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So I'm currently at a coffee shop and enduring the presence of two obnoxious human beings and the louder of the two is apparently ah...transitioning. I put in my ear buds and play some loud music to drown out the distraction but you know what? f*ck that! I was here first. I'm not bothering anyone and furthermore, I'm a paying customer when these two freeloaders are sucking up electricity and WiFi at the coffee shop's (and customers') expense.

To satisfy my anger with being subjected to mundane and "gay" blather from these bottom-feeders, I start typing hateful words into Google with the hope of getting a search result that will make me feel that I'm not alone in my angst or better yet, make me laugh.

I was Midway into my query when I started typing r-r-t-a-r-d-e-d and then Google suggested the word I wanted was r-e-t-a-r-d-e-d. Thank you Google for (in)correcting me...and making me laugh.

This story has a happy ending too. The bigmouth just happened to be saying that "her" response to loud people is "excuse me, but would you shut the f*ck up" which gave me the perfect opportunity (the profanity being reason enough) to retort with an emphatic "Excuse me, but would You shut the f*ck up!"

Put aside our childish egotistical bickering and morn the tragic event that has unfolded in NZ

Myself, I'll be more than happy with $500M. I could



buy me all the Cognac from all over the world.

Or whatever the Mexicans celebrate this time of year ...and a heartfelt Feliz Scooby Doo to my favorite chihuahua!
But seriously folks, I'd rather eat a billygoat's a**hole than associate with desperate, attention-seeking political shills.

Here's to everyone else. L'chaim!

'Twas the night before Xmas, the streets were a mess
with last-minute shoppers unleashing their stress.
The traffic was swarming like flies on a turd
with honking and yelling and flipping the bird.
Mamá in the cockpit, and I with a map,
had just turned around to get out of the crap,

When over a median, cellphone-distracted,
an urban assault wagon flew and compacted
a mini-van trying a left-handed U-ie:
The shopping bags flew as they both went Ka-blooey!

The corridor lights on the metal and snow
shone blue on the cuts of the victims below.
The cellphones were chiming, an ambulance called;
it couldn't get thru 'cause the traffic was stalled.
But lawyers there were, and in less than a flash,
arrangements were made to distribute the cash.

With similar accidents all over town,
the exits to parking lots all were shut down.
Employees and shoppers were trapped in the malls,
and Xmas arrived with them climbing the walls.
And we heard someone say, as we got out of range,
"How much of this stuff will they let us exchange?"

kornbluth
Winter Solstice 2002

Whenever something REALLY strange happens in the USA, you can almost be certain, that it takes place in Florida.

The Sunshine State is home to several amazing places, and home to a LOT of weird occurrences. I shared that fact, if you can call it that, in a group on Facebook, and I got torn apart in the comments. Someone said, that Florida was the best place ever, and that no weird things could possibly happen there. He got quite defensive, even after several people linked to.. Let's say, weird.. Things that happened there. So when this video popped up in my YouTube feed



I just KNEW that A: I was right. Lots of weird things DO happen in Florida, and B: I have to see that video immediately!

If anyone, who reads my blogs, is from Florida, please let me know just how often you hear about weird stuff happening.

One of the best Florida Man headline I have read is "Florida Man attacks ATM with hatchet after it refuses to take his check."

I have several questions, one of them is "Why?!"

Nothing like that happens here in Denmark. Sometimes I am quite happy about that

You may have already heard about Porch Pirates... Typically, it's people who drive around neighborhoods looking for delivered packages on doorsteps where the recipients aren't home to receive the goods. Often it's a driver and a person who gets out of the car and snatches the package from the porch and quickly gets back into the car for a quick getaway!
You can find dozens of home surveillance videos on YouTube where the thieves have been recorded. Unless they can be positively identified, chances are pretty good they will continue to get away with it.

Lots of different ways to avoid being a victim of a porch pirate. Two suggestions would be to have packages delivered to your workplace or have the package retained at the shipper's local office for you to pick up.

I noticed a comment on my first blog, that asked how it was to live in Denmark, so I decided to write a blog, describing how it is to live here in this tiny Kingdom.

