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Double standards? (52)

Jun 9, 2020 1:52 AM CSTDouble standards?
Friskyone
FriskyoneFriskyoneSanta Fe, New Mexico, USA289 Threads 28 Polls 6,020 Posts

Double standards?(Vote Below)

- (To Vote: select an option above, then press this button)
Yes
12
48%
No
13
52%
Total Votes
25
Should parents treat siblings, from various genders, differently?
Jun 9, 2020 2:05 AM CST Double standards?
It’s not a straight forward yes or no answer. Parenting varies from culture to culture albeit with many similarities. Where countries have different views and policies on gender it becomes very problematic.
Jun 9, 2020 2:10 AM CST Double standards?
Sir_T
Sir_TSir_TNewcastle West, Limerick Ireland7 Threads 1,109 Posts
All families are different. And my mom gave all of us a clip in the ear when needed.
Jun 9, 2020 2:37 AM CST Double standards?
Friskyone
FriskyoneFriskyoneSanta Fe, New Mexico USA289 Threads 28 Polls 6,020 Posts
Oxycodone: It’s not a straight forward yes or no answer. Parenting varies from culture to culture albeit with many similarities. Where countries have different views and policies on gender it becomes very problematic.
Good pointthumbs up
Jun 9, 2020 2:37 AM CST Double standards?
Friskyone
FriskyoneFriskyoneSanta Fe, New Mexico USA289 Threads 28 Polls 6,020 Posts
Sir_T: All families are different. And my mom gave all of us a clip in the ear when needed.
laugh Same here
Jun 9, 2020 2:42 AM CST Double standards?
Are you referring to mixed marriages or just in general? Is your poll in response to the situation we are having to deal with at present re racism.?

There are many interracial marriages these days and if one teaches humanity and love for others then as the children develop they hopefully will grow with a basic understanding of living within a community

The same should apply to any marriage but as Black history is sadly missing in the curriculum in Schools it's difficult for a child to understand slavery, apartheid in South Africa and segregation in America..

Racism is alive but it's within ourselves , black or white ,to learn to respect others and live side by side.


Hope I haven't strayed away from your direction.handshake
Jun 9, 2020 3:03 AM CST Double standards?
Friskyone
FriskyoneFriskyoneSanta Fe, New Mexico USA289 Threads 28 Polls 6,020 Posts
germanspitz: Are you referring to mixed marriages or just in general? Is your poll in response to the situation we are having to deal with at present re racism.?

There are many interracial marriages these days and if one teaches humanity and love for others then as the children develop they hopefully will grow with a basic understanding of living within a community

The same should apply to any marriage but as Black history is sadly missing in the curriculum in Schools it's difficult for a child to understand slavery, apartheid in South Africa and segregation in America..

Racism is alive but it's within ourselves , black or white ,to learn to respect others and live side by side.


Hope I haven't strayed away from your direction.
wave No, that's ok. I was just referring "in general".

peace
Jun 9, 2020 3:13 AM CST Double standards?
ChesneyChristonline today!
ChesneyChristonline today!ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK7,240 Posts
Parents tend to hit boys a little more and explain to girls how whatever happened made someone feel bad.

Teach to the boys that all that effort could pay off in the real world it’s not just the thought that counts. A sea of pointless tasks that just like to see you try is more a woman than a man.
Jun 9, 2020 3:35 AM CST Double standards?
treating boys and girls differently is not what i see as double standards , why?

we dont have gender less individues yet that is one of the agenda of the shadow government
Jun 9, 2020 4:31 AM CST Double standards?
ChesneyChrist: Parents tend to hit boys a little more and explain to girls how whatever happened made someone feel bad.

Teach to the boys that all that effort could pay off in the real world it’s not just the thought that counts. A sea of pointless tasks that just like to see you try is more a woman than a man.
Did you ask me if I hit my son?
Jun 9, 2020 4:32 AM CST Double standards?
If I had a daughter she wouldn't be allowed out until I died laugh
Jun 9, 2020 9:04 AM CST Double standards?
My sister and I were treated differently. I am four years older than her. We are like night and day. She has a cavalier attitude and takes things with a grain of salt. Sometimes I worry too much and look at things from every direction but I'd rather take the safe road when making a decision.

I excelled in school whereas she was a wild child. My parents, especially my father wanted me to be the perfect child, to never make a mistake in life and to never give anybody a reason for them to talk about me in a negative way.

