Hey, look at it this way: If it weren't for all of us uncouth and uncultured cretins you wouldn't be able to enjoy the sense of superiority that you so richly deserve.
(Actually, I've always appreciated anything that is done well, whether it suits my personal tastes or not.)
He writes: I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.
This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.
'Man, that guy is stupid,' I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed. Give her the finger? I don't effing think so!
That's kinda' the way I look at it. I put myself into a self imposed exile from drinking during the week - won't even touch cough syrup - when I'm on the road. But I do enjoy beer and the time of day never has really mattered to me...
I almost invariably show respect to and for others and I appreciate it when the same courtesy is extended to me.
Having said that, I'll admit to sitting here at 07:18 on Sunday morning and drinking a Corona for breakfast, so I don't really know how respectable that makes me.
Well, it's been 1 month and I think it still applies...
Although I am wondering: If I were to use candles for lighting - Would that be more or less environmentally friendly? (I mean, I wouldn't be using all the electricity and stuff, but I'd still be burning things and therefore adding to greenhouse emissions - Right?)
Oh, and I'd choose the power of invisibility... Just to watch people freak out when an 80,000 pound truck with no apparent driver passes them on the freeway.
Mountain lions are indigenous to the Americas and more closely resemble panthers (another name for them) than they do African lions. Also called cougars, at one time they could be found from Florida to Washington state.
Yes, I watched flipper as a kid. I can't really see what that has to do with anything, though, as I was in Kansas and 1500 miles from the nearest ocean. And to my knowledge, I still haven't personally offended any dolphins. (And I can't apologize for what I haven't done.)
1. A mountain lion because of their solitary habits and huge territory/range.
2. My family and friends would understand.
3. No need to apologize as I've never shown dis-respect to a dolphin. (How would one offend/dis-respect a dolphin anyway? -- Would you say something insulting? -- "Yo' mama looks like a fish!")
One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose.
"Oh please excuse me," said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see."
"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"
"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!"
The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of animal are you?"
The snake replied that he didn't know either, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?"
The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, "You're cold, you're slippery, got a forked tongue, and you haven't got any balls...
Yep, it's good stuff alright! I started with Arbuckles because of the historical connection, then found that I was addicted to the smooth, wonderful flavor. Unfortunately, at 12 bucks a pound (16 for ground), I don't drink as much of it as I'd like to and reserve it mostly for camping/rendezvous. (It makes the best camp coffee I've ever had in my life!)
I'm a fan of gourmet coffee, but don't indulge as much as I used to. Mostly, I stick to a couple of old favorites: "Hazelnut Dream" and "Arbuckle's -- The coffee that won the west."
Also, I prefer to grind my own, but don't have much of grinder right now, so I have to settle for store-ground coffee.
I have a camera. Just no desire to post a video - Can't quite bring myself to believe that anyone would be much interested in a one-sided conversation from me...
(For all those who recently got hit with several inches of snow.)
Up by Lake Itzokold, it was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when Lena got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home.
She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She remembered a friend's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard, she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift. This made Lena feel much better and sure enough in a little while, a snow plow went by, and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow, she was feeling very smug as they continued, and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.
After quite sometime had passed, she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right, as she had been following him for a long time.
She said that she was fine and told him of the advice she'd received to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.
The driver replied that it was OK with him, and she could continue if she wanted...but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to Kmart next!
Not too well, I'm afraid. Since I started back to work, the weather on the weekends has been pretty crappy. And the soil is saturated to the point that I can get muddy just looking at the garden. Darn shame too, since I only have a couple of good hard days worth of work left to get it in shape for planting...
I'd give the biggest part of it to one certain member of CS.
Then I'd throw a party and invite everone else to come - Heck I'd even pay travel expenses... Provided they lived within a half mile radius and didn't mind walking.
1. I'm generally the friendliest, most easy going person in the world.
2. I'm only trouble to those who are looking for trouble.
3. I'm not single, I'm one of the luckiest guys on the face of the planet. (Back when I was single, it was only because I hadn't met my other half yet.)
The re-birth in Spring when the soil warms and growing season starts. The lazy dog days of Summer canoeing the Clinch River. The crisp mornings of Fall when things start to slow down in preparation for hibernation and we're rewarded with a show of colors unrivaled in any painting. The cold dreary days of Winter when many a wonderful day is spent sharing the warmth of friendship beside a fire or cuddled together with a loved one in front of the tube.
Yep, at different times and for different reasons, every season is my favorite.
Well, as (another) truck driver, I too find my cell phone to be invaluable. The time and money - not to mention illnesses I've avoided - it has saved me over finding/using payphones would literally mount into the tens of thousands of dollars.
Having said that, and being the O.P., let me state that while I use my phone when I drive, I always use my hands free device/headset and my wife can tell you that I don't even like talking, period, when I get into heavy traffic. (And I'm also a big fan of the bumpersticker that says; "Hang up and drive!" as well as a few less polite ones I've seen.)
I've witnessed more accidents and near misses caused by cell phone usage and/or texting than any other bit of stupidity - And I've seen a lot of that, from teachers grading papers to men shaving and nearly everything imaginable in between.
The fact that someone can injure themselves while texting and walking to the point that they feel a need to pad lightpoles and/or paint lines on the sidewalk scares me to the point that I think that anyone who gets injured that way should automatically lose their drivers' license - Before they injure/kill someone (besides themselves) with their vehicle.
The_Kansan Forum Posts (3,395)
RE: It's too bad
Hey, look at it this way: If it weren't for all of us uncouth and uncultured cretins you wouldn't be able to enjoy the sense of superiority that you so richly deserve.(Actually, I've always appreciated anything that is done well, whether it suits my personal tastes or not.)