online today!
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
online now!
There are people in America who think that Trump is the current president. But...the small detail is, he's not in the White House right now. Confusing? Going with that thought, if he's the president and already serving his second term that would mean he's not eligible to run for 2024.
There are people in America who think that Obama is directly pulling the strings of Biden, effectively running the office of the president. Would that be like Nancy Regan running the presidency when Ronald was in the early stages of Alzheimer's?
So Obama gets to run the presidency now making it a 3rd term and when Biden wins the 2024 elections, assuming he's still breathing, effectively Obama will be president for a 4th term.
When questioned, one Trump supporter was stumped about who is president:
Direct link to Twitter/X:
Pretty funny...
No supply chain issues involved.
online now!
I used to think it was universal that parents taught their young children number one was pee and number two was poo, but some kids just point to the front or back!
online now!
When invited to a party or holiday celebration you should have a snack at least one hour before the arrival time. Many times parties start later than expected and you will be famished and hungry enough to consume enough food for 3 people. Being a little hungry is the best setting so you can control your intake, especially if you hibernate after eating a huge meal on an empty stomach!
Dress appropriately. Formal means formal. Jeans aren't formal. Many settings are casual. Inside parties are different. Wear something nice. unless it's poolside, leave the cutoffs and flip-flops at home. Don't go to a dinner in the same clothes you did gardening in.
Don't talk politics... unless you want to start a feud and have the cops come to break it up!
Happy Thanksgiving!
online today!
The language is such that often it implies we did stuff that we actually had little or nothing to do with..
Such as....
I grew my hair long. No you didn't, you just didn't cut it.
I hurt my arm. What, did you like take a hammer to it?
I grew my fingernails. Did you? Really?
I fell asleep. Did you take a class to learn how to do that?
I went to the bathroom. Partially correct. Only partially.
I didn't digest lunch so well. Probably was sleeping through that class too.
feel free to add your own......
Today in The New Yorker;
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Agrees to Be Interviewed for New Book by Joe Biden
By Andy Borowitz
September 11, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a decision that surprised many political insiders, Donald J. Trump has agreed to be interviewed for a new book by Joe Biden.
According to Biden, the book will be “an in-depth examination of the Trump Presidency, with special emphasis on his handling of the coronavirus pandemic and his comments about the military.”
Trump said that, when Biden approached him about the book project, “I moved on it very strongly.”
“This is a fantastic opportunity for me, quite frankly,” Trump said. “It’s going to be a major book, and I think Joe is going to make me look really good in it.”
Asked about the logistics of the interview, Trump said, “Joe told me to call him up late at night and just start rambling. This is the kind of thing I’m really, really good at, because I’m very smart.”
Biden’s book, titled “Don’t Vote for Donald Trump,” is set to go on sale a week before the election.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
I wonder if the "stable genius" will also allow Rosie O'Donnell to interview him for her new book, 'Azzhole in the White House'.