Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife came up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.
But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!"

WARNING:



Everyone - please raise your glasses and join me in toasting our antique man…a gentleman of high principles, one who never gives in to any temptation, so modest that no matter how hard I tried, he never posted a shirtless photo. This man is a real deal…somebody out there will be very lucky to have this gorgeous junk…errr I mean hunk!

Here’s to JOHNNY who turns 43 today …




Please have fun, be merry, get drunk, get stoned, get lusty… tonight is the night!

This party is sponsored by the following:

For your own protection, please grab a packet or two before you join the VHS area and watch any of those lusty movies that Robert and Big Richard have prepared…and Charlie Hoarse is giving away free weeds and cigars tonight...keep it safe!!!


For those who would like to liven up the party, please fill up the form and wear the following shirt:




In our “ adult” area, Angel is giving away, for FREE …accessories that could help you feel comfortable and enjoy the party, so don’t hesitate to grab any of these should the need arise.





For those who feel they are too old for this party, please proceed to the pool area. Foods and drinks are all free but don’t forget to give Ken a big smile when you grab some those yummy BBQs…he’s in charge of the grill and the dancers… Ken, fire it up!

The first male and female who greets Johnny in comments section will take home a fantastic surprise gift!!!

Angel is paying the bill so eat and drink all you can and have fun everyone!

176, 177, 178.....how did I end up here, writing a blog?

The stupid pills I am on not only cause night sweats but also insomnia....lucky for me, because it usually took me an hour to get to sleep before these pills.

179, 180, 181, 182......looks like I just got some extra sheep for my flock.

The first bull says, "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain't' givin' him any of mine."
The second bull says, "That pretty much says it for me, too. I've been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we've agreed are mine. I'll fight 'im till I run him off or kill 'im, but I'M KEEPIN' ALL MY COWS."
The third bull says, "I've only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to "take care of". I may not be as big as you fellows yet, but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows."
They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the biggest Son-of-Another-Bull these guys had ever seen! At 4700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point.
The first bull says, "Ahem...You know, it's actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our new friend."
The second bull says, "I'll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I'm certainly not looking for an argument."
They look over at their young friend, the third bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting up a storm.
The first bull says, "Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."
The third bull says, "Heck, he can have ALL my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'M a bull!"

He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9Iron"

Abby looks around and doesn't see anyone. "Ribbit.9Iron."

He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! he hits it 10 inches from the cup.

He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog reply's "Ribbit. Lucky frog."

Abby decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" he asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood."

Abby takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one. He becomes befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, he golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next? "

The frog reply, "Ribbit, Las Vegas." They go to "Las Vegas and Abby says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit, Roulette."

Upon approaching the roulette table, Abby asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, Ribbit. $3000,black 6."

Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, he figures what the heck.

Boom! Tons of cash come sliding back across the table. Abby takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful."

The frog replies,"Ribbit, Kiss Me."

He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it.

With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.

"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room."

Will You Pay and Stay?

Few weeks ago, I joined another dating site but didn't pay a membership fee. Many male members viewed my profile and sent me messages but except for one or two free replies, I wasn't given access to the messages nor reply them. They said I need to upgrade to be able to connect with my potential mate... What a waste of time!

Like I said over and over again, I'm not looking for a date but I do get bored sometimes so I look at other dating sites and read if there's anything interesting there.

There are many dating sites that you can join for free and some of them have "chat" room...something that we don't have here.

Some of those that profess and boost countless of success stories charge from $40 - $60/month and give a good discount if you pay up for a 6 month membership. Are these sites any better than CS? Just because you pay for your profile, does that mean you are safe from scammers? Is your chances of finding a "soul mate" any higher?

I briefly checked out few online dating sites and I found all of them lacking...unattractive site, poor screening, fuzzy images, a lot of advertisements. Therefore, I conclude that CS is the best dating site ever.

So, if we are to pay a membership fee here, would you stay ? I'm only here for the blogs so I guess my membership fee will be a lot less than those who are looking for for their soul mate and those who are using the Forums, Polls, Games etc...

This joke is for Minerva.

Two bowling teams, one all blondes, one all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.

The brunette team rides on the bottom level of the bus, the blonde team rides on the top level.

The brunette team, down below, is wooping it up and having a great time until one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs, and she decides to investigate.

When the brunette reaches the top, she finds the blonde team staring straight ahead at the road, frozen in fear, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

"Whats going on up here?" asks the brunette. "We're having a great time downstairs!"

"Yeah," screams a terrified blonde, "but you've got a driver!"

Recent email sent to me by friend who always has some good ones!
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AGREED.....
This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral...

A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he worked for most of his life. A huge heart..covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter.

When all eyes stared at him, he said, 'I'm so sorry...I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist!'

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror,stare at myself and repeat
I do not have a headache;
I do not have a headache,
I do not have a headache.'
It worked! The headaches are all gone."
"Well, that is wonderful," replies the husband.
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
She's not my wife.
She's not my wife.
She's not my wife!