He was so obsessed with me being a perfect child that he beat me with a belt mercilessly when I was very young, thinking that he was teaching me a lesson. He never beat my sister even though she sassed him back, rarely went to school and stayed out all hours of the night.

When he learned that I was going to be divorced he was upset because he wanted me to be the only one in the entire family that didn't go through a divorce. Funny thing is that he picked out the man he wanted me to marry. I tried to get out of marrying that man but my father was controlling and I better do what he said cause daddy always knows best. thumbs down

So yes we were treated differently. My father favored me, my mother favored my sister because she felt sorry for her. sigh
Jun 9, 2020 9:47 AM CST Double standards?
tomcattyonline today!
tomcattyonline today!tomcattyocean city plymouth, Devon, England UK99 Threads 2 Polls 2,462 Posts
secretagent09: My sister and I were treated differently. I am four years older than her. We are like night and day. She has a cavalier attitude and takes things with a grain of salt. Sometimes I worry too much and look at things from every direction but I'd rather take the safe road when making a decision.

I excelled in school whereas she was a wild child. My parents, especially my father wanted me to be the perfect child, to never make a mistake in life and to never give anybody a reason for them to talk about me in a negative way.

He was so obsessed with me being a perfect child that he beat me with a belt mercilessly when I was very young, thinking that he was teaching me a lesson. He never beat my sister even though she sassed him back, rarely went to school and stayed out all hours of the night.

When he learned that I was going to be divorced he was upset because he wanted me to be the only one in the entire family that didn't go through a divorce. Funny thing is that he picked out the man he wanted me to marry. I tried to get out of marrying that man but my father was controlling and I better do what he said cause daddy always knows best.

So yes we were treated differently. My father favored me, my mother favored my sister because she felt sorry for her.
Jun 9, 2020 9:51 AM CST Double standards?
tomcattyonline today!
tomcattyonline today!tomcattyocean city plymouth, Devon, England UK99 Threads 2 Polls 2,462 Posts
I'm surprised you say your father favoured you, after you said he beat you mercilessly, am i missing something??????????
Jun 9, 2020 9:59 AM CST Double standards?
tomcatty: I'm surprised you say your father favoured you, after you said he beat you mercilessly, am i missing something??????????
Sometimes when you cherish someone you go to the extreme to show that you care.

If you read where I said he wanted me to be perfect, to never do anything that would cause people to talk about me in a negative way, that was his way of favoring me...........protecting me from gossip.
Jun 9, 2020 10:14 AM CST Double standards?
tomcattyonline today!
tomcattyonline today!tomcattyocean city plymouth, Devon, England UK99 Threads 2 Polls 2,462 Posts
secretagent09: Sometimes when you cherish someone you go to the extreme to show that you care.

If you read where I said he wanted me to be perfect, to never do anything that would cause people to talk about me in a negative way, that was his way of favoring me...........protecting me from gossip.
Ok Secretagent.
Jun 9, 2020 10:25 AM CST Double standards?
secretagent09: My sister and I were treated differently. I am four years older than her. We are like night and day. She has a cavalier attitude and takes things with a grain of salt. Sometimes I worry too much and look at things from every direction but I'd rather take the safe road when making a decision.

I excelled in school whereas she was a wild child. My parents, especially my father wanted me to be the perfect child, to never make a mistake in life and to never give anybody a reason for them to talk about me in a negative way.

He was so obsessed with me being a perfect child that he beat me with a belt mercilessly when I was very young, thinking that he was teaching me a lesson. He never beat my sister even though she sassed him back, rarely went to school and stayed out all hours of the night.

When he learned that I was going to be divorced he was upset because he wanted me to be the only one in the entire family that didn't go through a divorce. Funny thing is that he picked out the man he wanted me to marry. I tried to get out of marrying that man but my father was controlling and I better do what he said cause daddy always knows best.

So yes we were treated differently. My father favored me, my mother favored my sister because she felt sorry for her.
As I know nothing except what you have posted ,may I ask was your Father a bully and was your Mother afraid of him ,as I could never stand by and watch one of my children be physically attacked mercilessly . by a belt. He certainly would not have selected my husband for me either.confused
Jun 9, 2020 10:59 AM CST Double standards?
germanspitz: As I know nothing except what you have posted ,may I ask was your Father a bully and was your Mother afraid of him ,as I could never stand by and watch one of my children be physically attacked mercilessly . by a belt. He certainly would not have selected my husband for me either.
My father was a bully that ruled with an iron fist.
My mother loved and worshiped the ground he walked on.
She wouldn't dare tell him to stop beating me.
If she did he would yell and scream at her so she backed down.

