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It's a beautiful Monday morning here. Have a great day and an even greater week ahead CS peeps!!

“And this over here” croaked the 90 year old museum tour guide, “is a fossil 4 million and 69 years old, on it’s left you can see another fossil that’s 2 million and 69 years old.” “Wow! That’s really fascinating,” said a fellow in the audience, “how can you age it so accurately to the year?” “Well that’s simple” answered the old chap, “It was two million years old when I started working here 69 years ago.”

“Hi Sarah, listen I only have a minute. I’m about to get picked up for a blind date, can you call me in a half hour just in case it’s going bad? Yes? Ok great! We’ll speak.” Raquel gave herself a quick spray of perfume, checked herself out one more time in the mirror, and headed outside to wait for the guy. Sure enough after twenty minutes Raquel was discreetly checking her watch. After ten more long minutes her phone finally buzzed. Raquel listened for a few seconds, grimly pursed her lips, and turned to her date, “I feel terrible, but my Grandmother is terribly sick, and I must go home now .” “No problem!” Said her date with a big grin, “in a few more minutes my dog was going to get run over!”

The neighbors thought it was odd, but 93 year old Morton was dating again. One Monday morning Morton woke up with a funny feeling that something important happened last night. It was during breakfast, that Morton finally remembered what it was. He had proposed to his date Greta. But what she answered he just couldn’t seem to remember. Morton picked up the phone and dialed. “Hi Greta”, said Morton, “I have a funny question for you, do you remember last night when I proposed?” “Oh my gosh” gushed Greta, “I’m so glad you called, I knew I said yes to somebody but I just couldn’t recall who it was!”


"C’mon Ma you have got to try it” I pleaded to my elderly Mother. I don’t know how my Mother lasted this long without ever using the internet, but enough was enough! I thought. “Ok” she said reluctantly settling down by the computer and slowly putting on her reading glasses “what do I do now?” “Now I’m going to open the home page of google”, I explained. “OK here it is! Now type in ANY question you want into the bar over here and you will find an answer to your question.” I confidently assured her. My Mother looked at me warily, thought for a second, and slowly began to type, How is Gertrude doing this morning?

Answering machine message,
"I am not available right now,
But thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some
changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call,
you are one of the changes."

~~~~~

My wife and I had words,
but I didn't get to use mine.
~~~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses
without your glasses.
~~~~~

Blessed are those who can
give without remembering
and take without forgetting.
~~~~~

The irony of life is that,
by the time you're old enough
to know your way around,
you're not going
anywhere.
~~~~~

God made man before woman
so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my
elders,
but it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
~~~~~


Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~

A drunk man who smelled of beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned”, Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father..I was just reading here that the Pope does."




MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.

Yes, what if...there was no Monday, can you imagine this world we live in without a Monday?...Then what, ask yourself, then what, mmm! we'll be mad some kind of different as today

Oh no...IS DAMN TUESDAY

Little Bob went with his mom to church every Sunday. One morning in the middle of the service Bob complained that he was feeling a bit queasy and was afraid he was going to puke. “No problem dear,” whispered his Mom in his ear, “just head on over to the bathroom on the other side of the Church, and take care of it there.” Thirty seconds later Bob came back. “Did you go to the bathroom?” question his Mom. “No need” responded Bob. “Right outside the door was a big box with a sign next to it ‘for the sick’, so I just did it in there!”

This blog has absolutely nothing to do with much of anything; I'm bored. I did feel like going in a rant about something but quickly realized how insignificant it would actually be. People dont even read your profile so the chances of reading the Blah of a hopeless romantical lunitic are slim to none. Throw in the fact I'm a horrible speller and even those with the most remedial education will quickly pass it by; and on to view pics of men and women who most likely don't even exist. If you do happen to read this. Pleas tell me you like the color orange.

Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older:

Number 7 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 6 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 5 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 4 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 3 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 2 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 1 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.


...and as someone recently said to me:

Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

I just love to at some of the blogs on CS! Some are informative or entertaining, but others are just plain -IDK!. Don't get me wrong, but don't these people know how to write and spell? And the topics! Some are GREAT, but some are simply dumb, and done! People post a blog to say HELLO or I'm BACK. Why, people even post a blog to say goodbye! Goodbye, hello, jello...anything goes on the blogs.

I love when people get in fights on blogs. Come on, admit it. It's better than television. You don't have to admit you find it interesting maybe you even have a crush on the blogger who is being bashed or is bashing . Is that why you are on CS all night and don't get any ? Or maybe you are the one in the thick of it all and your blood is boiling so bad, your quick comebacks have never been BETTER.

Its funny how people will leave the topics of the blog just to talk to each other ...and how they compliment each other on their photos, or they say something clever, or funny They also jump on to comfort when someone sings the blues . There are posters with the in their heart and others who are s. You can always count on them to save the day - or blog!

But why do people report the interesting blogs before we can read them? They get taken down and we never get to find out what happened in the fight! I mean that can be frustrating when a good friend disappears right in the middle of a ! Yep, people get deleted too and often we don't know why. .

There's lot of talk about on the blogs. Single people are often or have problems and some of the things they say are just . We share and to commiserate, but its hard to sip through the screen ! Sometimes there is but it is hard to get a bite . Usually things are , but someone better not step on your toes ....HEY! Aww, thats okay we all make mistakes!

At times there's trouble on the blogs and the meanies say really bad things. People get hurt and want to leave or report. It can be tough but we have to keep the . We need to share the and appreciate the in each other.

Its when people leave. We tell them we will miss them and to come back soon to CS! We'll have a ! Wow, I mean saying goodbye is !!!

There's a lot of heavy thought in some CS blogs . Someone will pose an interesting question or debate and things start geting good. But then an crashes in and breaks the mood You know, they'll thunder in and say something off-the-wall that hijacks the blog. That's when ya say : ! Everybody is now following the elephant. (You know, there's an elephant in the room?) Or maybe a ...

Aren't you glad no one can see you at your monitor, when you are reading or posting? Some of us look like this or this or this and this ! Best to keep it secret!

Lots of flirtatious bloggers (so keep an eye out- you may meet the love of your life) but sometimes there are that just go on and on... kinda like this blog.

Just be sure to bring the because you never know what's popping, especially if a well known blogger is another story! He also hosts a blog party afterwards, and sometimes there's . I keep trying to get a bite, but I never can.

- BLOG WATCHER