JEALOUSY AND ITS EFFECT IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS
I truly believe, our biggest obstacle to happiness is this monstrous feelings, specially when it is beyond control. Yet is there such thing as a positive jealousy?One of the darkest sentiment ever given to us, humans, when it comes to love, is this feeling, JEALOUSY. At least to me quite parallel to HATE, AND EVEN ENVY. But in a love relationship between lovers, this seems to me the most elaborate reason why our love ends or die even as we declare, proclaim that our love will never die. It will last forever. It will weather all the dark storms we will have to face. Challenges we will confront will not prevail because we love each other so much. In fact, TILL DEATH DO US PART?(not really till jealousy kills our love?) Then one day. Bam! Someone was brave enough to give you the bad news that actually you are not the only one in his or her heart. How do we handle it? Is there a system quite established to follow? So we are not going to be a victim of this crippling, damaging feeling?
All through the years, my personal observation, at least to most of my friends, and those that are known to me, including but not limited to so many famous people is the feeling of jealousy that which eroded that beautiful, heavenly, pure love we once had.
Cheating, triggers, this emotion. Then it escalates to a very hurtful feeling. The problem is, when in the beginning when there is not yet enough and or sufficient evidence, as to the existence of insincerity, or disloyalty or cheating from whom we love, how do we address it? Will our preliminary steps, account to the success and or failure of our goal? Which is of course to either, re cement and or end our relationship. Taken into considerations are the time and effort we have been with him or her that we love. When do we walk away and when do we forgive. And if we do forgive, is there any sufficient success? Or is the passion diminished and dead?
If you stay, why? If you decide not to why?
Thanks all for your participation.
NOTE: IS THERE A CONNECTION BETWEEN OUR FEELINGS WITH OUR REASON? AND OR LOGIC? TO TEMPER AND GUIDE OUR REACTION AND EVENTUAL DECISION? QUESTION? RELIABILITY OF OUR FEELINGS? IS IT A MATTER FOR AND AGAINST THE HEART AND THEREFORE, WONT EVER USE REASON? FOR FORGIVENESS? REMEMBER THAT WE AREN'T PERFECT LIKE SPOCK..OR THERE WOULD BE NONE OF THESE TO BEGIN WITH?
Two of my best relationships ended because of this and I am still finding a way to abate and abridge if I can. Can we?
Comments (44)
Trust and faithfulness were always important to me and himself. I don't want to be with someone I couldn't trust or have to ask myself where he is etc. I couldn't and wouldn't want to deal with something like that and thankfully didn't have to until now.
Yet perhaps because there are some part of the past that needs closures and not quite there yet and it does pose a great pain in the new relationship.
I had a very long healthy relationship with my ex of 26 years and never felt the need of being jealous. It only took him three years to earn my trust and since then it was great. But internet relationship, I find out, is truly a very different case.
Thanks G. Makers and Jack Daniels do come in handy.
The question is, how did you know about it? Perhaps an encounter with some beautiful Filipino women? And not too many of the Filipinos either as it is a pure product of the Ilocano tribe hailing from the North.
Being able to talk to someone is essential. If I can't be open with someone I can't see myself starting something. But that's all easier said than done.
The scenario is this: a 7 year old child do need both parents to carry on the essential and legal obligations to fulfill their needed parenting, but I just feel that there is so much intimacy on the subjects of which they choose to talk about, which has nothing to do with molding the future of the child they connected to bring up to this world.
Where as there are many families I am aware of that all talks and communications are that, per required. Now I find it selfish for anyone to curtail such a direction of building up positive environment to this child, but for heaven's sake why even break up a connection. In my point of view, anything that might require involvement of this child to be cared of, should never make the new relationship feel left out. That is my take but maybe I am wrong and therefore let this new one die.
widespread wherever coconut grows.
Now I would give my partner more respect and trust that I give her no reason to mistrust me.
Very interesting post young lady
I personally believe, it is alright to a certain point to be jealous. After all we are human beings whose core of existence is of our feelings and emotions. It is one of the strongest feelings we have and can trigger many a pain and sorrow if not directed properly. I do believe that a legitimate explanation by the one being accused of mistrust is needed to alleviate further damage on a relationship. Otherwise it is very unhealthy to be holding those sentiments deep inside without addressing it for the growth of the new love.
I am sure there is nobody spared from being in the state of jealousy but it can help create in establishing a strong foundation provided there is enough patience and trust to be reestablishedd on such a smear of the love-ing state.
It is difficult for someone new and being able to talk about it with your partner is just necessary.
I have seen examples where parents don't work together and it's bad for the kids. Don't know really anyone who is chummy with their ex tbh.
Thanks again.
I love that Velsix and for me, it works the same.
Yet, if I see it without being selfish, whatever makes the other happy, who am I to deny it? I am finding my way out.
Jealousy is another interpretation of 'Possessiveness' too, 'she's mine and that's it' is the cause of so many break ups, no one 'Belongs' to anyone. Respect and understanding the feelings of each other and understanding the repercussions of ones actions before doing them.
I hope this makes sense, I know what I mean but then I'm getting on a bit, well that's my excuse....
A lot of situations are different and everyone handles these things differently. A child will always come first and it can be difficult for everyone involved to create a situation which is fair.
I do learn that time, do provide us the important aspects of learning and adjusting to those we do fall in love with. Like I said, with my previous ex, I didn't ever experience any insecurity and or inferiority as I found out that he did so much to make sure I am the only one in his life. I believe it is the very conduct of those that we love more than those that are part of their past that make the dynamics of our jealousy alive and or strong.
Nevertheless, it is a very natural part of our life and when it does pose a threat to our peaceful connections, we must not leave unattended. Rather we should address it for purposes of understanding and if we keep doing things that hurt the other, then we become selfish and unmindful of the other's peace of mind.
I am not a jealous person, but lately I did feel very uncomfortable and injured and almost ran away as fast and as far as I can from whom, would have hurt me.
Now it is important truly to adapt and learn and adjust and if we have hope of improving our relationship, so then it will grow and perhaps become strong and no matter what we do, will make our love happier and our connections will become an oasis of understanding, happiness and joys..I think..
As you said, both have to do their bit and be on the same page.
Take care.
I always leave possibilities for my choices.
Its, empowering.
It should be a choice for both people to stay and make something work.
Never give up GG, respect is something important in a relationship and I wonder how a guy would have liked a similar behaviour? I never was interested in looking at another guy when I was with someone.
Good blog topic...I think jealousy is part of our emotions because of some insecurity either born within ourselves or brought upon us through conversation with the one you love...some people enjoy the act of making one jealous...and sometimes it is just you questioning your worth...as long as it doesn't come from a dark place...jealousy can be healthy in my opinion...I don't consider myself a jealous person but I am not immune to comments meant to damage my self worth...the more negative comments are made on behalf of a loved one...the more jealous you become...then it is time to question the health of the relationship...ending it becomes more clear to you if you take a look at who you have become in that relationship...never easy to leave but for your own psychological health it is something to consider...JMO...