smoky Forum Posts (9,412)

RE: lizard expert?

Well of course! One day, when your Ghekky Gitface reaches full maturity, then another Ghekky is gonna come visiting ...... you should hear some sabre rattling noises, and then, I dunno how long it takes, but one day, somewhere, will be some teeny weeny little white eggs ...... and teeny weeny cute tiny littly wittly ghekkies are gonna climb out and face the big brave new world!

Maybe they move to the kitchen, or the dining room, or whichever room is not-occupied by another Ghekko - and then that will be their home ..... only one occupant per room.

If they are Lizards that live on the floor remember to NOT suck them up in the vacuum cleaner! And don`t walk around after dark with the lights off, you may step on a "grape".

RE: lizard expert?

Nothing to worry about .... they lay their eggs somewhere and then the little Ghekky Gitfaces have to leave the area immediately after birth or their Mama eats them ... or Papa eats them, if they in his/her turf .....or something else eats them .. or they grow up and go live in your neighbors house.

RE: lizard expert?

Ahhh .... it only walks around on the floor? Then it`s a Lizard, and so will not fall on your face or down your throat while you sleeping with your mouth open ......

But be careful of walking around at night in the dark ...... it feels like you walked on a grape - if you step on her/he ... Ghekky Gitface, nice name. Wonder how many babies Ghekky will have? Ghekkos have two, dunno about Lizards .......

RE: how to attrect man...?

There`s two of them ... which one doesnt know how to attrect a man .....?

RE: Portugal 2012 - England starting 11 ..

Oh excuse me, but ..... one kick in the nuts or knees and Lewis McGugan is Old News. Very fragile these players are .. at least they could be more safely secured in appropriate clothing, rather like the jousting Knights of Olde....?

So much more fun .... to see them gallavanting over the field in suits of armour.

RE: The World cup might remain in Africa.

Now .. really darling ... WHO really cares? A ball is a ball is a ball, and those highly paid guys to kick it around .....? By next year everything is forgotten anyway .....

RE: How is your day today?

My day was ..... hauling the trailer to the farm shop to buy a crate of beers.

Before, in the olden days, I could bribe old men to do this for me .... in exchange for a free beer to drink on the way home. But now they not happy any more to haul me and the crate back. They simply do not make old men of the same quality as before!

RE: Words that MUST contain the letter Y

Roly-Maloneys ....

RE: is it a big deal... and after hours

Okay, here`s where I get all serious and reveal to you the Mysteries and Secrets of Life.

Go talk to some big old trees, and tell them your problems. You got any big old trees in Malta? Old trees are very wise beings.

Then you say a heartfelt genuine Thank You for whatever it was you asked for .... Then you go out and look for it ..It`s there, just waiting for you to find it ......

RE: is it a big deal... and after hours

Sounds like he`s smoking the same stuff as Phoenix....? ... Soul on a Pole ..... ...... and then not even offering some heartfelt sympathy to the OP searching for lurve ...... .. Love on a Rope? Soul on a Pole?

RE: Words that MUST contain the letter Y

SNIFFY

RE: Words that MUST contain the letter Y

smelly ......

WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?.. Part 2 ....

Conrad! No wonder you got no grandkids....! Wooden Mallets are not good .... I use a fly swatter!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?.. Part 2 ....

Searching the internet for the Kitty sized Hand grenades.....

....While waiting to attend a primary school "theatre" production .... ... OMG .. been hearing the same old lines for the last 2 months! Be interesting to see if the grandkid girl can actually act in front of strangers! Likes to be a Drama Queen at home ....... First gonna have a Whisky to dull the pain to come .....

RE: ex-pats what do you miss?

Nope, nothing ... except my favourite fattening snack called "Nik-Nax" ... and BOEREWORS! .... with WHITE maize, not the yellow Polento stuff ... Real African food!

RE: Words that MUST contain the letter Y

GAY ... and happy.....

RE: rice or pasta dishes

Ah ... that sounds nice and easy! I`m going to try it this Wednesday night ... when Loverboy comes here for a haircut and something to eat ...... will let you know how it came out....

RE: How Sad

Hi Ragworm ... My hand is not up. I`m here cause I been here SO long this is like my second ... or third ... or fourth .... family....

I found myself a very nice man, right here in my home village, and only when he is out playing his Swiss Sport things I log on and see what my "other family" is up to......

Lots of new people, some of the oldies still here ... it`s sort of like attending a Family Re-union thing ... for me .... just a habit?

And the scary/wary part is ..... I gotten to that stage in life when I never know if I`m going to maybe need my friends one day...? Friends are good to have, worth keeping, very precious beings.

And then again ... I like to remind you all of the fact that if I could find a good partner ... then ALL of you can as well!

RE: Non-Smokers...would you date a smoker?

So, what exactly are you ... ing about?

Non smokers who whinge about a bit of tobacco smell on another person .... is tobacco worse than strangers sweat...? ... huh..? ...or horse sweat...?...or rotting flesh in guts...?