First things first: It is a very small country. There are an estimated 5,806,015 people living in Denmark. To put that into context: It is less people than the entire population of the great state of Missouri, USA. Denmark is located in Northern Europe, right above Germany, but the impact that Denmark has on the World is staggering. Lots of things in the World either come from Danish, or has Danish heritage. Some parts of England still has a Danish feel to it, which is due to something called Danelaw. Basicly, Denmark owned the entire lower half of the United Kingdom, until our King at the time, refused to send out a raid, that would conquer the UK. But that is a story for another blog.

Now, Denmark has been known to be the happiest country in the World. Several times, actually. But is it true? Are Danish people REALLY that happy?

In a way, yes. That has something to do with our quality of living.

You may have seen a certain Fox News segment about socialism and Denmark. In that piece, there are several things that are twisted to fit a narrative, and others are just plain wrong. Yes, we do have a high tax rate. Some pay upwards of 60% of their monthly income in taxes. But you only do that, when you earn more than $6853 per month, which a lot do. Me, well I pay just 37% in taxes. I am on Government funded aid, so I don't earn a lot. But I earn enough to get by. Anyway, back to Denmark!

Due to our tax system, we have Universal healthcare, which means that anyone, no matter how much you earn, can get to a doctor or a hospital, without paying a single cent. Surgeries, births and trips to the ER are also free of charge. There are some things that we have to pay for. Dentists are one of the things.

We have free college education here, as well as free university education. We can apply for a grant through the government, that pays up to $923, before taxes, each month for the duration of your education. So far so good.

We do have our fair share of crimes, unfortunately. Gangs roam the major cities, and people do kill. So what do they use? They use knives and axes, mostly. Why not guns? Because guns are banned in Denmark! There are very strict gun laws here. We only allow private firearm possession for the purposes of hunting and sport shooting. Holders of hunting licenses and members of rifle clubs, with a valid weapon permit are allowed to possess certain models of shotguns and rifles. To obtain a hunting license, applicants have to pass several tests proving their knowledge about guns, ammunition, game characteristics and habits. Target shooting is considered the only valid reason for pistol ownership. Pistol licenses are only given to people after a two year active membership with a shooting club.

All gun licenses have to be specially authorized by the Minister of Justice. License holders are allowed to own multiple firearms, but have to get a separate permit for each weapon. The permits are only issued if the applicant can show a valid reason for owning the particular weapon. Guns and ammunition have to be stored separately in special gunrooms with double locks.

We also have an enormous tax on cars. It was recently lowered from 180% to 150%. Fuel is also expensive. Gasoline is often $6,07 per gallon, so it is definitely not cheap to have a car in Denmark.

And yet, despite all that. Despite all the taxes, all the gangs, all the times where I have said "I am sick and tired of this place", I find myself proud of being born in Denmark. Born in a country, that for all purposes is a fairy tale land. The rolling hills of Jylland, to the bustling hell of Copenhagen. From the beaches in the South and the forests in the North!

Denmark is my home - and I love it with all my heart!

I hope this gave you an idea of how amazing my country is!

Earlier today, I saw a car with no front or back license plates, which is required by law here in Denmark. That might not be so weird. What was weird, was that the engine was running, and there was a woman sitting in the drivers seat, and she wasn't moving. But she was alive, because she was looking around, almost like she was watching someone or keeping a lookout. There has been a string of robberies and assaults here, so we have been told to be vigilant and report anything suspicious or strange to law enforcement.

So this woman is really starting to worry me. Is she okay? What is she doing in that car on that parking lot? Why didn't the car have license plates on?

My next stop during the day was at a school, that so happens to have a police station attached to it. So I went into the station, and reported the incident to the officers there. I told them everything I knew: The color of the car and the make and the model. I also gave a description of the woman sitting in the car. They told me that they would look into it.

I really hope everything works out, and that she is okay! It would be horrible if something happened to her. You might think "Well, couldn't you just have contacted the woman yourself, instead of reporting it to the cops?"

Note the part I wrote further up about the string of robberies and assaults. I am not really looking to be beaten down or robbed, so I made mental notes and reported it to the appropriate authorities.

In other news: I have dabbled with the idea of moving to another part of Denmark. It has been something I have been wanting to do for a long time, so I think I will do it. I will start looking for a job there, and then take it from there.

Today has been a good day, mentally. I haven't been sad at all. Just extremely tired, but that is to be expected since I was up at 5.45 am this morning. I can sleep in on Friday. I have to be up at 7 am there, which is a lot better than 5.45 am, let me tell you that!

But yeah, I really hope that woman is alright, and nothing bad has happened