Old school or Modern approach?
I have discovered that when it comes to dating there are generally two kinds of styles for men & women one is a more modern approach where she may ask him out and even pay for the date then there is the other approach where he, the male is the only one who is expected to ask the women out and pay for the date and the two sexes play out specific "roles."Which are you personally more comfortable with and why?
Comments (44)
more than half the men are just looking for hookups.
some say they want a good woman. lol..uhuh.
meet them and they cant find anything wrong with you but they obsess over the not so hot lady who lives with her parents, is over 40, alcoholic and has 3 kids who are constantly in trouble.
has me convinced good guys think their lives are so boring, they want a woman who will give them drama..
Show up with Flowers,Open Doors,Pay,Act like a Gentleman
Paid? First date, if I eat more than he, I will pay.
Summer
I do not judge anyone who has a different view point or preference...this is just mine....the guy brings the flowers, the man asks me out and if he opens the door and takes my coat I am even more impressed not because I can't do it for myself but because I feel that he is being so attentive and considerate
Congratulation Lana, again meaningful blog with common sense and without attacking people.
i had the same problem with a few guys on here.
one i blocked 3 times and the guy would delete his profile and make a new one to contact me.
he lives in gross point and after finally caving in and letting him call me, i regretted it.
he was a real psyco..told me he had a hand gun and how he beat up the guy next door for calling his kid a name, ect, ect.
his ex wife had a ppo against him and the story kept getting worse.. so of course i blocked him again..
i think he finally gave up after making 5 different profiles.
But I bet, you won't share me one of them. LOL
Summer
shame it has to be like this with so many acting like that.
So lets make this clear that there are nice people out there both men and women and of course as a woman I will talk about men just as if you are a man you will most probably be talking about your experiences with women be they good or bad..
I will try to get some sleep now. It is 3am here in MI and Swiss you are up too? we gotta quit that coffee
Good night all ...be good
havin said that... i don't feel comf lettin a girl pay on a date & see nothin wrong/abnormal with a girl askin a guy out ... though, veryyyy few of 'em have d guts to do it.
In my case I would say no . . . I would therefore fall in the "old School" catagory . . . and I'm OK with that
@parti..
@lana..ya i agree, were not bashing all men, just the ones we met in michigan that made us wonder why n the heck did we even go out with them.
How are you doing today, ha'? hehe
Are you still in the old school, michigan high?
For dating... I like the role of 'be yourself'. If you're naturally generous, be generous. If you're not this way... perhaps this is a chance to dry to develop a new skill.
Be kind, caring, respectful ... generous and forgiving ... on a date and in life. On a date, this translates into helping her with her coat... holding the door open... lots of this should just be things you normally do.
I think of "old school" as making an effort to show her that you think she's special.
"Modern" is either making an assumption that she feels that help with menial tasks is degrading or condescending ... or ... it's showing her that you don't think she's special. Two very different meanings.
I'll open the door for her... and might even mention that I like taking care of her like this... if it's okay with her.
sometimes i wonder who came up with some of the city names around here and what were they drinking when they named them?
Open the Car Door, Pull out the chair, flowers every night, pay for everything, walk on the street side of the street, lay their coats over a puddle for the lady, ride into town on the trusty steed!
With all these great guys around I'm amazed that any woman hasn't got one. LOL!
There just seems to be lots of the old fashioned types here.
Wonder why they're all single??
Cheers, LOL!
LOL!
I applaud you for that
inthemind,
True that common courtesy is a good idea for both men and women when it comes to dating though I think that there are certain things which some men would feel uncomfortable with such as me holding his coat for him (would be kind a weird) or just my opinion that me sending flowers to a man unless his mom is sick or something would be strange.....thats just my feeling on it not judging anyone who may feel differently.
I think most men would enjoy different type of pampering from a woman like a nice long back massage or acknowledging his abilities and appreciating him as a man. I think men love being appreciated by a woman more than anything
WOW,
You do have keen observational powers! IMO, that "is" what I like, especially the "long back rub" part! LOL!
Cheers!
and....."Why are you single??" LOL!
Sherwood... I am that way, always have been cause thats what men are supposed to do, that being said I have other faults that Im correcting... not trying to contain...
So no role reversal?
Okay --- a point from a blog a while ago --- I do think it's the man's role to take care of the woman... to provide and to be protective. This includes opening doors, paying for dinner, etc.
Each should make an effort to show they think the other is special. The challenge is to do this in the way the other person is receptive to. It's not always about doing the things that are traditional. Why not customize it to him/her?
What's normal, common and traditional is a safe way to start but as you get to know each other, there's no reason not to develop your own traditions.
I'm going to open the door for you but I'm not going to close it in front of the lady behind you. Politeness gets extended to everyone.
I was going to write a comment but " inthemind",said what I wanted to say,,so,no need to copy it .
It would be nice eventually to customize "pampering" to the individual's likes and needs and I'm sure many people do this as the relationship progresses but the questions here is ....
are you ok with the other person's needs and expectations?
For example my ex bf enjoyed it when the woman manicured his nails, I didn't want to do this for him and thought it was a dumb and vain request