As for selecting my husband this goes back to 1958 when I met my husband. I married in 1962 when society was very different than it is now. My father worked in the same business that my husband was in so he knew him very well. He thought my husband-to-be would be a rich man someday and that is why he pushed me into the marriage.
Jun 9, 2020 11:01 AM CST Double standards?
Taralynonline today!
Taralynonline today!TaralynFunk Island, Newfoundland Canada53 Posts
My parents raised us to know that there wasn't any gender specific chore to do. My brothers washed dishes just the same as my sister and I. We, in turn, helped pack away wood when we had a wood furnace and 20 cord of wood was delivered.
Myself, I have 2 daughters and 1 son. They are treated the same. No one gets away with something that the other 2 got punished for (my girls say my son is spoiled because he's the baby). Sometimes it's all due to perception and not necessarily a double standard.
Jun 9, 2020 12:01 PM CST Double standards?
secretagent09: My father was a bully that ruled with an iron fist.
My mother loved and worshiped the ground he walked on.
She wouldn't dare tell him to stop beating me.
If she did he would yell and scream at her so she backed down.

As for selecting my husband this goes back to 1958 when I met my husband. I married in 1962 when society was very different than it is now. My father worked in the same business that my husband was in so he knew him very well. He thought my husband-to-be would be a rich man someday and that is why he pushed me into the marriage.
How sad for you Secret, and for your Mother to be so blind sided by love she overlooked a terrified child.I hope you came out of it well and hope it didn't reflect too much on the upbringing of your own children ,as sometimes this can have a knock on effect and I'm not referring to the beatings.

I was engaged on my 21st Birthday in 1961 but broke it off 6 weeks before the wedding as my future husband was a Mummy's boy. My dad was upset but very understanding as I told him " Dad you visit for afternoon tea on Sunday's I have to live with him for the rest of my life"

My parents divorced during the war when I was 5 and it had a huge affect on me but my Father whom I lived with was extremely proud of me and my achievements and scholarships, and I like to think that he was the person who taught me ethics and manners. He was also a great dancer bless him.handshake
Jun 9, 2020 12:33 PM CST Double standards?
LeeCharming
LeeCharmingLeeCharmingCardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK445 Threads 199 Polls 446 Posts
What do you mean various gendersdunno Only two biological genders existidea
I think Boys and girls will be treated differently and should be treated differently...cause they are biologically differentwow
Jun 10, 2020 6:41 AM CST Double standards?
Friskyone
FriskyoneFriskyoneSanta Fe, New Mexico USA289 Threads 28 Polls 6,020 Posts
secretagent09: My sister and I were treated differently. I am four years older than her. We are like night and day. She has a cavalier attitude and takes things with a grain of salt. Sometimes I worry too much and look at things from every direction but I'd rather take the safe road when making a decision.

I excelled in school whereas she was a wild child. My parents, especially my father wanted me to be the perfect child, to never make a mistake in life and to never give anybody a reason for them to talk about me in a negative way.

He was so obsessed with me being a perfect child that he beat me with a belt mercilessly when I was very young, thinking that he was teaching me a lesson. He never beat my sister even though she sassed him back, rarely went to school and stayed out all hours of the night.

When he learned that I was going to be divorced he was upset because he wanted me to be the only one in the entire family that didn't go through a divorce. Funny thing is that he picked out the man he wanted me to marry. I tried to get out of marrying that man but my father was controlling and I better do what he said cause daddy always knows best.

