Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
Monday needs some cheerful signs.
Posting these, then over and out. Night all.
A sign in a shoe repair store in Vancouver read:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place."
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
Sign on the back of a Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
A sign in a shoe repair store in Vancouver read:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place."
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
Sign on the back of a Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
DEAD CROWS
I love birds and so took this seriously when I first got it in email from a friend ...but reading on,see the joke ...this one's for Nam with his Truckin Blog! 
'
Mysterious Crow Deaths
'
A fact you won't soon forget...Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.
However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.
By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
He very quickly concluded the cause:'
When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
They discovered that while all the look-out crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."
: 
'Mysterious Crow Deaths
'A fact you won't soon forget...Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.
However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.
By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
He very quickly concluded the cause:'
When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
They discovered that while all the look-out crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."
: 
That is right....
A man died and went to heaven.
As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, 'What are all those clocks?'
St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks.
Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.'
'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?'
'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.'
'Incredible,' said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?'
St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.'
'Where's President Obama’s clock?' asked the man.
Obama’s clock is in Jesus' office.
He's using it as a ceiling fan.
hahahaha
~JOHN~
As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, 'What are all those clocks?'
St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks.
Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.'
'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?'
'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.'
'Incredible,' said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?'
St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.'
'Where's President Obama’s clock?' asked the man.
Obama’s clock is in Jesus' office.
He's using it as a ceiling fan.
hahahaha
~JOHN~
WOWSER!! Nosy People All Around!!
I'm an admitted people person but I won't stare at people to "size them up". I mean, like who cares what they look like, what they're wearing, how they appear ,i.e., are they rich or poor or what kind of car they have!
I'm an old dude and I don't really "dress to impress". During the week I get off of work where I have a dirty job since I'm a janitor. On the weekends I dress with cut-offs if the weather is warm or just plain old flannel pull ups. The shirt is usually a T-shirt.
It makes me laugh to hear people say, "Look at that silly old man and his outfit". Stuff like that and whether I look homeless because my clothes are dirty and messy. Or as you cross the street in the crosswalk your getting the look over by someone who is talking to their fellow passenger and now they're both staring.
I love it. I look right at them give them the peace sign and smile. Yes, I need a shower and I need to change my clothing but, later man later!!
I once met this beautiful young woman who said to me when I complimented her because she was so nice. She replied, "I know what I look like but one day I will be old and ugly. That's why I treat people like I hope I will be treated in my old age".
A very wise young woman. When I see people smirk at me I think about what this young woman said.
I'm an old dude and I don't really "dress to impress". During the week I get off of work where I have a dirty job since I'm a janitor. On the weekends I dress with cut-offs if the weather is warm or just plain old flannel pull ups. The shirt is usually a T-shirt.
It makes me laugh to hear people say, "Look at that silly old man and his outfit". Stuff like that and whether I look homeless because my clothes are dirty and messy. Or as you cross the street in the crosswalk your getting the look over by someone who is talking to their fellow passenger and now they're both staring.
I love it. I look right at them give them the peace sign and smile. Yes, I need a shower and I need to change my clothing but, later man later!!
I once met this beautiful young woman who said to me when I complimented her because she was so nice. She replied, "I know what I look like but one day I will be old and ugly. That's why I treat people like I hope I will be treated in my old age".
A very wise young woman. When I see people smirk at me I think about what this young woman said.
online today!
nothin done without money
am so ashame I went to the restaurant to purchse a meal for just 300 $ jmd. I stood in a long waiting line with urge to pay my cashier .no sooner I was there standing in front the cashier with just my 300$ . I order a mini lunch which consist of only rice n peas and French fry chicken just then I trust my 300$ through the tinted glass window to a cashier in disguised . who suddenly push back the money to me .she said: have you not see how much a mini lunch cost ?
I said : yes I gave you 300$ dallors .
she said; lady this lunch is for 350$ , our lunch special price have increase since January 2015.