Tobacco is at least a clean smell - Not toxic, and life threatening ... just like a normal smell. Unless of course one considers the Esteé Lauder/Channel/Revlon smells to be "normal", in which case tis yourself who has the problem with what is "normal" and what is "natural".....

Like, here in CH, we suddenly got this Big New Law about Non-smoking in restaurants, and I don`t mean modern chrome/glass restaurants, I talking Old Fashioned Been in Operation Since 1300`s .... and suddenly no-one is allowed to smoke inside.

Okay, so no-one smokes inside, all us smokers sit outside and smoke. Except now, the restaurants are closing down .. why?.. Cause the Non-Smokers who objected to Smoking are just not patronising the restaurants ...(?).. WHERE are all those Non-Smokers who wanted the restaurants to be Smoke-FREE?..HUH?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?.. Part 2 ....

..... Don`t do it at a garden party wedding until you really good at it!.....

RE: Ladies...does the car a guy drives make a difference?

Most definitely!

I would NEVER go out with a guy if he arrived driving a Ferrari! It`s too ostentatious and would give anyone seeing me the idea I only going out with the guy cause of his car!

If he has the money to own a Ferrari, then he surely has the money for an old rust bucket that belches smoke and backfires?... even if he has to hire one for the evening......

RE: Non-Smokers...would you date a smoker?

Well, I would NEVER date a non-smoker! They are not ecologically minded, in fact they are a painful race of narrow minded bigots bent solely on their own satisfaction and sterility.

They don`t complain about auto-fumes, toxic air-"fresheners", the wearing of other people`s and animals body smells (perfumes based on distilled sweat (of famous people) with extracted secretionery glands from animals who die painful deaths eventually), oil spills in the oceans, artificial fertilizers, genetically modified foods, battery bred food animals, incompetent politicians, alcohol over-consumption, etc etc ..... long list shortened....

So ..... thank God for smokers! At least their breath only smells of smoke!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?.. Part 2 ....

Just got back from walking all round the Rhine Falls - it is in FULL spate ...masses of water barreling down, was going to take the boat across the river, but found a bridge and walked, spent the boat fare on beer in a lovely cool garden restaurant....

RE: stop stop !!! lol

I really do not like trains.

And then I had to take a train to Austria - from Zurich.

No one told me that they dont call Austria "Austria" in Europe.

So I was in the train, sitting down, but checking with everybody that THIS train was going to Austria ... and one lady said "NO! Ees gos du Osterreichgh!" ..... god, I nearly wet my pants! .... but the train was already moving so I just sat back and thought "What the hell, wherever its going I`m going! got no choice in the matter now"

That was the day I discovered that Austria is called Ostereich in Europe.

RE: Love story

Nein, you dont pretend anything! You are either Odd or you are not. If you are Odd then you never pretend, unless you deliberately want to confuse someone who is not odd and want them to do a vanishing act.

By just being Yourself, you are being Odd! Very few people actually get to Be Themselves ... they all trying to be Someone Else, to be "normal".

Oh okay, so just be yourself, and then you will be normal!

RE: Would younger women date older guys?

Darling, the only retirement you would have, once Chick-wife leaves, and she WILL leave, she aint sticking around to wipe the dribble off your lips ...... will be the same old retirement home for men you are trying to avoid in the first place by having a chicky-doo-wife.

Nein, go find a big fat middle aged lady about your age, who knows how to cook, is only too happy to have a MAN in her life, will wash and iron your clothes, keep the house clean, and gaze at you with worship in her eyes ....... At least you get to keep your retirement policies intact, the house, the car, your savings, etc etc.

RE: Love story

Ah dear Conrad, tis all in the ACTING! You gotta act normal. Doesnt matter if you are not normal, you just gotta watch what everyone elese is doing, and then copy them!

I refuse to copy others, so that is why everyone thinks I am Not Normal.

That way, I dont get asked to look after their kids, or their pets, they dont ask me to cook for them, or do anything ... wonderful life, to not be normal.

RE: a microchip for live 120 years

Oh really? ... a microchip to keep you alive? They havent yet invbented anything to keep you young, so why would one want to be kept alive and growing OLDER?

The whole reason for this invention is to get ALL your money out of you before you die. TRUE FACT! Once you die, you generate NO more income for the medical profession .... but ... if you can be kept alive and breathing then you gotta consume medicines and "food" ......

Same as with teeth. The reason the dentist doesnt just pull out your rotten tooth is because once that tooth is gone, its another installment on his holiday home/holiday/new auto ... gone!

RE: Love story

Well, Conrad is not really normal, he just tries to act that way. Actually you got to try and act normal, cause there is no such thing as really normal ........ normal is doing what everyone else is doing, and when you dont do what everyone else is doing then they say you are not normal, which is actually quite nice, to not be normal.

RE: Love story

Normal is what I am. The rest of you are not normal.