making the first move

So I know this shy guy, 40 or so, a fellow writer, who has been fantasizing about meeting a woman who will pick him up and make him happy.

Now a woman who has been a friend for a while is being a bit flirty, AND has made an arrangement which means socially they will now be bumping into each other on a regular basis. He's delighted - but not sure how to react. He's very shy. He also wants her in charge, how does he show he's interested, and yet still have her setting the pace?

I personally will reach out once or twice but if the guy ignores it, that's it, for me. Not risking rejection. But if both of them are too shy to take a risk ....

Comments (38)

johnjjm
be wary of the shy ones they can be a handful I thinks
Jazz53
Over 48....ok....under....scold
mollybaby
He should write to her and tell her how it is, and how he wants it to be.
It's more difficult to be shy in writing than in person.
If she is interested, and a more dominant personality, who would be willing to take charge on at least the first occasion, his shyness should leave him after that.
Elegsabiff
JJ I think he will be a geyser once he finds the right woman laugh

Because he's shy he's always dated shy women and nothing exciting, he says, has ever happened to him as a result
Elegsabiff
Jazz, feeling dominant? laugh

He wouldn't believe his luck ...
Elegsabiff
Molly, I honestly wonder if he told me in the hope I would offer to write and tell her ... grin
mollybaby
Maybe he did, Biff, but he is a writer himself. So no pity.

Tell him to write everything down and send it to her.

She'll either bite or not.
Elegsabiff
I did suggest he tell her his secret writing name and let her read one of his books which are very clear on what he dreams about.

He nearly died on the spot at the very thought. If she was horrified - if she told all their mutual friends his other writing name -
johnjjm
that fella is winding you up 40 and nothing ever happened
Elegsabiff
JJ I'm sure stuff has happened in his life!

But he dates these shy girls, and they expect him to be in charge, and really all he wants is to be swept off his feet and kept as a sex toy, I think. So the relationships fizzle out sadly.
Elegsabiff
It did make me wonder how many men on here would actually like a woman to make the first move, and basically move the whole thing along. Any? Many?
johnjjm
yeah is sad reall y missing so much
mollybaby
Biff,
That is his only hope.
If he won't show her his past writings, tell him to write a new scenario based on his fantasies.
If she likes it, she'll go for it.
johnjjm
where I am is a very quite place and I see lovely fellas and they never even go out with a girl are not homosexuals just some are so shy and many young men ...andin all honesty most mails here from women are by enlarge from just scammers you seldomget a decent mail an odd one
Elegsabiff
Molly, I'm keeping WELL clear.

But I will suggest that - she does read his conventional books, he could try a gently shaded one, ask her to proofread it as a Completely New Departure and give him an opinion ...

by George I think you've got it cheering
mollybaby
I'm good at these things, Biff wink


Funny how it's always so much easier to sort other people's problems out laugh
Elegsabiff
JJ that's exactly it. Shyness - and maybe just wishing someone would take them in hand and bypass all the fuss.


Anyway I think Molly's solved this particular guy's problem.
Elegsabiff
Now Molly you can solve the absolute opposite problem for me, how do I make it clear that I am not writing about myself in my books laugh
johnjjm
shes typical elgs knows everything are all the same down there
Elegsabiff
whoops lost signal twice now

so if I vanish again I'm not being rude

I won't try again - bedtime in vanland.
mollybaby
Sorry, I got distracted laugh
pat8lanips
And if the vans a rockin' dont come knockin'
mollybaby
JJ, I'm not typical of anything snooty
robrt787
Hello Elegs,

You know, I'm a shy guy. See -- blushing

Anyways, one time when I made the first move on a lady, she got all upset with me and said, "Hey! Don't go grabbing my behind like that. That's not nice. Don't you have any manners."

Then she added, "You should kindly ask me first, then I'll let you grab all you like." grin
nonsmoker
It all sounds a bit complicated Biff.
Are they actors in a period drama ? laugh
Elegsabiff
Pat, if only sigh
Elegsabiff
Rob, you found you an old-fashioned girl, excellent! laugh
Elegsabiff
Non, I actually put it better in one of the comments than in the blog. doh

He wants to be swept off his feet and would like to be a fairly decisive woman's sex toy.

Hey. Worse things to be. laugh
Elegsabiff
Morning, campers. wave

The simple things in life, we don't miss 'em until we no longer got 'em. I DREAM of the days when the dog could get out and the cat could get in without me having to wake up and form part of the equation.

yawn
IncubusBaig
Morning Biff.. totally agree about the simple things we don't appreciate until they're gone.. but that's just human nature I suppose.. oh well.. onwards and upwards! super
Elegsabiff
Baig, there'd be a blog in that except that few would even realize what simple things they are enjoying ....
IncubusBaig
Biff.. Right again.. although it really doesn't take a lot of effort to start realising those things. All we need to do is pause for a moment, look at life a bit more closely and start being thankful for what we've got. Pretty soon it becomes second nature. smile
MimiArt7348
Chou San, Biffffffffff!!!!!








That's 'Good Morning' in Cantonese grin
nonsmoker
May the force be with him ! laugh
Elegsabiff
Chou San Mimi!!!!

Sawu bona - I see you - hug

Buenas dias, hola!!! xxx
Elegsabiff
(okay, THEN I checked my spelling. So much to learn) sigh
Elegsabiff
Non - thumbs up rolling on the floor laughing
Redex
Me personaly would do nu-thin but watch on, what will be will be.

At 40 if they need a shove well the lake is a good place to awaken many a thing laugh laugh laugh yeah yeah i do have a cruel side to me devil
jarred1: "Love of your child"(meet us in the blogs)

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