How to Trust Again

The end of a romantic relationship can be very painful because it involves loss. Coming to terms with the loss of your relationship and your partner is difficult. If the breakup occurred because your confidence was betrayed, you may even feel that you've lost your ability to trust again. Some people remain single for the rest of their lives after experiencing a breakup involving betrayal. However, it's possible to trust again provided you're determined enough to do so. Here are some ways to help find out how.

Ponder the Alternative

People often find it difficult to trust again after a painful breakup because they're afraid of the same thing happening again. Betrayal generally feels like a sickening kick to the gut, and it's an experience no sane person wishes to repeat. Nonetheless, the alternative to trusting is even more frightening to contemplate. Romantic relationships need trust in order to develop. Thus without trust, there can be no romantic relationship. Do you really want to live the rest of your life without a loving companion by your side? No individual can enjoy living life as a solitary island because human beings are social by nature.

Time to Heal

If you've just broken up with someone who betrayed you, the last thing you should do is seek a relationship with someone else right away. You need to give yourself time to heal. In order to heal, you'll need to take the time to think about what happened and how it has impacted your life. If you try to sweep it all under the carpet, the issue will become bigger than it really is. If you give what happened due consideration, it should help you to find effective coping strategies. You'll also discover that life goes on, and a cruel betrayal is not the end of the world.

Be Patient

If you've been betrayed by someone, trusting again will not come easily to you. Hence you should expect a few setbacks and disappointments on your road to recovery. These setbacks are normal, so do not beat yourself up about them. The healing process will take time, and so will learning to trust again.

Be Realistic

Sometimes a person can end up feeling betrayed because they put too much responsibility on the shoulders of their romantic partner. If you burden someone else with the responsibility of meeting all of your needs, they're bound to let you down sooner or later. Making someone else responsible for your happiness is unfair and unrealistic. First of all, happiness has to come from within. What's more, other people can meet some of your needs. It is not necessary for your romantic partner to be all things to you.

You Can Trust

After your relationship ends, you may feel that you can't trust others anymore, but that's not strictly true. Most people put their trust in others every day, even if it is just in a small way. Some of the people you trust on a regular basis are actually complete strangers. For instance, when you purchase something in a store, you trust the cashier to give you your change. Similarly you trust your doctor to prescribe the right medications when you have a medical complaint. People have to put their trust in each other every day if they are to get on with the business of living life.

Look Around You

If the experience that left you unable to trust has shaken your faith in humanity, take the time to look around and observe other people. You can often tell by a person's behavior whether or not they can be trusted. People who tend to gossip and stab other people in the back obviously shouldn't be trusted. However, some people keep quiet about other people's affairs, and avoid saying negative things about others. Such people are generally trustworthy and reliable.

Slowly Does It

Once you've healed and dropped any emotional baggage you may have been carrying, you'll be ready to start a new romantic relationship. When you meet someone new, take the relationship very slowly. Gradually allow yourself to trust your new partner little by little. Choose carefully who and what you trust; trust only those who earn it. Observe how your new partner reacts to the things you confide in them. If your new partner keeps small confidences, then you can probably trust them with bigger ones as time goes on. You should also make a point of talking to your partner about your trust concerns. If you do this, they may be able to help you to overcome the problem.

Unfortunately, there are no guarantees when it comes to romantic relationships. There is always the chance that you will be betrayed in the future. This risk of betrayal is part and parcel of entering into a relationship. Getting involved with someone new is always a leap of faith, but it's a risk that sometimes pays off. Betrayal is and always will be a part of life. It's how you deal with it that matters.