealed vials and flew one of the vials to New York. Then if you put something into the one glass in California to change the chemical component of the water, the glass in New York would also change. Fascinating stuff!

Should you choose your "best friend" for a long-term relationship?

I was having dinner last night with a couple of girl friends, and we were discussing relationships (or the lack thereof). None of us are in one right now. The one girl is a psychiatrist and lost her long-term (although on/off) bf to cancer last year. The other is going through a nasty divorce after a 15 year marriage.... and then there's me - I met my ex when I was 21, married him at 24 and was married for 23 years til we divorced almost 3 years ago.

Anyway, we were talking about what makes a relationship last. We all know a handful of relationships that have stood the test of time and in fact, even flourished over the years. I remembered a dinner conversation from maybe 10 years ago; where after a few glasses of wine we were discussing what makes a marriage work. Two of the couples said that the answer is to marry your 'best friend'! At the time, in my 'youthful' arrogance, I was a little disparaging, saying: I don't need to marry my best friend - I have girlfriends for that... kinda thing. In retrospect though, I get what they were saying. I married someone handsome, charming, clever, ambitious, interesting, challenging, a good provider, blah blah... but did I feel that incredibly close emotional connection which allows you to open up your very soul and share the essence of who you are with someone else - NO. I did not. This next time round, that IS what I will be looking for, with a physical attraction/connection too of course!

Would love to hear your thoughts on this. What have you learnt from experience? Would you agree re: the above? Are any of you lucky enough to have found that elusive best friend/lover ideal connection??? Enquiring minds want to know!!!! Spill the beans!

RE: Tell a lie about the person above you 2

Being a freedom junkie, I cannot imagine anything worse!

RE: who do you think you are compatiable with ?

Only time will reveal who, although I think I have the capacity to get on with most people... I guess there are inevitably a few who I find more interesting than others....

RE: CS Pub now open, come on in................

My salsa lesson was SUCH fun! I must confess I did wonder for a teensy weensy moment whether or not Perth had his bagpipes hidden somewhere... but no, couldn't have been....

RE: When you go on a dinner date do you order.....

Yum lucky you! If I've been invited out on a first date I would never order something really expensive - just wouldn't. Would rather get something I think I'd enjoy in the middle to lower price bracket range. It would be different if I'd been dating a while and knew he could afford it. Otherwise, if I really felt like a treat and he'd asked me, I would offer to pay half.

RE: CS Pub now open, come on in................

You are TOO kind! Thank you!!

RE: It's 8pm and getting dark...

Yes... Isn't it amazing how weather and seasons can affect us? We are now in the midst of the most wonderful Spring weather! Last couple of days have been in the early 30s... Blue skies, sunny, slight breeze to take the edge off and spring blossoms everywhere! It's fabulous after our relatively cold winter...

RE: Tell a lie about the person above you 2

...... So he went underground and became the top paid Mills & Boons/Harlequin "modern series" writer of all time, and has since retired and is living off his earnings!

RE: CS Pub now open, come on in................

A mojito for me please! .... and tell the DJ to play some salsa music.... I need to get these hips movin!

RE: Anyone else getting drunk while posting?

Seems would have a lot of catching up to do and it is after 1am here, so have fun you naughty lot!

RE: Friday laugh!!!

Ha ha hilarious! Is it normal to be driving around in your underwear together though girls???

RE: Men who bond with there childeren

It is really difficult to answer that because I've never felt what it feels to be a father, only a mother. But, from what you have described, that sounds very much like the sort of incredible, wonderful bond that a loving parent has for their children, be they mother or father. As you say, there are some mothers who sadly never bond with their children just as there are fathers. In my opinion, fatherhood is a very precious and valuable role... just as valuable as motherhood. I salute you for taking your responsibilities as a father so seriously!!!!

RE: Anyone else getting drunk while posting?

Sounds like I missed quite a party last night!!! Unfortunately oot and aboot for supper with a friend, so... have fun and see ya later...

RE: This is a hard one for me.....

Yes, hope she contacted you? You may need to give it a few days though....

RE: Will I ever understand men?

I agree! It is sometimes the easier option. I guess the only way to find out for sure what is happening is to ask a direct question, and then hopefully you'll get a direct answer back! It doesn't always work though. It's hard to hurt someone else's feelings, especially if they seem to like you more than you like them. My policy is rather to be honest though. Even though it is sometimes really hard....

RE: Mind over heart to get over an ex

I don't really know how to answer your question... I guess it takes a different amount of time for each of us. In my situation, once I made the decision to split, I was sure, and this was after 23 years of marriage. When the divorce was finalised, I was even more certain I'd done the right thing, and now almost 3 years later, I haven't changed my mind. We're all different, but we all need time to heal after the demise of a long relationship. Good luck sweetpea!

RE: Send a flower to the poster above you

For you PlainlyJune.... p.s. How is your English so good???!!! I am impressed...

RE: Report: 10 Million Killed Annually By Stepping Out Of Comfort Zones

Those figures sound totally disproportionate!!!! Anyway, my question re: the latter part of your quote is: Would you rather be safe in your "soul crushing monotony of habit" or feel happy and alive taking a risk or two and pushing a few boundaries??? Personally, I'd rather take a risk!