Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says, "How is the singing career going?" Stevie Wonder says, "Not too bad, the latest album has gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it is pretty good. By the way how is the golf." Nicklaus replies: "Not too bad, I am not winning as much as I used to but I'm still making a bit of money. I have some problems with my swing but I think I've got that right now." "I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing for a while and think about it, then the next time I play it seems to be all right," says Stevie. "You play golf!?" asks Jack. Stevie says, "Yes, I have been playing for years." "But I thought you were blind; how can you play golf if you are blind?" Jack asks. " I get my caddie to stand in the middle of the fairway and he calls to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him, then when I get to where the ball lands the caddie moves to the green or further down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice," explains Stevie. "But how do you putt?" Nicklaus wondered. "Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddie to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball to the sound of his voice." Nicklaus says, "What is your handicap?" "Well, I play off scratch," Stevie assures Jack. Nicklaus is incredulous and says to Stevie, "We must play a game sometime." Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously so I only play for money, and I never play for less than $100,000 a hole." Nicklaus thinks it over and says, "OK, I'm up for that. When would you like to play?" "I don't care - any night next week is OK with me."

When I was younger, my teachers and doctors must have thought I was awesome because they kept telling me I was "special"

50 grayish shades…back and forth, back and forth…in and out, in and out. A little to the right, a little to the left. She could feel the sweat on her forehead….between her breasts, and trickling down the small of her back…. She was getting near to the end!! He was in ecstasy….with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved…..forwards then backwards, forwards then backward…..Again and again. Her heart was pounding now.. Her face was flushed, she moaned,..softly at first, then began to groan louder… Finally, totally exhausted she let out a piercing scream.. She shouted………. “oh for heavens’ sake man!!!! I cannot do this parallel parking….YOU DO IT!!

A man sat at home one day and looked at the sun. He wondered where it went at night so he hatched a plan. He would watch the sun! He woke early the next day and went to the top of the hill next to his house and folded open his chair and sat. 7 o'clock came and he had some tea and toast. 12 o'clock came and he had his sandwiches. 5 o'clock came and he had some soup. 8 o'clock came. The sun had begun to set over the horizon. He waited and waited. The sun went down. He waited and waited and waited until... it dawned on him. Gotcha!

Following the news that advertising on dating sites will have to more accurately depict the members I managed to download the new log-out page for CS

No offenses intended! Need to lighten things up around here.


Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work...

You feel like the morning after, and you didn't go anywhere the night before...

Your knees buckle and your belt won't...

You can only burn the midnight oil until 9 o'clock...

The twinkle in your eyes is the sub hitting your bifocals...

Your back goes out more often than you do...

And another sure-fire way to know your geting older is when...I forgot.

God doesn't always choose to flaten the mountain...but He has promised to help you climb it!

Don't tell God how big the storm is...tell the storm how big God is!

More is accomplished by folding the hands...than by wringing them!

Even in our messes...God blesses!

When we start kneeling down...things start looking up!



Good friends are just one of the little blessings God gives us to enjoy! So let's enjoy the blessings of each others friendships?

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.

The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance.



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Feeling sleepy, feeling hungry, feeling bored...I have no idea what is it that I want at the moment...


What about you? ...

..... .... ...A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you're bad luck."....... .... .............................. ....... .... A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer : Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer : Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer : I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer : Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer : Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer : You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer2 : Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too...