So yes we were treated differently. My father favored me, my mother favored my sister because she felt sorry for her.
wave
Oh my goodness! Your dad had high expectations for you. Beating you with a belt or anything else is horrible. The favoring of one child over and vice versa just had to be difficult to live like that.sad flower
Jun 10, 2020 6:52 AM CST Double standards?
Friskyone
FriskyoneFriskyoneSanta Fe, New Mexico USA289 Threads 28 Polls 6,020 Posts
Taralyn: My parents raised us to know that there wasn't any gender specific chore to do. My brothers washed dishes just the same as my sister and I. We, in turn, helped pack away wood when we had a wood furnace and 20 cord of wood was delivered.
Myself, I have 2 daughters and 1 son. They are treated the same. No one gets away with something that the other 2 got punished for (my girls say my son is spoiled because he's the baby). Sometimes it's all due to perception and not necessarily a double standard.
That sounds a lot like my upbringing. I have one sisterr r. She is 6 years younger than me. We don't have the same dad. My mom was previously married to an abusive man, my biological father whom I've never met. So when my dad met my mom I was a toddler. He never once ever made me feel like a stepdaughter. He is my dad and I'm his daughter. Although my sister and I are technically "step sisters" we have never thought anything but the the fact we are sisters even though we weren't biological. My dad is a good man.heart beating
Jun 10, 2020 6:55 AM CST Double standards?
I don't understand the question. confused
What do u mean various genders?
There's only 2. dunno
Jun 10, 2020 7:04 AM CST Double standards?
Friskyone
FriskyoneFriskyoneSanta Fe, New Mexico USA289 Threads 28 Polls 6,020 Posts
LeeCharming: What do you mean various genders Only two biological genders exist
I think Boys and girls will be treated differently and should be treated differently...cause they are biologically different
I had a childhood friend. She had one brother and she older than him. They're dad would give her brother a lot more leniency. For example, I remember him saying things like "boys can stay out later curfew and attend certain events". He felt that boys can "take care of themselves more the a young girl and that girls would be looked down upon her as being helpless to defend herself and that she was a hussy and he didn't want family, neighbors, etc to see her doing the same as other kids because he felt that he would be judged by them. I felt sorry for her because she thought it was unfair.
Jun 10, 2020 7:07 AM CST Double standards?
Friskyone
FriskyoneFriskyoneSanta Fe, New Mexico USA289 Threads 28 Polls 6,020 Posts
Lasagna: I don't understand the question.
What do u mean various genders?
There's only 2.
I'm sorry, I didn't word that correctly. If you read the post after your question, I explained it to Lee. I accidentally skipped over your post/question by accident.

wave
Jun 15, 2020 10:27 AM CST Double standards?
You should have ONE standard that your family lives by. One of common decency. But boys and girls should definitely be raised differently.
If you don't know why you maybe shouldn't have children.
Jun 15, 2020 10:31 AM CST Double standards?
tomcattyonline today!
tomcattyonline today!tomcattyocean city plymouth, Devon, England UK99 Threads 2 Polls 2,462 Posts
Friskyone: Same here
I used to clip my sister around the ear when she didn't shine my shoes laugh laugh laugh
Jun 15, 2020 10:42 AM CST Double standards?
It's not the gender, it's the character of the child, that should be under consideration.

As example: a clever child, who listens and learns, who understands the connection between action and consequence, who behaves responsibly, should be given more freedom.

A child, who doesn't listen, who expects someone else take responsibility for its actions... well, it's Lee Charming and shouldn't be let out from his mother's basement. As in "ever".
Jun 15, 2020 3:39 PM CST Double standards?
dillydally
dillydallydillydallyBehind the hills and Burns ..., Strathclyde, Scotland UK81 Threads 4,433 Posts
There's 7 of us in my family . I'm 5th youngest , only 2 girls my sister and I , back to back but 4 years apart . Then my youngest brother .

My dad treated me like my elder brothers , for some reason he couldn't transition from boys to a girl , until my sister was born 4 years later . My faither leathered me a lot , used to pull me about by hair , just drag me to the room he was lobbing me in . My sister started to see it , don't know what age but she stood in my faithers way and did the shouting back thing . He stopped using hands , just objects and words. But never in front of another soul. Then he get caught on the nanny cam dragging me down the patio by my hair .It changed when I had my boy , but he never saw it , he never understood that I was not like him and my brothers . Yet my sister is exactly like my brothers and our faither doesn't care . It's bloody bizarre .

Anyway ,I think it depends on the person in the long run . The rules from girl to boy are very different , but not in a bad way . Rate of growing up is different , boys are quicker at the start and I think it takes longer for girls to catch up , but then we mature faster but with no break in between , am I making sense ?! laugh

Anyways , sorry for the super essay . I really thought this through , didn't I laugh bouquet
Jun 15, 2020 3:40 PM CST Double standards?
dillydally
dillydallydillydallyBehind the hills and Burns ..., Strathclyde, Scotland UK81 Threads 4,433 Posts
Tulefell: It's not the gender, it's the character of the child, that should be under consideration.

As example: a clever child, who listens and learns, who understands the connection between action and consequence, who behaves responsibly, should be given more freedom.

A child, who doesn't listen, who expects someone else take responsibility for its actions... well, it's Lee Charming and shouldn't be let out from his mother's basement. As in "ever".
My friend laugh bouquet I think I love you a wee bit .....

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Created: Jun 9
Last Viewed: 7 hrs ago
Last Commented: Jun 19
Last Voted: Jul 8

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