Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, "Doctor, I have a s*xual performance problem. Can you help me?"
"Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!" announces a proud physician, "They just came out with this new wonder drug that does the trick! You take some pills, and your problems are history."
So the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry way.
A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the street.
"Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly, "I've got to thank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful! I've had sex fourteen times in eight days!"
"Well, I'm glad to hear that" says the pleased physician, "What does your wife think about it?"
"Wife?" asks the man, "I haven't even been home yet!"

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks. After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained.
"Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church. Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question
"Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church. Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.
"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me!"
"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"
"That's okay," says the husband, "We were banned from the supermarket, too."

"A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. ""But officer."" the man began, ""I can explain,"".

""Just be quiet,"" snapped the officer. ""I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back...""

""But officer, I just wanted to say...."" ""And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!""

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, ""Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding.

He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."" ""Don't count on it,"" answered the fellow in the cell. ""I'm the groom.""

After all of the fighting on this site for the last few days, I thought a little humor might lighten things up!


My husband, an avid golf player couldn’t help challenging my boastful son to a game of golf. He was in for quite a surprise when on the first swing my son got a hole in one. “OK” my quick-thinking husband said while subtlety winking at me “now, I will take my practice shot, and then we will start.”

Two guys were playing golf, one of them was about to swing the golf club when he noticed a funeral procession going by on the street. The man stopped in mid-swing and closed his eyes and said a short prayer. The other man truly inspired, remarked, clearing his throat, “wow that was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.” “Well”, the other man said “I was married to her for 35 years.”


Joe was a steward for Fly High airlines. He watched as an older lady boarded the plane holding a dog in a cage. “Excuse me,” said Joe “dogs are not allowed on board, you have to check it in with the baggage.” The lady wasn’t happy, but Joe was an experienced steward and succeeded in convincing the lady without much of a scene. Upon arrival, Joe took a peek in the cage, and to his great surprise, saw that the dog was dead! Frantic that they may get sued, Joe quickly sent one of his underlings out to town to buy a dog that looked exactly the same. Just in the nick of time the underling arrived with the dog They quickly switched dogs and breathed a sigh of relief. “This isn’t my dog!” said the lady as soon as she saw it. “I’m sure it is” insisted Joe “I was very careful about where I put it.” “It’s not my dog” argued the lady, “you see, I was bringing my dog to my home town to have him buried, and this dog is alive!”

EVERYONE HAVE AN AWESOME DAY! AND DON'T FORGET....LIGHTEN UP!

I'm looking for Halloween events here in Amman...found some interesting parties in some pubs, restaurants and hotel but mostly on Friday night 10/30/2015... I'll be working

I found one on Saturday...but it's for little children, even my son won't be interested in it

Halloween is not a big deal here

Any Halloween date yet?

however, I do like to share things that make me laugh out loud LOL

Some people just never give it a rest, can’t get a word in edgeways, constant ear bashing... blah, blah, blah all the time!



What phrases do you know that say.... SHUT the f*ck up!

Oh!... Did I mention that I’m a blabbermouth?

I love this one!

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. 'Want to have some fun?'" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." "Thank you!" the woman responded. The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say,"Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?" One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"

So I am sitting online while my speaker phone plays music with static. Awhile back I was informed my wait time for an operator will be approximately 39 minutes. TG for speaker phones. I remember the old days when a recording like that meant you had to actually hold the phone that whole time. Not any more. Speaker on, do what you want.

So yes, I am noticing we now have 3, count them, THREE, CS members who suffer from a condition I call dailypostthisitis. Every calendar day they MUST post a new question blog or a photo. If they do not terrible things happen to them.

Two of these poor unfortunate souls daily post questions on serious (to them) topics such as 'do you believe in sunrise?,' 'can birds really fly?,' 'do men like women with no hair?.' 'do women like men with no hair?.' 'do men like women who own televisons?.' 'gorls, do you like men who own tellivisions?,' etc., etc. Now these two cases are female, so perhaps this is why questions are their symptom of the disease as the only male here with this condition makes pictorial statements. I have communicated with that long time sufferer many times and he is aware of and making headway in dealing with the symptoms. Not so the two females alas. The root causes of dailypostthisitis are not fully understood, but it is probably related to empty lives and loneliness coupled with a belief the Internet isn't real. We wish these women well in coping with the symptoms of this terrible malady.

I have something ridiculously important to accomplish today which is why I am (still) holding on my phone. You see this past Friday I, for the first time ever, learned my pension began over a year ago. Previously, for those in my situation the old rules were no pension until age 62. But a few years ago Congress changed that rule and for my situation my pension begins at age 60. Someone forgot to tell me that. Yeah, I am not a happy camper. To actually get the money all I have to do is complete an online form and enter certain information my former employer has provided. Yes, I remember getting that letter 20 something years ago and placing it under a desk blotter for safekeeping. If my memory is correct I believe one of the cats used it and the blotter as toilet paper 15 years ago. Alternatively one can contact their former agency and collect the needed information there. Hmmm, a problem surfaces. There were some major re-organizations after 9/11 and my old agency simply no longer exists with different functions (three of which I handled in more peaceful days) going to other agencies. So, after 2o something years, which one has my data? So with a half completed online form, I sit on telephone hold while I try to find my data, so I can complete the form and get my money. Aaargh. This is call two. The first one kept me waiting for over an hour before a human told me not his agency and provided this second phone number which is where I am sitting today. Will my pension money be supplied retroactively to the day it was supposed to start (if someone had bothered to tell me of the rule change it would have), or have I simply lost a year's worth of income? I dunno yet. That will be my next question to find out an answer to, after I locate the missing data. Since I am again (needlessly with the new pension law) battling my bank to avoid foreclosure, a big fat check about now would be really nice.

The airline had a policy that required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a - 'Thanks for flying XYZ airline'.

An airline pilot on this particular flight hammered his plane into the runway really hard. In light of his bad landing, he had difficulty looking the passengers in the eye, all the time he thought that a passenger would have a smart comment. However, it seemed that all the passengers were too shell shocked to say anything.

Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, 'Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?' Why no Ma’am,’ said the pilot, 'What is it', the little old lady said, 'did we land or were we shot down?'