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Well, here we are again...

I know that I don't come here often, but I thank everyone who reads and interacts with my blogs. I usually come here to talk about the things that I have difficulty expressing to anyone in person. Or when I need a diversified opinion. Because mostly, the people I interact with in my environment share a monotonous perspective on almost everything.

I have been single and out to the dating pool for a moment now. but I am in dilemma of whether I should keep being open and hope in case i meet my match soon, or take charge and just close myself entirely until I am in a more suitable environment.

Where I am is considered by many nationalities as a state of passage - a temporary residence; temporary job; temporary relationships until they have saved enough money to start their lives elsewhere. And with this mindset coupled with every humans' need to interact with other humans and form attachments, men need "temporary girlfriends." And one of the nationalities best chosen for this is Filipinas! Because filipinas are mostly good-natured, caring, kind of liberated, flexible emotionally, can be submissive, and we do not ask permission from our parents to make our own decisions. Qualities that make us an object of convenience. Sadly, many of us are gullible and naive and even more of those of us who are willing to forgo our own virtues and principles in the name of love (that misbegotten word) or money and comfort. As I think of my "experience" and what I have seen from other pinays here, I couldn't help but think of men here (middle eastern mostly) would they treat women from their own culture they way they treat filipinas? Because I think that they want filipina girlfriends, but when they reach the maturity for them to finally marry, they marry girls from their own culture. Even without romantic feelings. Just pure dictates of their culture. It's a sad affair.

Some well-meaning acquaintances would suggest to give filipino males a chance. To be clear, I never closed my heart on filipino men. I am open to any nationality so long as our values, priorities, minds and hearts align. However, many filipino guys here also are inexcusable. Many of them have families of their own in the Philippines, they convert to Islam here so they could marry another. It would have been ok for the right reasons, but they usually do it without thinking of ramifications. Their excuse: "I want to be happy." And many also want health care workers because HCW have better salary. One guy before wanted to date me, he asked me how much my monthly salary was. I told him it was enough, I am also supporting my parents financially since they both are seniors. Then he said, "but when you are married, your priorities is supposed to be your own family, right?" Damn, we haven't even started dating yet, but he was already initiating control? I mean, why can't they strive harder, finish university and get better jobs so they have better salaries too? "But why work hard when they can just marry a nurse and live comfortably, right?" said one middle aged woman to me before.

So, pray tell me, which direction should I go? I know I sound negative, but no. I am being realistic. I still believe that there's someone out there. Should I take another chance here? Be content with being seen as the temporary girlfriend, or hope and keep wasting my time?

Last year my 3 years relationship with my bf was on the rocks, I asked for a break and found CS. I joined the site and discovered how fun blogging is. Met so many nice people here, made friends with others from different countries, harmlessly briefly flirted with some guys till I met someone who made my days brighter, he made me laughed and do crazy funny things that no one else did. We became very close, gotten to know each other so well, we could talk and laugh about everything...all was great, all we need to do was meet in real life.

He asked to meet up many times but I wasn't ready. We talked and became very close for almost 10 months. During the fourth month, my ex-bf contacted me and wanted to sort things out. I honestly told him I've met someone online and already moved on. Well, online relationship is not really something that could go up against a relationship that had foundation in real life. Things became confusing to me, I cancelled every plans to meet up due to uncleared issues with my ex-bf. Maybe I'm not being honest to myself but I'm honest to them.

I chose to meet and talk to my ex-bf first cos I felt that what we've shared for 3 years deserve a chance to find out if there's still something worth keeping for. I felt it would be then the right time to say goodbye properly in person in a respectful way..then I could meet and hug my online best friend and lover for 9 months in real life and perhaps be happy with him.

My ex-bf came and left again a couple of weeks ago. I didn't have the heart to turn someone down...someone who would do so much to have me and make me feel loved and wanted. Things got sorted as he have wanted...I wasn't 100% on it cos part of me was thinking of someone else.

It's a difficult choice for me. I chose someone whom I've already met and shared my life with over someone I fell in love online who might not feel the same towards me in real life.

That wonderful 9 months will haunt me from time to time ...I will just have to learn to live with it. Sometimes I still have some wishful thinking that maybe just maybe I could meet this special someone in real life someday...I owe him a cup of coffee at least. I know it's wrong and mustn't happen....just me being fruityloopy, I guess.

I really really wish him a very happy life and he will always be my online bestfriend.

To all my friends here, I hope you'll understand and find some lessons to learn from my story.

Merry Christmas to you all....Lovelots, Jx

Prelude:
The other day I had an exchange here with a younger man from another country:

Him: How are you doing?
Me (thinking “what exactly do people expect as an answer to that kind of questions?”): How am I doing what?

Him: It’s hello in English. I thought that you speak English.
Me (thinking “what led to that conclusion?”): Wrong assumption.


And that innocent remark made him to give birth to a tirade:

Him (verbatim): Well your profile is written in English ??? Am I missing something ? You sound very angry ? Divorced , old alone , your children don’t live with you , you sad ugly withered Old skank, you will never find anyone , enjoy being alone all the remainder of your miserable life , you horrible little woman



Yes, I am little. Never thought that it’s something one has to be ashamed of. Anyway, if my counterpart prefers tall, overweight, perhaps obese women, why did he contact me?

Yes, I am divorced. If my counterpart prefers married women, why did he contact me?

