Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

So four dudes spend weeks planning the perfect camping and fishing trip to a remote and disconnected spot.
Two days before they are due to leave, Dave's wife puts her foot down and tells him he's not going.
His buddies are naturally pissed off that he can't go, but what can they do, they decide to push on
Two days later the three fellas arrive at the remote camp site to find Dave sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, beer open and fish cooking on the fire. Steve: 'Damn man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?'
Dave: 'I've been here since last night.. Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who..' I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see-through nightie. She then took my hand and led me to our bedroom.The room had two dozen candles and rose petals all over. On the bed were handcuffs and ropes!She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, so I did.'
'And then she said:' 'Do whatever you want.'....So here....I am

This is some hilarious stuff. Women...take notes.

One day, the police raided a whole group of pro*stitutes at a se*x party in a hotel and Lulu was among them:
The police took them outside and had all the pro*stitutes lined up along the driveway when suddenly, Lulu"s grandma came by and saw her grandaughter.
Grandma asked. "Why are you standing in line here, dear?"
Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Lulu told her grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some.
"Why, that"s awfully nice of them. I think I"ll get some for myself." And she proceeded to the back of the line.
A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the pro*stitutes.
When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed. "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"
Grandma Replied. "I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them dry!"..............
And ....
Then the officer fainted!

What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here.
I’ll go on ahead.

Yesterday from The New Yorker;



While certainly a tool of Putin, there's little doubt, that he is criminally insane.
So, that really might be his best defense. Perhaps the attorneys have already discussed
this plea option with him.

I just got done watching this live one minute ago. Terrific !

The Tiger Moth is regarded as among the most famous training aircraft ever. More than 7,300 Tiger Moths were constructed; this biplane was preferred by civilian and military training schools in the UK. Militaries in England, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand trained their fighter pilots on the Tiger Moth. After the Second World War, the RAF phased out this plane. The de Havilland Chipmunk replaced it. Many Tiger Moths ended up in the civilian market that had a huge demand for light aircraft. Today, the various models of the de Havilland Tiger Moth can be seen in aviation museums and private collections all over the world.

One day a Scotsman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself.
As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf is a drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned man and says to him, "Tell me how long it’s been since you've had a cigarette"
"Ten years," replies the Scotsman.
With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, “Och - in the name of the wee man is that good!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of good scotch?" she asks him.
Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him.
He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Tis absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around"
With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs,
"Oh, sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!

Golf is always a man’s first love.

The following were the joke answers given by comedians, before attempting the correct answer;

Question = If you want to be liked by your boss, where should you sit, relative to your boss ?

Joke Answer by Whitney Cummings = "On his lap."

Question = True or false, the number one most popular drug being smuggled into jails last year was Viagra ?

Joke Answer by Byron Allen = "Oh man ! That's truly doing hard time."

Question = True or false, when conversing with someone you like, you generally blink more often ?

Joke Answer by John Lovitz = "Yeah, but that's due to the pepper spray."