Hmm... prospective please? Confused. ( Archived) (24)

Sep 30, 2008 8:50 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
MysticalUnicorn
MysticalUnicornMysticalUnicornHamilton, Ontario Canada15 Threads 1 Polls 180 Posts
So there's this guy, I been out with a number of times since we met I think back in May. He gets busy a lot doing his own thing, as do I so seeing eachother isn't that often. He seems nice, respectable, never tried to kiss or hold hands or anything so I assume we're just friends. Few days ago, he tells me he thinks about me, misses me, and wants us to "see where it goes". Apparently on our next date he said to be more affectionate(kiss?) but he didn't MAKE a date with me yet. Also said he wasn't going to date others as he likes me, but that i'm free to date still. And doesn't label us as "together" wont change Facebook status or anything like that. Now I am not one to date around, so i'd date him and just him, but on the other hand, does it sound like a bit of a time waster? I have told other guys interested about this, and said I was going to see where it's going......I guess I believe in honesty.
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Sep 30, 2008 8:53 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
mbcasey
mbcaseymbcaseyNorth Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA68 Threads 7 Polls 16,449 Posts
Time to move on and good luck to you...handshake
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Sep 30, 2008 8:53 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
HJFinAZ
HJFinAZHJFinAZSun CIty, Arizona USA870 Threads 1 Polls 17,068 Posts
Just a senile old mans opinion, but at 22 I think you should be out "LIVING YOUR LIFE"....
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Sep 30, 2008 9:05 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
You're wasting your time with this guy!
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Sep 30, 2008 9:51 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
stevenmature
stevenmaturestevenmatureSomewhere in CA, California USA4 Threads 144 Posts
Totally agree with the others. If this guy really liked you, he would be with you and spending time. This is someone with some whacked way of trying to control you. Move on and go out with the others you mentioned are intersted in you, or just call me and I will take the fastest jet there!!!!

Steve
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Sep 30, 2008 9:58 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
Darkhorseman
DarkhorsemanDarkhorsemanGladstonia ... it's a strange, Queensland Australia40 Threads 3 Polls 1,304 Posts
MysticalUnicorn: So there's this guy, I been out with a number of times since we met I think back in May. He gets busy a lot doing his own thing, as do I so seeing eachother isn't that often. He seems nice, respectable, never tried to kiss or hold hands or anything so I assume we're just friends. Few days ago, he tells me he thinks about me, misses me, and wants us to "see where it goes". Apparently on our next date he said to be more affectionate(kiss?) but he didn't MAKE a date with me yet. Also said he wasn't going to date others as he likes me, but that i'm free to date still. And doesn't label us as "together" wont change Facebook status or anything like that. Now I am not one to date around, so i'd date him and just him, but on the other hand, does it sound like a bit of a time waster? I have told other guys interested about this, and said I was going to see where it's going......I guess I believe in honesty.



Perhaps he read your profile post,

"Someone who can be a friend and not try to kiss me or something."

and,

"I'm looking for: Someone who is down to earth, and not looking for more then a friend. I get along better with "guy friends" but it has to be stictly friends."

Canadian Chicks are as good as Aussie Chicks at asking for one thing and expecting a man to read their thoughts they want another.
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Sep 30, 2008 10:06 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
kamelia
kameliakameliaNegotino, Macedonia15 Threads 1 Polls 574 Posts
MysticalUnicorn: So there's this guy, I been out with a number of times since we met I think back in May. He gets busy a lot doing his own thing, as do I so seeing eachother isn't that often. He seems nice, respectable, never tried to kiss or hold hands or anything so I assume we're just friends. Few days ago, he tells me he thinks about me, misses me, and wants us to "see where it goes". Apparently on our next date he said to be more affectionate(kiss?) but he didn't MAKE a date with me yet. Also said he wasn't going to date others as he likes me, but that i'm free to date still. And doesn't label us as "together" wont change Facebook status or anything like that. Now I am not one to date around, so i'd date him and just him, but on the other hand, does it sound like a bit of a time waster? I have told other guys interested about this, and said I was going to see where it's going......I guess I believe in honesty.


Chemistry happens within the first few dates dunno Someone saying that you are free to date others, sounds more to me like he is keeping his options opened. Whatever happened to being upfront about your expectations when with someone confused Well if you ask me, I don't waste my time like that (as you get older you realize you don't have much time to waste grin ), I am upfront about my expectation and if I am at a point where I want a long term relationship and he is not, then I move on. Plenty of other fish in the see grin
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Sep 30, 2008 10:18 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
shipoker58
shipoker58shipoker58Las Vegas, Nevada USA30 Threads 2,969 Posts
Trust no one. Everybody is guilty untin proven innocent!!professor
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Sep 30, 2008 10:21 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
kamelia
kameliakameliaNegotino, Macedonia15 Threads 1 Polls 574 Posts
shipoker58: Trust no one. Everybody is guilty untin proven innocent!!


I love it rolling on the floor laughing I thought it was the other way around, but now that I think of it, maybe you have a point banana head banger
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Sep 30, 2008 10:24 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
livinglarge
livinglargelivinglargein a good place, Kildare Ireland10 Threads 5,879 Posts
Even if it is hard for you , I would say move on. Life is to short to be waiting for anyone to make up their minds re having a relationship with you. JMOwave
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Sep 30, 2008 10:27 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Hmmm...well one point of confusion for me is your profile statement that you are absolutely only looking for friends...so, is that what you've told him?

