trish123 Forum Posts (13,724)

RE: Thursday Laughs

just found these;

For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set

2. A day without sunshine is like, night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges

10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

11. Remember half the people you know are below average.

12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

20. I intend to live forever - so far so good.

21. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

23. My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

26. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

27. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

36. The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.

37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

43. Two wrongs are only the beginning.

44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

48. Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!

49. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.

50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...

53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

54. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

RE: Thursday Laughs

have a good day you two and see you later - im off into the garden soon wo wage war on those flippin weeds.

Aimara, a Mexican maid announced to her Boss Mr Blanco and his wife that she was quitting. When asked why, she replied, "I'm in the family way."

The wife was totally surprised and shocked, and asked who it was.

The maid replied, "Your husband and your son."

Mrs Blanco was mortified and demanded an explanation.

"Well," Aimara explained, "I go to the library to clean it and your husband say, 'You are in the way'. I go to the living room to clean and your son say 'You are in my way'. So I'm in the family way and I quit."

RE: Ahh .. look at all the lonely people

Hiya Doug I hope you are well and happy

thanks for your post, it reminded me of a song by America

This is for all the lonely people
Thinking that life has passed them by
Dont give up until you drink from the silver cup
And ride that highway in the sky

This is for all the single people
Thinking that love has left them dry
Dont give up until you drink from the silver cup
You never know until you try

Well, Im on my way
Yes, Im back to stay
Well, Im on my way back home (hit it)

This is for all the lonely people
Thinking that life has passed them by
Dont give up until you drink from the silver cup
And never take you down or never give you up
You never know until you try

RE: Thursday Laughs

RE: Thursday Laughs

not rocking yet but well on the way !!! didt get up till close to 9 - i got a new dog last week and a friend visited last night and brought him a present - a squeaky toy - he just ignored it in preference to the doggy treats she also brought - that is, he ignored it till about 4 this morning when i heard that he quite likes it really

RE: Thursday Laughs

Hiya Hun

RE: Thursday Laughs

mornin cousin - hows you today

RE: Thursday Laughs

Morning All - just on my second coffee so nearly awake now - late start busy shopping n thinking yesterday



did somebody mention school?


It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "

That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"

"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.

The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."

"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.

"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.

"Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.

"Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.

The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"

With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

Better Late Than Never - Hi !

really good thanks - i hope all is well in your neck of the woods too

RE: Something else

Hi Dude - life is great thanks i feel totally satisfied today from a whole day of my fave activity yesterday - shopping

hows you doin

Better Late Than Never - Hi !

Hiya J

Better Late Than Never - Hi !

Mornin Belle - have you finished the book yet?

i had a late start today was tired out after a really hectic day yesterday and have so far only had one coffee - am about to remedy that any second now - i went shopping for things for my friends wedding and found a closing down sale - oh it was heaven everything a fiver and my friend had just given me £80 she owed me - i got six skirts and a dress - woo hoo - all for 35£ - so thats me sorted for ages

Better Late Than Never - Hi !

Hi and thanks for your message. I was a bit like that about joining in at first too but soon got over it. Im looking forward to you poking yr head round the door and hope you get the chance often

as for the mornings - it has to be coffee - good n strong n a lot of it - at least 2 mugs before i am on form then just one more for good measure - i must be addicted

RE: " Hi everyone "

Hi Star - great to have you on board and i am looking forward to meeting you in the forums

Better Late Than Never - Hi !

Hi there Star thanks for your message

Mornin Chris

RE: death

and gathering momentum - or is that higher energies - god but i wish i was better at quantum physics - wheres that Bob when you need him?

Better Late Than Never - Hi !

Thanks Everybody - sorry for the delay, been out then got into another discussion - I wasnt ignoring you doctorlove

RE: death

no but i bet there are some hereabouts who wish they could for our blasphemous comments

thats organised religion for you though - if the apologists fail - send in the army - its all just fear based mythology -imo

we will know the answer when our time comes and i am pretty excited about the adventure - not afraid cos i committed the sin of blasphemy - or any of the other sins i have committed either - children out of wed-lock - naughty naughy me - shhhhhh.....i ate meat on friday once too

RE: death

i dont know!! maybe its conditioning

we call one thing plant energy, another earth energy, we have love energy, people energy- all of these things existing at different vibrations - i prefer to call it the great onenes and it is all of us and everything included.

I personally think it infinitely more important to find a balance in these matters than to spend time in conflict of any magnitude


Habit and tradition have so far, demanded adherence to recognised values - thinking outside of the box in the religious sense has'nt really been with (or allowed) the common wo/man for much longer than compulsory education so its effectively early days - prior to that, they were forced for centuries to think of themselves as 'lowly' and lesser beings, unknowledgable and unworthy - that is what i think may be called 'negative energy' - but its all cyclical anyway - 'for the times they are a changin'

RE: death

oops - done it again - death - maybe we continue as a different form of energy

RE: death

Hi Quiescent

I most certainly do not want to offend anybodys beliefs but i do agree with Quiescent to a great extent and differ only in that i dont actually think there was much choice in the matter of agreement - we got burnt at stakes if it was only whispered that we were dissenters, the old religions were outlawed and life for the families of believers was made a living hell - is it any wonder they went underground and the 'religion' with the most powerful armies of the day became rulers - to each their own i say

RE: which comes first, love or money

for me its love every time - we could work together at the money thing

Better Late Than Never - Hi !

Thanks for all your messages

It was a bit crazy really - i got me in a muddle - just started posting then gave myself a guilt trip for chickening out on the introduction thing - so eventually did it

RE: Getting Old

RE: Getting Old

well, i can only speak for myself here. At the grand old age of 53 i am finding more and more stuff to laugh about every day - ive done my crying and worrying hopefully and now is the time to enjoy the fruits of those labours - if you dont laugh you will probably end up crying n i reckon positive attitude feeds itself n vice-versa - took me ages to figure that one

RE: madeleins minute of hope

part of me wants to agree with you there but another bit of me says that may be the quick way out once they are caught - i think life behind bars with no privilidges may be better- i simply dont know as i dont feel qualified to judge here - my head is coming up with 'cruel' punishments but i think that may make us as bad - theres medication and surgical interevntions too - i just have no idea.

I just hope what we have all just done has some effect

RE: madeleines minute of hope

positive thoughts for a speedy resolution to finding this poor little love

RE: madeleins minute of hope

same as you, i dont do praying either but i am just going to be sending positive thoughts - it doesnt really matter to me what they are called - sick people indeed but it could be a woman too

RE: madeleins minute of hope

10 mins to go

RE: madeleines minute of hope

30 mins to go - maybe we can keep this on top for half an hour