He said I am a negative energy
Greetings to each and everyone. It’s been a while since I posted a blog. I am just lurking around reading (when my boss is not watching, lolz). So, how is everybody doing? Oh by the way, it’s me Shay (to those who knew me already and those who don’t, ?)Looking back for the last year 2013, it has been I would say okay. I am still away from home working (used to it already), minding the “singleness” once in a while, depressed sometimes (I will dwell on that part later), smiling at times, over all fine. Life must go on.
So what’s making me depressed? Oh, a couple of events lately. I have this feeling of getting a bit lonely when the Christmas season comes for few obvious reasons. To add more to the sadness, the loss of a beloved 19 year old brother 37 days ago. It is so sudden I cannot fathom how upsetting it is to lose someone very, very dear to my heart in an untimely manner. Accidents do happen, and that caused my brother’s death. It is more maddening because I haven’t seen him for the last time due to couple of unavoidable circumstances. I mourned (and still am, in silence), I keep people away from me for weeks already but I am sure I didn’t ignore those who stayed with me through those times, and thank them to be sensitive enough to understand what I am going through.
Do I have the right to feel depress? Yes, I do. And the person to have an open mind and sensitive (and so he claims he is) who I expected to understand me did not. He’s got his selfish reasons rubbed on my face and he said I bring negative energy in his life. I say, Good riddance.
I am too vulnerable these days, but I am trying my very best to get going again. I am lucky to have family and friends on my side (though not physically).
PS: I do not intend to get you upset in a supposed to be merry days.
Comments (34)
i have read your blog and worry.
Everyone has a right to mourn the loss of someone close to them, Especially if that person was a family member.
there are rules for how you should feel in times like this, nor are there rules that say how long you can or can not mourn for.
Only this though, Remember your brother fondly, do not dwell on the last time you saw him, And i am sure, that your brother would want you to continue with your life, thinking of him occasionally and remembering the good times you shared.
It is harder at times like this, but you are not alone, you have many friends, myself especially that are with you in mind and spirit.
Do not let those unworthy of your friendship/love drag you down.
Be Good, Stay Healthy, and remember to Smile.
I wish you all the best and trust that 2014 brings you what you throughly deserve, peace and much happiness.
Sorry to hear about your brother. Give yourself time to mourn. Those who truly care will respect that, those who don't are not worthy. May peace and love find you
"Do I bring negative energy to your life?"
Would it matter if you did. ?
Anyone who scorns someone else for being in grieving or who turns away from you for simply feeling down, is surly not worth being around.
Im sure Christmas will be trying for you with the loss.
and I hope you can make the most of a bad situation.
Happy Christmas Shay
Christmas is never quite the same with lost family members.... but wishing you all the best for the coming year....
Non My Joyful Christmas wishes to you and your kids. Thank you for the wishes.
There are things we don't expect from the people we care, and being hurt by them is one.
Hans Merry Christmas to you and your family as well.
Indeed, my brother is being missed immensely. What's comforting is he is already at peace.
Of course you aren't being negative! A loss of a family member takes time esp one so young and close to you like your brother. I'm sure you were probably in shock as well being that he was taken so suddenly.
This person either has never experienced the lost of a love one or he's very insensitive. Just by the way he's reacting, I don't think he's worth having in your life. He needs to give you space to grieve. I've lost family members from years ago and I'm still not over it. I still have a bad day esp during holidays and their birthdays, anniversary of their passing etc.
Take your time to grieve. We all grieve in different ways and some are able to or appear to get over the loss faster than others. I know your heart feels empty right now and there will always be a space missing for him but in time the pain will be less and less. Cherish your memories.
So sorry to hear about your loss.
Sorry to hear about your loss, my sincere condolences.
Thank you for your kind thoughts.
I didn't realized how difficult it is to deal with the loss of a sibling until I have experienced it myself. The pain was (and is) almost unbearable. I didn't require everybody to be there for me. The thoughts were more than enough.
Del, thanks to you too. x
You will be in my thoughts this Christmas. Take care of you!
time heals everything. please ( always ) remember your brother in joy and laughter and not with tears and sorrows.
It is good to share how you feel, especially at this time of year. Yes tragedy does happen and when it does, it is good to grieve and also to reflect.
Death puts life into perspective. We are all busy making a living, and not living our lives. None of us know the day and the time when we will also join others when we fall asleep.
Working is important, but not more important than living with our loved ones, in my opinion.
The rich man will lie down with the poor man. All mankind is equal in that.
Depression is a natural part of grieving. Let yourself grieve your loss. But also let your heart remember the good times you shared together. Remember that this life is not all that there is.
I believe that we all live on in some form, and that at some time in the future, we can and maybe will see our loved ones again. Maybe even talk with them.
I am not trying to start a theological debate, but to share my hope in my belief that death is not the end of our loved ones. It is the beginning of another life.
Negative energy? No. Sadness is a part of life, so too is recovery, and then happiness when we think of our loved ones.
One of my favourite sayings is "Serenity is not the absence of the storm, but peace amidst the storm".
You can have peace and you will have peace again. Just give yourself time, and be patient with yourself.
The sun will shine again in your heart.
jmo.
You have every right to feel sad and to expect support from those who claim to love you. If they are not willing to do so, you can draw your conclusions out of that (later when you feel up for it).
I wish you strength.
Do not worry about the length and intensity of your mourning. That is your complete privilege that no one can infringe on. Ignore those that say "get over it" because they speak with ignorance and let those know that support you that you appreciate them.
I like to read the advice columns and everyone one that I have read agree on one point. Mourning is a personal thing and can only be determined by you. Just write to us if you need to discuss anything. We want to keep in touch with you!
My deepest condolences my sweet sweet friend!
AngelpepperThank you and Happy holidays to you and yours.
ajkaorjun As what he said, "Live your life and I will live mine". I certainly will. :)
Halv0, thank you for message. I do feel the warmth of the thoughts it brings to me. Thank you for sharing the wisdom and making me feel better. Happy holidays.
GoDaniel Thanks and a blessed Christmas to you.
KNenagh, Thanks. Happy holidays to you too.
Ed1941, Thank you for the sweet thought always. I know I have you and few others to talk to. I am here for you too. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
teddybeerke88, Thank you and Merry Christmas to you.
Old friend Alonerdo!
chiilout, chill outThe world is a different place without your brother. Please allow yourself to feel whatever feels right... there's sadness but there are still people in your life to smile with. When there are moments of happiness, allow yourself to be happy.
From my own experience, it gets a slight bit better each day... and many days later the sadness will feel more distant. This is okay too.
Stay close to those who support you. Their good feelings towards you will help you along.
Richard, hi. Thank you for the sound advice
Happy holidays to you both.
I don't believe in airing one's grievances with other CS members, it's very unpleasant to read. But if you're going to do it, you can expect a response.
Shay, I enjoyed our friendship while it lasted. You'll make somebody very happy some day. But you need to learn how to deal with people.
Your former friend
We grew apart, no blame, no issue. It happens. At least I was honest from day one. Can you say the same?
Incidentally, this is a discussion that should take place in private. But you decided to post this blog, knowing full well I would read it. Your choice.
As what you were telling, there are two sides of the story. I have said mine and you definitely said yours. Enough already. Thank you.