I STOOD froze as other customer was just behind me waiting to be served , I searched in my mind if I have had any silvers left over in my hand bag , but the truth is that I went in with just 300$.
a sudden shame cloth my face and all eyes were on me. I was well dress up as if I have it all with lip stick that paint perfectly on my lips not to mention my classic make -up and Brazilian hair extension , my red heels and a classy white dress that sits comfortable on my hips.
my day gradually became dim when one kind gentle man came over to me and said here is a 50$ help to pay for your lunch..
I said: thanks in a bold voice as if I knew him long time . sitting at the table waiting for my lunch , in seconds it was delivered to me . I start to dig in that chicken and rice.
accidentally I bit something peppery.it must have being cooked in the rice or something. I was used to pepper but this was generally hot and burning like Furness of fire:
omg . I need water I ask the waitress for it she said: Miss , water is for 100$ . we don't give water we sell it!
shame shame I put the lunch in a garbage bin and step out
what to do. in my bag I only have a mint sweet and that's not good with pepper.
The Drought Is Broken!
A far-off cousin farms in one of the driest regions in this country. Last week, when it rained there for the first time in 19 years, his 17-year-old son experienced rain for the first time.
When he heard the thunder and saw the lightning, while the water poured from the sky, he thought it was the Lord coming. He fainted with fear.
It took three buckets of sand to get him conscious again.
The lad is expected to recover form his ordeal, but with the scarcity of water, it was decided to do away with his under pants and trousers.
When he heard the thunder and saw the lightning, while the water poured from the sky, he thought it was the Lord coming. He fainted with fear.
It took three buckets of sand to get him conscious again.
The lad is expected to recover form his ordeal, but with the scarcity of water, it was decided to do away with his under pants and trousers.
A Forbidden Love Is Sweeter
When somebody tells me to go to hell, I gladly try to oblige, but I never get further than the gates. Whenever I get there, they lock and bar the gates on first sight. The first time that somebody sent me to hell, I seduced the devil’s wife and he (the devil) withdrew my visa and forbade me ever to set foot in that place again.
I am the persona non grata #1 in hell. They have life size photos of me at the gates to prevent me from sneaking in there on the quiet. Believe me, I have tried several times to get back in without any success; I have a real soft spot for his wife. Why is a forbidden love so much sweeter?
As I don't qualify for heaven, there is nowhere else to go after death. As such, I am forbidden to die and doomed to live forever.
I am immortal!
I am the persona non grata #1 in hell. They have life size photos of me at the gates to prevent me from sneaking in there on the quiet. Believe me, I have tried several times to get back in without any success; I have a real soft spot for his wife. Why is a forbidden love so much sweeter?
As I don't qualify for heaven, there is nowhere else to go after death. As such, I am forbidden to die and doomed to live forever.
I am immortal!
online today!
lol
A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers.
He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an aircraft.
The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news.
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers.
About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I’m getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump.
He told me to get off the plane or he’d kick my a**."
"So, did you jump?"
"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go.
Finally he called over to the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds.
He said to me, "Boy, are you gonna jump or not?’
I said, "No, sir. I’m too scared. ’"
"So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his old boy out.
I swear, it was about a foot long and as big around as a baseball bat!
"He said, "Boy, either you jump out that door, or I’m sticking this little baby up your a**. ’"
"So, did you jump?" asked the father.
"Well, a little, at first. . . . . . . . .
He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an aircraft.
The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news.
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers.
About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I’m getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump.
He told me to get off the plane or he’d kick my a**."
"So, did you jump?"
"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go.
Finally he called over to the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds.
He said to me, "Boy, are you gonna jump or not?’
I said, "No, sir. I’m too scared. ’"
"So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his old boy out.
I swear, it was about a foot long and as big around as a baseball bat!
"He said, "Boy, either you jump out that door, or I’m sticking this little baby up your a**. ’"
"So, did you jump?" asked the father.
"Well, a little, at first. . . . . . . . .
skype
i am online on skype , just share your i.d with me for comedy..............................
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
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