WALKS INTO A BAR... DOUBLE VODKAS
A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."
The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"
On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, "Yeah, my wife!"
AFTER THE HONEYMOON
A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other. The groom's best friend takes him aside and asks what's wrong.
"Well," replies the man, "when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," says his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years."
"That's not the problem, " the groom says. "She gave me $20 change!"
... .... .... ,,,,,,,,,,,,QUIZ..........
I am remarkably well and thoroughly sound.
Cut me quick and it will be seen,
That I instantly have a marvelous sheen.
New appear, sometimes old disappear;
I am a wonderful help to mankind,
Proud woman grabs holds me hard,
The wise and knowledgeable man is sure of it.
Even the fool knows it.
The rich man wants it.
The greatest of heroes fears with out it,
Yet the lowliest of cowards would die for it.
What is this upon which I ponder?
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