Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

..... having home runs hit off your head.



That's using your head, Jose.

" An enthusiastic Preacher belonging to the Society for the Protection of Cows , came for an interview with Swamiji (SWAMI VIVEKANAND) .. He (the Preacher) was dressed almost like a Sanyasi (Hindu Saint) , if not fully so — with a Gerua (Saffron) Turban on the head , he was evidently an Up-Country Indian .. At the announcement of this Preacher of Cow-Protection , Swamiji came out to the parlour room .. The Preacher saluted Swamiji and presented him with a picture of the Mother-Cow .. Swamiji took that in his hand and handover it to one standing by , commenced the following conversation with the preacher ..

Swamiji : What is the object of your society ?

Preacher : We protect the Mother-Cows of our country from the hands of the butcher .. Cow-infirmaries have been founded in some places where the diseased , decrepit Mother-Cows or those bought from the butchers are provided for ..

Swamiji : That is very good indeed .. What is the source of your income ?

Preacher : The work of the society is carried on only by gifts kindly made by great men like you ..

Swamiji : What amount of money have you now laid by ?

Preacher : The Marwari Traders’ community are the special supporters of this work .. They have given a big amount for this good cause ..

Swamiji : A terrible Famine has now broken out in Central India .. The Indian Government has published a Death-roll of Nine Lakhs (Nine Millions) of starved people .. Has your society done anything to render help in this time of Famine ?

Preacher : We do not help during Famine or other distresses .. This society has been established only for the protection of Mother-Cows ..

Swamiji : During a Famine when Lakhs (Millions) of people, your own brothers and sisters , have fallen into the jaws of death , you have not thought it your duty , though having the means , to help them in that terrible calamity with food !

Preacher : No .. This Famine broke out as a Result of men’s Karma , their Sins .. It is a case of ' Like Karma , Like Fruit ' (As You Sow , So Shall You Reap) ..

Hearing the words of the Preacher , sparks of fire , as it were , scintillated in Swamiji’s large eyes , his face became flushed ..
But he suppressed his feeling and said : ........................................... With regard to your cause also , it can be said — the Mother-Cows through their own Karma fall into the hands of the butchers and die , and we need not do anything in the matter ..

The Preacher was a little abashed and said : Yes , what you say is true , but the Shastras say that the Cow is our Mother ..

Swamiji smilingly said : Yes , that the Cow is our Mother , I understand .. Who else could give birth to such accomplished children ?

The Up-Country Preacher did not speak further on the subject , perhaps he could not understand the point of Swamiji’s poignant ridicule .. He told Swamiji that he was begging something of him for the objects of the society ..

Swamiji : I am a Sannyasi, a Fakir .. Where shall I find money enough to help you ? But if ever I get money in my possession , I shall First spend that in the Service of Man .. Man is First to be Saved , he must be given Food , Education , and spirituality .. If any money is left after doing all these , then only something would be given to your society .. "

*** ***

So ...
The moral of the story !!

If Cow is your Mother , then the Bull is your Father .. And as a result , the Children of the union of " Holy Cow Mother and Bull Father " will be nothing but a bunch of COWardly BULLshi**ers !!

I Dedicate this amusing story , one of the Most Famous Legend about Swami Vivekananda , to all those Legendary Morons of our Country , who campaign to promote their most hilariously ridiculous theory that " Holy Cow is our Mother " ...

I sent my new girlfriend a drawn love note I made with my ipad. She replied "awww how sweet". I told her that I actually drew it with my p*nis. She asked "why is the font so thin?"

In a former life, I was a member of a site that had chat rooms, private chat, blogs and forums. On a busy Saturday night you could find over 2,000 people logged in, using the system.
One feature they had was to allow members to add comments to other members photos. Usually it was funny or nice comments. Scammers would often post email contact information for others to to get back to them.

One guy named Chotty could be found on every new profile tagging his words to every female in the system. He was famous. Often, it was mentioned when Chotty commented to a bloggers profile and often brought up in a blog. If I recall he was from the 'Deep South' maybe in Georgia or Louisiana. Chotty didn't blog and he didn't post in the forums. His thing in life was tagging photos.

With so many comments, his favorite line was:
"You've got a bangin' booty babygirl!"

I'm not sure how a face photo determined she had a banging booty... but he said it anyway.

School board candidate facing furious backlash after photo reveals his 'Where is Nancy?' costume


I will vote for this guy

birds of a feather.....

And God CREATED Man in His Own Image"

God is ALL Colors of MANKIND Including BLACK

but when God gazed upon His UNIVERSE He >>>

https://youtu.be/Ya2xifdO_l0