Yes, my child is grown-up and lives on her own. If my counterpart prefers 5 generation living under the same roof, why did he contact me?

Somebody, please, can explain me what is it that I don’t understand in this situation?

In any term!

If you said you don't need your opposite sex, mean your heart frozen or your are homo, gay or lesbian.
It doesn't matter how wealthy you are, how independent you are, your mature you are, still you need your opposite sex.

I am woman, and yes, I need man to comfort me. Why do we have to be snob to the world saying that I don't need the opposite sex? and once you have him/her, enjoy it! even if you don't talk much with them.

life is beautiful and too short to be too hard to ourself !

Am I wrong?

I've been in long relationships and I've been single, and I prefer together. I'm not a fussy bloke. I'm tidy, I don't snore too loudly, I notice when she looks good and I couldn't be less bothered if she looks like the Bride of Dracula in the morning. I look a bit of a werewolf myself until the old razor has been wielded. Take me as you find me, and as long as we want roughly the same, we're good.

Single is different. I get invited out to dinner with friends, I don't need to say 'I'll check with the government if we can make it.' I want to work late into the night, my choice. I want to climb a mountain, that's between me and my knees.

Distance relationships combine the two worlds. You have the phone calls, the emails, sending texts whenever you want to share something, but you are still living on your own. I made a long-term decision two days ago because the price was right, the place was right, and the chance too good to miss. It hasn't gone down too well with the government.

Made me wonder. Made any decisions lately, big or small, which pleased you, but might have been completely different if you had to take someone else into account?

Reading the blogs lately I must say I am gobsmacked at the amount of blogs been written,discussed and questioned about ones lifestyle regarding fornification. Surely this is something we should be asking Dr Ruth's column and get the answers we are so eager to know.It is mind boggling that one should permanently have this topic raised time and time again. On the other hand it makes one think that the person/persons posing the question most certainly have lack thereof or yearning thereof.I for one would not want to share my bedroom antics or fantasy with outsiders as it has NOTHING to do with them ,unless you are so deprived thereof that it gives you a thrill just to hear someone else describe the raw or raunchy details ,yet you yourself feel no shame in asking someone to describe the antics blow by blow I am not frigid or a cold turkey but PLEASE I want to keep that very special and personal deed in the bedroom where it belongs. You don't find couples going to the office or meeting and relating what a wonderful or flop bonk they had the night before. Ask these questions and you are bound to get either the answer you are looking for ,or else you are been made a fool of behind your very own back.The less people know about you the more intriguing and mysterious you will be as a lover.

Being sensitive is just normal.
But when it strikes you with pain more often we tend to
get MAD and ask "why me" and beyond that anger ...
comes unexpected. ....like c**se. ..
All you have to do is just cry it out need a hug now.

Is a man who awakens a woman's love without intention of loving her. Read this quote recently and can say it is so well said. Happened to me too and from one I met her on cs, so sad. But after time passed it is much easier to talk about and it remained somewhere far in my memories.
Ladies did u have similar experiences? Lets share them here and save other ladies from such cowards.

(A caveman love story) (fun only)

It was full moon and Sallhhg knew there had to be more to life than the village and picking a good hunter to cook and clean for. She was standing staring at the moon and then

..............................................BAM

For him, it was love at first sight. He clubbed her so gently she saw rainbows, not stars, and he carried her to his cave instead of dragging her by her hair - what a GENT!

It was love for her too, when the rainbows cleared away she knew it the minute she saw the wealth of furs he had heaped in the sleeping corner. Not stiff sticky ones still spiky with blood, either. Properly cured, soft, warm, hardly smelling at all . . .

The moon was full again when he told her she’d have to go back to the village.

“But Hauggh! We do zooby zooms every night, sometime morning! This love!”

“Sallhhg” he said patiently “is been nice, you good good for zooby zooms. But is new moon now. You go.”

“Why?”

“No blood. That show you done, bun in oven, cooking. That mean soon no more zooby zooms, no more happy, nag nag nag. No. Been there. Done that. I make best buns, you lucky girl, but now me must find more ovens, make more buns.”

“But Hauggh! I love!”

So then he sat her down and he patiently explained the whole meaning of life

“World is bakery. Job of young woman is oven, to make buns. Me, Hauggh, master baker. You very good zooby zooms, so you had one whole moon of master baker. If you have bun, you lucky woman. If you not have bun, you defective. If you have very good bun, maybe I bring you back here next year, make more buns? Now go to village - and while you wait for bun, make me a fur for cave, eh? Nice soft one, no smell.”

(aren't we glad we live in modern times?)

When you’re a kid, love is a fire bomb. It shakes the world. She was 16, a giggler with long blonde hair and the kind of figure that suddenly emerges from puppy fat and turns every boy in the area into a cartoon character. Boyooong!

When you marry it’s serious, grown-up, family-building love. Forever stuff. It burns like a steady fire, with occasional flares, but sometimes – the fire goes out. No-one’s fault but you both want flames.

The next time round, chances are she has kids already. The fire burns for the two joined families, but the kids get the seat nearest the fire. Sometimes you have to give up your seat to them.

Central heating looks good. No firebombs, open flames,upheavals, uncertainties, quarrels, there’s warmth instead of fire. You like being together, like each other’s friends, want the same things for the future.

Settling, yes, settling down. My fire-building days are over.

CS has an opinion on everything, but probably not on this.