Yes distance is something some are able to cope with.
Personally, I don't travel well and could not begin a romantic involvment with someone far from me, if I were in a relationship I would want and need to see them every week at least and I am not prepared for anything other than friendship long distance.
I don't think it matters how or where you meet anyone.
It is just that as has been said, spending too much time getting to know someone online can be very disappointing.
I have been very disappointed in meeting people, as they were so far removed from what they conveyed and I percieved as to be totally different in so many ways.
I see nothing wrong in meeting someone on the internet, but would say from my point of view, if you are interested romantically in them, web cam with them, talk to them on the phone and meet as soon as possible!
I think that's the hardest thing to put up with, the fact that you thought you had married for life but despite best efforts and years of trying (23 in my case) it all goes wrong and all is lost.
Try as you might to detach yourself, it is not easy.
But I think you can heal and date, if you have the sense to talk to the one your with in general terms and not as you say about ex's. Your past should be revealed over time, not in the first date!
Yes I agree and when you share your stories that is all part of learning to know who someone is and as you say part of what helps us heal. But that is not whining.
The fine line varies for all of us, but in one of my circles of friends it is called Celia syndrome (I am not atributing this to all Celia's!). This was someone we all listened to over and over again and helped all we could, but it became evident to us all that the person just wanted constant attention and to the point of whining to all of us and then turning on the charm when the men were around! I could also say she gave next to nothing back to any of us.
That is not to say that I expect anything back from someone who has needed time or help. I find it comes back in a round about way sometimes. Sort of what goes around comes around.
As to friends needing friends, that is just an ongoing exchanging of chat and caring. Not always continual, but knowing you can just sometimes touch base with a hello, how are you.
Continual whining is neither attractive nor condusive to wanting to spend too much time around someone.
We all have times when we need support from friends, or need to help comfort someone in emotional turmoil or just the problems shared syndrome. That is part of all our lives and and a normal caring way to relate to each other.
But to constantly whine and call for attention for no good reason, to me shows a very needy person which drains your energy and ultimately turns me for one away.
Don't get me wrong, there have been times when if wasn't for my friends, I am not sure how I would have got through things and I am always here for anyone who may just need someone to chat to, or help in any way physically that I can.
But we all have to realise the world does not revolve around any one of us alone and ongoing pity me, look at me, come gather to me, whining is not at all attractive to me personally.
SirenLydia Forum Posts (4,138)
RE: Change Anything
That was desparate talk there girl!!!!.....