If you are in fact interested in more than friendship and have made that clear to him, then he's simply playing with you (and probably has others he's playing with as well). If you are interested in more than friendship and *haven't* made it clear to him, then that could be affecting his interaction with you in a way that may account for his behavior.

Also, I assume since you're separated and have stated unequivocally in your profile that you're only interested in friends, that suggests to me that you're not ready for a serious relationship.

I speak from experience in this respect...laugh wave wink (GG)

wine
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Sep 30, 2008 10:29 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
JimNastics
JimNasticsJimNasticsKingston, New Jersey USA116 Threads 1 Polls 731 Posts
You seem to like him, otherwise you wouldn't have posted the question. So, why not date him ? However, don't fully invest your heart. Keep your options open as well. Date other people too and definitely don't rely on him as your one and only until he is willing to committ the same to you.
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Sep 30, 2008 10:33 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
shipoker58
shipoker58shipoker58Las Vegas, Nevada USA30 Threads 2,969 Posts
kamelia: I love it I thought it was the other way around, but now that I think of it, maybe you have a point



<-------Pragmatist!!
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Sep 30, 2008 12:28 PM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
Weimarlady
WeimarladyWeimarladySouth, Xlokk Malta29 Threads 5 Polls 1,305 Posts
MysticalUnicorn: So there's this guy, I been out with a number of times since we met I think back in May. He gets busy a lot doing his own thing, as do I so seeing eachother isn't that often.


This is the only thing that would have me concerned - if he is legally available and so are you, why not meet up more often and have fun together. Then again, sometimes people are JUST plain busy with other important things in life, men especially.

MysticalUnicorn: Few days ago, he tells me he thinks about me, misses me, and wants us to "see where it goes".


MysticalUnicorn: Also said he wasn't going to date others as he likes me, but that i'm free to date still.


OK, that's his decision, and nothing wrong with what he said - don't wait on him, DO go out and date whoever you like.

MysticalUnicorn: And doesn't label us as "together" wont change Facebook status or anything like that.


Totally nothing wrong with that, why would he do that if you are NOT a couple yet?

I would totally and absolutely relax about it - do my own stuff, hobbies, friends etc, meeting and going out with other guys if there are any, etc. If he calls, have a date with him too. There's no need to write him off yet, but also no need to sit and wait on him or date "just him", why?! (especially since those dates seem few and far in between as of yet)

JHMO
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Sep 30, 2008 12:33 PM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
jbibiza
jbibizajbibizaCasinos, Valencia Spain94 Threads 4 Polls 4,914 Posts
Well it sounds like he´s willing to commit to you, but is afraid to ask you to do the same... have you indicated to him that you don´t want a serious relationship? Maybe he´s afraid that he´ll lose you if he pushes to hard or to fast...
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Sep 30, 2008 10:35 PM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
cmdrgoofy
cmdrgoofycmdrgoofyGrasonville, Maryland USA3 Threads 17 Posts
jbibiza: Well it sounds like he´s willing to commit to you, but is afraid to ask you to do the same... have you indicated to him that you don´t want a serious relationship? Maybe he´s afraid that he´ll lose you if he pushes to hard or to fast...


That's how I read it too. My guess is he has feelings for you, but doesn't want to put any pressure on you to return those feelings. He wants you to choose to be with him because it's what you want.
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Oct 1, 2008 1:32 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
curious0george
curious0georgecurious0georgeMidvale, Utah USA12 Posts
I'd walk, but I'm 38 and am too tired to play games. At your age there are MANY fish in the sea Mystical. When you get older, your options decrease and you settle for less than ideal or ambiguous situations (or not). Don't compromise unless there's something really compelling about him. Just my 2 cents...
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Oct 1, 2008 1:40 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
keytone
keytonekeytonePortland, Oregon USA36 Threads 3 Polls 1,686 Posts
MysticalUnicorn: So there's this guy, I been out with a number of times since we met I think back in May. He gets busy a lot doing his own thing, as do I so seeing eachother isn't that often. He seems nice, respectable, never tried to kiss or hold hands or anything so I assume we're just friends. Few days ago, he tells me he thinks about me, misses me, and wants us to "see where it goes". Apparently on our next date he said to be more affectionate(kiss?) but he didn't MAKE a date with me yet. Also said he wasn't going to date others as he likes me, but that i'm free to date still. And doesn't label us as "together" wont change Facebook status or anything like that. Now I am not one to date around, so i'd date him and just him, but on the other hand, does it sound like a bit of a time waster? I have told other guys interested about this, and said I was going to see where it's going......I guess I believe in honesty.
How does he feel about you being "seperated" does he know? he sure seems to be leaving a lot of open "outs" for some reason. What is your gut feeling?
Good Luck Dear.
;-}
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Oct 1, 2008 2:48 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
Weimarlady
WeimarladyWeimarladySouth, Xlokk Malta29 Threads 5 Polls 1,305 Posts
curious0george: When you get older, your options decrease and you settle for less than ideal


You do?! What for? blues
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Oct 1, 2008 4:42 AM CST Hmm... prospective please? Confused.
jbibiza
jbibizajbibizaCasinos, Valencia Spain94 Threads 4 Polls 4,914 Posts
curious0george: . When you get older, your options decrease and you settle for less than ideal or ambiguous situations


I´m 48 and if anything I´ve gotten pickier.... I would never settle... not fair to the guy and not right for me.
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